Flying the nest- your experiences...

[whiskeysheri]

Good morning, ABers! :o)

What are your experiences of leaving home for the first time? Did you do it alone? How old were you? How did you feel?

I've been wanting to leave home for ages, but now that there's somewhere for me to go I'm getting all emotional about leaving my mum and little bro' (and the house I grew up in!). I don't think I should be, though, as I'm never really at home as it is and I'm very independent.

Tell whisks all about your escape... :o)

[whiskeysheri]

LOL, CD! :o) I hope my mum will do the same, no doubt I'll need it. I just have to hope that she doesn't sell the house because it's so big (I love that house!). x

[what..the?]

I left at 18 to get out of the house I didn't like my childhood at all and my family weren't the nicest people to be around. They were the abusive, annoying argumentative, stuck in their own way people who out if the house were strickly religous types who pretended they were saints. So there was no support from anyone ever growing up as everyone thought my parents were great. They told me they gave birth to me to help out round the house, and thats what I did till I lelt home and rented a bedsit for �45 a week. I studied full time and worked in the early mornings 6am, evening and weekends to pay my living expences. I budgeted no joke for �5 food a week and eat no frills food.

All in all I enjoyed living alone, it was my space, even though I worked all the time I felt independant. I now work and live a very successful life with my bf without my family involved...peace at last!

[whiskeysheri]

Yep, apparently I made him feel uncomfortable in his own house and I parked in his space... on the road, LOL!

[Scarlett]

My escape was the easiest way, I went to university aged 18! This was made easier by my sister also being at the same uni, and I could go home in the holidays. A couple of years later my folks sold their house and moved up to be with US (I didn't ask them to!) and so I lost my childhood home then, which was sad, and still is. I don't feel like I have a parental home anymore, but then I am an adult now. Like learning to drive, I advise it's best to do it young before you really start to think about it!

[annie0000]

I left at 18 (just) I bought my own flat - I was almost too young to sign the mortgage papers, but they delayed the entry date, so i was able to do it myself. I wasn't particularly unhappy at home, but had a big family and it was the only way I was going to get a room to myself! I was lucky enough to get a decent paying job for my age.

Things were very tough as this was in the early 80's with really high interest rates and inflation. I lived on toast a lot. And used to eat at the staff canteen - 3 course lunch for 50p as the the lady in the canteen felt I needed feeding up so give me it at under 18 rates until I was 21.

I have moved loads since then and because I got on the property ladder early now means that I (we!) own a four bed detached house outright. I feel that I have earned it though, because I compromised and saved my money when other teenagers were enjoying theirs.

Good luck with your move, I don't think that you can ever really go back after you have moved out. It is great, as you will never argue with your parents again. You can quite happily agree with them completely, knowing that you can do whatever you want when you go home!

[radiogaga]

thank you whisks,
yes much nicer flat now, gee how times change, i could never have imagined where me and ma fella are today.
now that i think about it me and my dad still dont get on. p@#$^

[bigmamma]

I left when I was 18 and moved into the Nurses Home at the hospital I was to do my training at. Coming from a large family in a small market town the city seemed huge .
When I was nearly 23 I moved to Australia for 13 years.

xx

[Psychick]

At the age of 17 I actually ran away from home! I hadnt had a particulary good childhood but that was in the past, I was just very unhappy with life at home. I was working full time (as I had been since I left school at 16) I was paying �25 a week to my mum ( I was only earing �60 a week) but still being told what I can and cant do and when. I was earning money and paying my way but yet my parents were still giving me times to be in (even on the weekend) and even telling me I wasnt allowed out!
I had my first serious boyfriend who was a few years older and he had just gone to university. So the last straw came when my dad kicked him out one evening when he was just sitting in the living room talking to me whislt I did my ironing, that I thoguht enough is enough!
I handed in my resignation at work. Worked a weeks notice and during that week gradually snuck stuff out of the house and took it to my boyfriends mums house. On the last day at work, I got up as if I was going to work, but instead took the bag I had packed the night before and headed to his mums house where he was waiting for me.
All I left my mum and dad was a letter explaining why I had gone and why I had done it the way I had.
My only regret was doing it the way I did. But for the first time ever my parents showed emotion toward me and showed me they did care which has brought us closer together.

[pixiepie]

i was 16 when i left home. i say left but i was actually kicked out do to arguments with my mother. i floated around for a while till i was 18 then bought a house with my then boyfriend. My home is very important to me now. we moved a lot as a child and it made me very unsettled and id hate that kind of lifestyle for my kids. Hope my kids feel like you whiskeysheri when it comes to leaving home id have them stay with me when they married and had families lol. my hubby was 25 when he left and felt a little sad but more than ready to leave

[Goodsoulette]

just before I was 17. I had already spent a few months away from home in Italy so I knew I could cope without the emotional support. I wasnt really ready to move out. I went back a couple of times, once when I was pregnant with my first son.

I grew up really quickly in some ways but very slowly in others, I wish I hd waited at least 5 more years.

[bobtheturkey]

hello cb i didn't fly out until i was about 23 its strange for a while but you can cook etc i cant so i was back at my parents quite a bit :)

[neo.]

1st time I moved out Ii was 29. Hated it. Was too small a place and too quiet. very lonely.Moved home 18 months later. Better 2nd time around. More where i wanted to live

[leelapops]

Hi, WS! Exciting news about your impending move! Hope it goes really well for you.

I moved out at 17, halfway through college, as me and my bro didn't get on (we are close enough now, and I am 21). I had a lovely childhood, and my parents are just amazing, but I felt I was ready.
First moved into a student house, but hated it, and only spent a term there. Moved into partner's flat-overpriced and so very cramped, no windows! :S It was just miserable. Also, my partner had let his homeless friend sleep there while he was staying at mine, so his dog had papped everywhere, and we had to clean that up-nice!

Left there to move south of the county for Uni 2 years ago. First, a top floor flat with 2 bedrooms which was nice but kind of uneconomical! But our first "proper" space, so that was special.
We were offered a house, then me and my partner split, although we are back together now. So currently in a compact but lovely 2 bed terrace with a little yard for the dog. We even have outside furniture! It's great. Tried to put some yard plants out, but I am lousy at green-fingered stuff, so they are all dead. Except for the weeds, which are thriving!

I don't regret moving out at all. When I was still in my home town, I saw mum and dad twice a week, now I see them at least every 6 weeks, they often visit us, but I try to get up there too if I have study breaks or time off work.
The distance makes me appreciate them more, and I enjoy catching up weekly on the phone. They are looking to move south or abroad anyway, so sticking around would have done us no favours. My bro is in the Army now ("Wo-oooh!") so I see him just enough that we get on fine!
Best of luck, pet x

[leelapops]

Forgot to mention that I have learnt so much by living independently. I can budget, I can run a house successfully, I can cook, I can organise my time, I can clean! I am really proud of myself, and feel it's such a valuable experience, and it's set me up for life. I do see people who have moved out much later and they can sometimes be a bit naive, or just unaware of how it is to live independently.

x