You're saying you wouldn't do it?

[angel-cake]

or do you just think you wouldn't because you have never been in the situation yourself?

I'm, of course, referring to the post by rubyrose.

On the subject of having an affair with someone who is married. I just don't think it's as black and white as saying you shouldn't do it. At the end of the day, if a couple aren't happy (married or not) then things are likely to happen. In an ideal world, that relationship would end before something else happened, but this world is far from ideal.

My guess is that the majority of people who are high and mighty about it have never been in the situation of any unhappy relationship, or meeting someone you click with who unfortunately is taken. So you are all very lucky.

[pastafreak]

Maybe the affair-or the POSSIBILITY of one-serves as the "kick up the backside" that is needed to end a relationship that is already long dead. The children may be grown, there may be no love, no sex for 5,6,7 years;the "glue" that should hold 2 people together is no longer there. Even those of us who would not normally consider such actions may take that path in an attempt to find a way out of misery. To be a 'serial' adulteror-yes ,that is immoral, but the search for a tiny bit of happiness can result in actions that would not be considered otherwise.

[angel-cake]

My thoughts exactly pastafreak :-D

[pastafreak]

I think you have to 'walk in someone elses shoes' before you can make swinging judgements of why people do what they do.To broadly condemn(or approove) a particular action is to fail to see people as individuals.

[pastafreak]

Sorry legend...I think we all can get a bit caried away a bit and after 20-25 responses the 'answers' have evolved into a conversation of sorts.

[pastafreak]

Maybe you are exceptional Legend in that you have the power of your convictions AND are able to stick to them. I tend to think most people are weaker than that. I don't think it makes ALL of them 'lying cheating scumbags'. In my case when I discovered my husband was having an affair it had probably been going on for at least 2yrs. But the marriage was long over& neither of us was happy. I see no point nor would I get any pleasure from raging against those involved-they are still together-maybe they were 'meant to be'-who knows. Please understand-I am not making excuses for similar situations but in order keep a relationship going, both must be committed. Feel like I am rambling a bit here-am tired,hope it makes sense....I wonder are you a victim of one of these scumbags?

[pastafreak]

Are you still there legend? I agree with some of what you say-there are those who ,when they get away with it once,will then continue along the same path. The attitude being that they have nothing to loose. Of course they are the ones who never should have been married in the first place! I suppose because I want to see the good in people,I tend to believe that most will see it as a mistake that doesn't solve problems,that the grass isn't greener and that they need to work on the relationship they have. Oh-and I understood the old saying before you translated it! lol

[pastafreak]

Don't know if the internet is the cause, but it certainly makes me aware of the 'shrinking' world we live in. Info travels fast,and who knows what or who is real or honest. I have seen it stated many times here that we can hide behind our i.d.'s....become something that we aren't really. I know I can't do that but I am sure a fair number do. It is like going on holiday...no-one knows what you are like in 'real' life so you can become a whole new persona until back to boring real life! The net is like wearing a mask....there are certainly some weird relationships on here!!! lol

[curlyfilm]

life is too short, and not all relationships are black and white, whats the percentage of the population that have affairs quite high if i remember, take that as percentage of ab users!!!
if you can enjoy yourself and not hurt others! enjoy yourself!!!
is it not as bad to think about having sex with some one els as actually doing it! who has not thought that?

its better to do something and maybe regret it, than not so it and always regret it!!!

[curlyfilm]

presume? thats it, what you do and what you think are different
how many ab users have been married for a long time, and wonder?
there is a massive difference from being a serial adulterer than someone who after many years, feels like a teenager again,

[pastafreak]

Like I said earlier-maybe those who go into it with the attitude that they have nothing to loose just shouldn't be married,period. As far as not hurting others-that is possible only when niether partner cares anymore...then what one doeswill have less effect.I think the worst part is the resulting loss of trust

[curlyfilm]

how many people flirt on here or other sites?
and they tell thier partners?

[pastafreak]

Hah!...maybe they just want us to think that...hmmm?