scared of a problem at work

[steve208]

i am really worried about going back to work tommorow as i think ive done something wrong. I said someone could have holiday and then didnt pass on the dates they wanted then it was too late. then i said i would take the flak so she could have it - now i think i am in trouble with hr dept. they tried to phone me on my mobile left a message but by the time i looked at my mobile it was too late to phone them back. i was out for the day on satarday and been off for four days spending time with my girlfriend.
there are other things i think are going wrong and its all because i am no good.

[Whickerman]

I take it you're her supervisor?

With such a position there are responsibilities. You will have to talk it through with HR and explain why you didn't get the paperwork in on time. If you feel you're in over your head and are 'no good' at your job, ask them for a little support and training, putting the ball back in their court.

[stewey]

Keep in mind, Steve, that they have absolutely no right to fire you simply because you're 'no good'. They need a damn good reason to get rid of a no good person. Go to work tomorrow, and then spend hours on here discussing the situation: I'm sure that some good will come of it.

[steve208]

im just paranoid and have low self esteam at the moment. sorry

[Whickerman]

don't be sorry, we all screw up in work at some stage. You were given authority because someone saw potential. Be a leader and go straight to HR - head held high - and tell them you forgot to sort out this person's hols, and could they please help you out of a jam. Do that before they call you. And go in with confidence.

[steve208]

i feel like i am sinking that no one likes me and feel very low. just spent such a good weekend with my girlfriend am now home and wont be able to see her for possibly a month due to the distance and having to work extra.

i need to change careers and move to a new part of the country but that is easier said than done.

[skyep]

Hi steve - I'm sorry you have this on your mind to worry you, you made a slip up, we all do now and again. Take the positive advice Whickerman has given. We are all of us human, don't apologise for having low self esteem either, maybe you could talk to your doctor about that, take care.

[Whickerman]

it is hard to uproot, but if the will's there millions have done it.

You're just feeling low because you miss her, and that's clouding how you see the work situation.

You should seriously think about things, and if moving's right for you ask your gf to help find a job in her area, and in the meantime get off here and call her!

[steve208]

she is going to call me when she gets in from a course she is on. i dont think i will move in with her but i will try to move closer and get something with better hours. i am on anti-depressants - hum my line manager knows i am unhappy but not that i am on medication, does she/should she know? i used to have counselling until this current role started some months ago and the counselling was helping.

[skyep]

Whickerman, thank god there are people with a touch of humanity on here, I get so angry at the flippant remarks made by some, when they have no idea of the state the person who posted the question is. Their replies could possibly push them right over the top.

[Whickerman]

sounds like you should get back into the counsellor.

No, there's no earthly reason why your manager should know about your medication - or the counselling. It sounds like your gf is a support, that can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you handle it.

If your job's getting you down, you're right, you need a change. No job's worth getting that upset over, but it sounds like you're letting small things bother you, and that's not healthy.

Good luck - you need to make a decision or two. Just make sure the decisions are right for you.

[steve208]

thank you. yes my gf is more supportive than she porb should be - she is always there for me. we have looked at what i could do today on the internet but no firm ideas yet. i need to stick where i am at the moment but little things do really get me down and sometimes i contemplate if i would be better not being part of life if im no good.

[loonytunes]

Remember, the person who never made mistakes never made anything (Henry Ford said that, I think) and the person who makes mistakes should be revered and consulted - they are an expert in what not to do. I doubt your job description requires you to be perfect, so they aren't paying you to be.

[raysparx1]

steve, the only thing I can say to you is, if you don't like the job you are in and feel it is too much, pack it in and move to the new part of the country you are on about, we spend a lot of time at work so you must be happy in your job, better to earn a lot less and be happy, don't knock yourself mate just be positive and change your life, only you can do it, have faith in yourself. and do it, sorry i can't advise you on the position at work, but it was obviously down to you so you have got to take the flak for that, but it is not the end of the world is it, all problems have a solution, so stay positive and look forward, good luck steve, Ray

[stewey]

Skyrep, I happen to possess a great deal of humanity and compassion. However I do not possess a great deal of patience for people who come on here, seek advice, and then ignore it. Please use the 'search' facility to obtain a history of 'steve208' postings.

[steve208]

well i dont think i can afford to just quit now as much as i would like to i need to stick it for a bit perhaps until the end of the year. then it may be an idea to leave as at least i may have some time to myself to decide where i want to be etc. i know it can look bad on the cv but i need some thinking and breathing space.

[steve208]

i am sorry if someone has lost patience with me but please i find it useful to vent my feelings on here. i am sorry if you dont think i follow advice but i feel like life is not good at the moment and taking drastic action may have things end up worse.

[stewey]

Sorry, skyep; spelled your name wrong.

[Whickerman]

steve, if you're at a low ebb, I want you to look at the site i'm linking to. I know it sounds like a cliche but as you've had counselling you know how beneficial it can be to talk to someone.

http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

There's a free phone number too, and no, you don't need to be suicidal to talk to someone! You sound like you already know what you need to do, and just need the push to do it. Grab life by the horns - it passes way too fast.

As for work - think on this. For years the guy with the record for home runs in baseball was Babe Ruth. For pretty much the same amount of time, the guy with the record for striking out was... Babe Ruth. My point is that even the greatest **** up but that's not what they're remembered for.

[dimwithwit]

what do ya mean you're no good?
Where is your self asteem?

So you took some time off!! What can they do?

Tell you off and you don't do it again.
Give you a written waring? - well you won't do it again.

If this is your first offence - just take it on the chin, don't appologise, explain their proceedure is in addiquate because it doesn't give you chance to book well in advance, and you didn't think your holidays would co-inside with someoneelse.

Explain that you hold the company in high regard, and you wuoldn't intentionally do anything to jeopodise your status....

They'll gforgive you. at worst you'll get a written warning, but don't do it again.... you'll be fine.#

remember negoitiation is all about having the arguement.

go for it!!!

[steve208]

thank you i will try to phone at some point this week i have phoned before and it is a help to talk to someone who is not close so i can say anything to and not worry about the effect on any relationship etc. tis just getting a time when there is no one else in the house.