Flying the nest- your experiences...

[whiskeysheri]

Good morning, ABers! :o)

What are your experiences of leaving home for the first time? Did you do it alone? How old were you? How did you feel?

I've been wanting to leave home for ages, but now that there's somewhere for me to go I'm getting all emotional about leaving my mum and little bro' (and the house I grew up in!). I don't think I should be, though, as I'm never really at home as it is and I'm very independent.

Tell whisks all about your escape... :o)

[4getmenot]

was 23, yep I moved to a flat on my own. But redcrx had just split from hubbie and was looking for a flat, she wasnt used to being on her own whereas I've always been independant so we got flats next door to eachother. Had some very funny times there. she's now moved away and I am still on my own in flat.

[4getmenot]

and dont feel bad about leaving mum and bro its what happend. I'm round my mum and dads alot though, probably more now than when I lived at home. :-)

[RATTER15]

I was 20 at the time, I felt a little emotional at the time and I was very happy living at home, I just knew it was time to move on I think, a place of my own etc, I never regretted it!!

[warpig3]

I left at 19, went to live in a shared house with complete strangers, one of whom is still my best girlfriend after 20 years and the other is mrwarpig! I had no problems leaving, my mum put the rent up to �25 a week so I thought 'sod that' (I was only earning �70 at the time), actually it didn't work out any cheaper to live away, but it was a lot more fun.

[ELVIS68]

I left home at 21 and lived in my nans house two roads away, it was brilliant, all my washing and cooking done for �20 a week, Friday nights...steak and chips, shirt and trousers all washed and ironed ready for me to go out on the pull...I used to say to her.."I`ll be in by 11.30 unless I get lucky"..she`d say ..."see you at 11.30 then" bless her

[feist]

I was 18 at the time (3 months before my birthday) and left home for university. I didn't miss home much in the beginning coz I met loads of people and work kept me busy but during long weekends or a very stressful week, I did get really homesick ...

I think it just gets easier with time, you might feel the apt's too big in the beginning coz you're used to being around your family a lot but soon you'll enjoy having the time and the entire place to yourself and decorating the place will make it your own :)

[FUZZYBEE]

I left home at 23, my last night at home was actually the night before my wedding.
We had a lovely flat just round the corner to go to, newly decorated to start married life but I was distraught at the thought of leaving my Mum and Dad. I wasn't mollycoddled or pampered but I just had the most wonderful childhood and I was born in the very same house too so there was a lot of emotions going on that night. Having said that the marriage didn't work out and a couple of years later I moved back in with Mum and Dad and oh my goodness how irritating!!!
I had quite liked being independant, own taste in decor etc and it was quite hard going back there.
I guess it can be quite heartwrenching leaving but as long as you make regular contact with mum and bruv and pop in it can also take your already good relationship onto a newer and better level.
Good luck there may be tears and please please don't forget your mum and brother may be feeling it too.
x

[beryllium]

16/17 to get away from my mother. I moved in with friends and we rented the most awful flat in Cheam. ( I had to still go to school in London )There was a shower in 1 bedroom and damp everywhere.....
I then got a bedsit in Surbiton in a big old house where the mad woman who owned it let her dogs poop everywhere indoors.... god.... that place really was rank lol.....

I then went abroad travelling.....

Hon..... Everyone should leave home. That's all part of the adventure of life :-) xxx Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy!!!

[stylinsam]

hey you dont worry about it look at me im fine (she says ;oP)

and anyway your mum and bro wont miss you one bit teehee (:oP)

if u need me u no where i am xxxx

[radiogaga]

well i got threw out by my dad at 16 and turned up at my aunt and uncles in town, stayed there for5 months, then i rented a room in a manky flat for 35 p/w. flatmates were a mixed bunch of crusties, drunkards and generally mad folk who came and went. character building i'll tell you.

[tiny e.a]

I eased into completely leaving home because, like feist, I left when I went to university. I was 18 and moved to a uni 234 miles away from home. I couldn't wait to leave but found to my surprise that I became very homesick for the first 3 months. I think because it was quite far away I felt very isolated, I was also the only one of my friends to go that year (they all took years out), and I missed them and my social life back home terribly, more than I missed my family or my home.

