pregnant!

[Mindie]

I am 12 weeks pregnant. I am booked in for a termination, it is entirely not my fault that it is at a late stage. I had my original booking in appointment for it a long time ago but there has been hold up after hold up. Now it is 2 weeks away, I am getting very nervous about it. I feel very pregnant and am very emotional. I have a child already.

I havent told the father of this pregnancy (dont really know what to call him). We have been in an on/off relationship for a long while now. I would say we were more friends with benefits but he has hinted that he would like more from the relationship. Ill add he is not the father of my other child and I dont want him to think this is what I do. The circumstances as to how I actually got pregnant have been a marel to the doctors I have seen as I supposedly have full proof contraception in place.

I am at a point now where I really want to tell him. Im not sure whether this me being selfish and just wanting to lift some of the load from me. If I tell him and do and will more likely just go ahead with the termination, I have achieved nothing other than cause some upset somewhere else. Then say we end up being together forever, do I really need this secret.

what would you do? Very interested to hear what the men here think.

[4getmenot]

mountainboo that really isnt fair. I'm sure she is aware but its her life and her baby. Some people arent lucky enough to be in a perfect situation

[mountainboo]

4getmenot, what did i say? my argument is with shadowmans stupid comment. I fully support Mindies decision

[Mindie]

I see what mountainboo is trying to say and realise it wasnt a dig at me.

Then again telling him Im pregnant could just push him away and he could be gone and Im not sure I want that either.

[4getmenot]

ok I just felt the saying that it can hear its mums voice isnt something she needs to hear. But I see you were putting it about the breathing comment now. xx

[4getmenot]

so you do want him. You need to be honest.

[mountainboo]

Thanks 4getmenot. your right though, what I should've done is put on another post aimed at shadow as mindie didnt need to see that. My bad.

[B00]

If that's he case, you're better off without him then. Any man who runs away from such a responsibility isn't a man at all but a coward.

As you've gathered from the answers, split 50/50 mindie, you really are on your own with this painful decision, whatever YOU decide, i'm sure it will be what is best for YOU.

Good luck
:-)

[liquidspace]

I havent been on here for a long time but one thing that is apparent is that wardy is still causing problems, you can recognise him from what he says, whatever name he uses. To say a baby is not a baby until it breathes is ridiculous.
I believe that anything much over 12 weeks should not be terminated without a lot of hard thought or very exceptional circumstances, I once looked up abortion at 12 weeks on the internet - it's amazing how if you dont actually see something happening you dont think it is a terrible thing.

[Shadow Man]

Ermmmmmmmmmmm,

Is it really so bad to mention a hoover???

Sorry guys, but the only way to diffuse the situation is by being honest with words. And she asked for opinions FFS. That is what I am thinking, so that it what I shall say!!!

The fact I am not anti-abortion does not for a minute mean I am pro-abortion!!!! (if such a PRO-looby does exist?)

My reasons for being laissez faire about abortions and not accepting that a baby is a baby before it is born come from common sense and a moral code.

1) Don't count your chickens before they've hatched. Lots of fetuses never turn out as babies. The sad tale last night about the twins being still born due to the floods is a prime example. My view, therefore may help overcome a difficult time. Sh!t happens sadly.

2) I am vehmently against the PRO-life brigade. A bunch of White supremacist Americans spreading their outdated views in to the UK. The problem being is that abortion is in my opinion necessary in many situations.

i.e can a PRO-lifer really say a fertilized white woman pregnant as a result from an AIDS infected black rapist would be better off to keep the child? I think not.

[Shadow Man]

And liquidspace, considerring the poster is probably going ahead with a termination, the fact you are arguing a baby is a baby even in the womb, is hardly a nice image for the poster is it?

So who is the one "causing problems" as you so ignorantly quote? work it out before you spout.

[B00]

Wardy- I'm almost certain that at 14 weeks it won't be "hoovered" out anyway, the usual (correct me if I'm wrong- I'm sure you will, lol) way is for labour to be induced and you give birth to the fetus.

[mountainboo]

Common sense Shadowman: do you know what that is. Tell me did you actually listen during your biology lessons!!!

[liquidspace]

So what's not a nice image for the poster? Knowing that the baby is actually a baby? Dont think Ive said much apart from a baby is a baby well before it breathes.

[Shadow Man]

Booster Girl, admittedly, I do not know the exact proceedure for terminations.

I saw it on TV last year (the controversial Ch4 show, I think) and it was hoovered out.

Why do I feel people atre trying in vain to discredit me? I have given an opinion, a valued opinion from a man!!!!

FFS, is it any wonder?

[China Doll]

I would suggest sticking to the original question and not argueing amonst yourselves and/or using crass terminology or argueing at one stage the baby becomes a baby or a feotus.

I think Mindie may have enough on her plate without having to read all that too.

Just an opinion.

[Shadow Man]

Is a cow fetus a rump of veal before it is born?

Is a sheep fetus, the Sunday roast lamb before it is born?

Are unborn fetuses entitled to any rights?

Are they on the cenus?

How often do they have names before they are born?

How often do we even know their sex?

Do the unborn have a personality?

Can they survive with the umbilical cord?

The answers to these and many more can be found at

www.wardy4PM.com

or at a cinema near you from Friday.

[Mindie]

At 14 weeks it will be a surgical dilation and evacuation. I do know if it gets held up for any other reason and I was forced to go through a labour I would not be able to go through with such a procedure unless there was something critically wrong with myself or the baby.

[Shadow Man]

The fetus mindie, not the baby.

[mountainboo]

Shadow that doesnt warrant an answer. Anyone with half a brain knows the answers to those plus I dont want to be insensitive to mindie. You obviously fell asleep during biology then!! or did you even go to school

[mountainboo]

I know what your trying to do wardy i mean shadowman and frankly I think your sad and pathetic