Loss of a parent

[Drisgirl]

My son -age 22 and daughter 18 lost their dad at 2pm yesterday when a horsebox pulled out in front of his motorbike.He was 50.
I am frightened to go to sleep.............its a bad dream -please-isnt it?.

The people who were driving the horsebox were at fault -they have deprived my children of their dad.He will never see their their children.He will never walk J up the aisle.He will never see what they have achieved.They have in one fell swoop altered my childrens lives for ever and mine as well (although we were divorced we remained close as parents and as friends).
I have NEVER been so bereft.

I am at a loss as to how to deal with this.........

[NiceCupOfTea]

I'm at a loss how to help you. To remove a lovely person from his family is just inexplicable.

I hope he was doing what he loved at the time of his death, namely biking down a good long straight on his favourite bike.

I don't often pray, but I've just done it now.

[Lacey-G]

Drisgirl, my deepest sympathys go out to you and your children.
I'm crying reading your post. Your children will get you through this, you have them and they have you.
My thoughts are with you and yours Drisgirl xxx

[stewey]

Drisgirl, My condolences to you and your family probably won't mean much, but please accept them: that's all I can offer...very sorry to hear what happened.

[Drisgirl]

Thank you all so much - I dont want to sleep -I just want it to be a bad dream.

His dads coming tomorrow to see me and loads of others but I have to be strong for our bairns -I dont know how to.

I feel so weak -I cant stop crying and remembering -its too painful.

Nothing but nothing prepares you for this -they have cheated our kids and I cant and wont forgive them.

We had soooo many dreams and aspirations for them -he'll never see them come to fruition -I have never felt so sad in my entire life.

[FUZZYBEE]

Dear Drisgirl, you will find the strength, and also draw strength from your wonderful children in this very sad loss and tragedy. Ensure all your hopes and dreams you planned together for your daughter and son happen and that will be the nicest memorial to him. He will be looking down and watching over them always.................................wherever they are, he will be.
Do not forget to grieve for yourself and the person you have lost too.
God Bless x

[~Wingnut~]

Oh Drisgirl, my heart goes out to you and reading your post has brought tears to my eyes.
How awful for all of you, you will find an innner strength you never knew you had to cope with the next few days. I'm just so very sorry for your loss.
Sending massive hugs to you and your family xxx

[whippetycros]

Very sorry to hear of your dreadful loss. As other posters say you and your children will survive but it is not easy and it is so unfair.

[alinic]

Drisgirl, i cant add anything else to what people have written, but my thoughts are with you all at such a terrible time.
Regards alinic

[lou 26]

awww Dris (((hugs))) im soo very sorry to hear such tragic news and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this awful time

Im not sure how you deal with something like that. Its awful beyond belief. The shock is also a terrible thing and has enormous affects.

You will come through it, it will take time but you will draw strength and I know you will be there for your children no matter what.

Thinking of you xxxxxxxxx

[raysparx1]

Dris, I have no wise words to take the pain away from you and your children, nobody can take that away only time will ease that pain, all i can say is please talk to each other get angry, cry if you need to, but talk about him he may have gone but part of him is still with you in the children, he will never be forgotten, who can say why these things happen, life seems so unfair, you will get through this, but the next few months are going to be real tough, you will have to help each other to cope, on no account try to be the sole one taking it all on yourself or you will make yourself ill, and please remember to talk, I know it is painfull but you must do it, thinking of you Dris, take care of yourself and be there for each other, Ray xx

[johnlambert]

Drisgirl
What an awful situation to find yourself in,
i can't add anything that other ABers have already said apart from sending you my condolences. My only hope is that his passing was quick and he didn't suffer.
Ray as usual has said wise words.

[hau kola]

Thinking of you.xoxo

[legend758duo]

hope theyre ok.

[mycats]

Oh hon if I could take the pain away for you I would, you know that!

Its just too horrible, J & R have you and you will help them through this, even though it doesnt feel like it just now
Remember one phone call and I will be with you in a shot ok??
x x x

[redcrx]

Theres nothing that i can add to these wonderful posts.

wishing you the strength to cope with this awful situation.

hugs xx

[bigmamma]

Drisgirl , what a dreadful incident and a sad loss of a treasured father and son. My thoughts go to you and your family . I hope you can all pull together and help each other through this . xx

[horselady]

Thinking of you. Take care of yourself.

xxx

[Carakeel]

Dear Drisgirl, how desperately sad your news is. I wish I could send you the strength you now need to help you children and yourself through this. I can only tell you how I faced the death of my oldest son Kevin three days before his 21st birthday. His brother was only 12 at the time and his sister 17. I learned that allowing yourself to grieve and to show emotions is a natural and good thing to do. Share your feelings with your children and allow them to do the same. You may all feel extremely angry at the person who has caused this terrible loss. But, try to realise that this anger cannot bring their father back and will only sap energy from you, vital energy that you will need to get through the coming weeks and months. It will be hard, but try to keep your children calm and help them back to feeling positive. The more you can do this, the more you too will find your balance again. Perhaps you can sit down one evening after the funeral, light some candles and just share all the wonderful times you and your children had with their father. Do this as often as you feel either of you want to and it will gradually draw you away from the sadness. Don't be afraid to visit places you all went together in the past. Recounting the lovely memories you will have of your children's father will make these memories stronger. I include Kevin in my life every day, even though he has been gone for 17 years now. Don't be afraid to talk about the person you have lost, even laugh and cry with them as you would have done when they were alive. I believe it is up to us how much of our loved ones we loose when they die. I will stop now as the tears are flowing as I write. You and your children will always miss their father. That I'm afraid never goes away. But if you keep him in your heart as I do Kevin, you will learn to smile, laugh and be happy again. I wish you all the love and strength you and your children need right now and send you a big hug of support. XXX :o)

[pixiepie]

my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time xxxx

[Hellyon]

Oh Drisgirl I am so sorry for your loss - I would never presume to say 'I know how you feel' but I do have some inkling, I lost my boyfriend many years ago now in a similar way (an 80 year old man pulled out in front of his motorbike as he was coming home from work). Coming to terms with such a sudden, pointless loss is indescribable and sadly no-one else can ever really help you through it, it is a journey you have to take on your own, but rest assured they're every sympathy will be with you as is mine.
I had never felt so helpless and nothing I or anyone else can say will help, but if you do want to 'sound off' we are here and someone will always listen.
Huge huge hug (((((((((((((((X))))))))))))))))))
Hellion