I was still back home though for abot 16 weeks of the year (christmas, easter and summer) for the first two years, as I got more used to my new way of life I started going home less and less. After I'd graduated I stayed in my university city to work, this was 3 years ago and I'm still here now. For the first year after graduation I really broke away from home, I only visited about 8 days over about 13 months. after that year though (and since getting a job with more stable days off) I started returning home more regularly, now I'm back about once a month.

It's only really as I've got a bit older that I've started really missing old home life, I always feel so nostalgic and I love going back and visiting my mum and dad in the house I grew up in. I always feel so sad and my mum always crys everytime I leave to return, but it's not because I'm unhappy where I am, it's just because I'm always sad to say goodbye to my mum, even though I'm always back within a month anyway!

The End! And good luck with your move!

[whiskeysheri]

4get- I bet you had some brilliant fun being that close to red! :o) x

RATTER- That's how I feel: that's it time to move on, thank you! x

warpig- That sounds very similar to what's happening with me, LOL! One of my best friends has just spilt up with her bloke, so she needs to rent out her two spare rooms to me and our other best friend. We all went to school together and have so much fun. I give my mum the same I'd be paying there, too, which is good. x

LOL @ ELVIS! Your lovely nan! x

feist- I imagine myself getting homesick, too, even though it's only ten minutes down the road, LOL! x

FUZZYBEE- You're reasons for missing everyone are the same as mine. I had such a great time in that house with my family. I've never been wrapped in cotton wool, but we're all very close and I love being in that house with all the memories.

I thought my brother might be a bit upset as he talks to me about a lot of stuff that he doesn't with anyone else, but the first thing he did was tell me he would be having my room and ask if I would be leaving my bed. :o( LOL!

I could tell my mum was a bit gutted, but she wouldn't ever want me to feel like I 'had to' stay around. My younger sister left home about five years ago now which I think she would've found more strange if I'd left sooner.

Thanks, guys! x

[4getmenot]

she may not have had the best times but I did :-) and it was always nice to take it in turns to cook eachother tea and do eachothers washing. :-)

[johnlambert]

left at 16 to join the Army before I killed my step mum or she killed me. My Dad didn't want to sign the papers, she almost ripped them out of my hand lol

[tiny e.a]

Yeah, like fuzzybee, I think the sadness comes from the actual fact that you're leaving a happy chilhood behind. When I was 18 it didn't bother me, I was still half looked after by my mum and dad in that they helped to support me financially and I still spent long periods of time back home during holidays, and I had the late teenage/early adult mentality of 'I am the best! I am invincible! I don't need anyone and I can do what I like!' It's only when you get older that you realise how much parents have given you and start to appreciate them, and by then you're an adult out on your own!

[whiskeysheri]

beryllium- Wow! I should count myself lucky- the house my friend has is gorgeous. I will take your advice and enjoy! Thank you. x

sammi- :oP Cheers, honey. I will be coming to you for advice! x

pa___ul- I don't think I would manage living abroad. You must have so many good memories, though! x

radiogaga- I'm lucky that it's my choice to be going! Poor you. Hope you've got somewhere lovely now. x

tiny e.a- Awww! That's what I imagine I will be like. I never went off to Uni, maybe I should have done to break myself in, LOL! x

[China Doll]

I first moved out when I was 18. I then proceeded to move home three times and move out again four times... so far I'm still moved out but mum knows to keep the spare room free for when I need to run away from any mess I've somehow got involved in... ;0)

[whiskeysheri]

LOL @ john! That sounds like how well I used to get on with my ex-step-dad. I did move in with my dad for quite a while when he was around, then when I decided to come home he cited that as a reason in their divorce- the numpty! :o) x

Too true, tiny. They're great, aren't they? x

[johnlambert]

What??
He sited that his step daughter came to live with them? really? good grief, his loss then!!