Funerals: Burial or Cremation?

[VillageVicar]

Which do you prefer? And if you prefer cremation, may I ask, please, what would you like done with your cremains? (ashes).

[VillageVicar]

When I celebrated my wife�s funeral I was questioned by some who felt it was better to be a participant than the officiant. But I had to explain that the funeral rite is, in fact a celebration. In fact, the liturgy we follow is actually an Easter liturgy. It celebrates the renewal of life. And rather than a liturgy of despair, this funeral rite is an affirmation of our hope.

In this powerful message can come peace, as well as that important demarcation in time that helps survivors move on. Funerals are for the living. And whilst so many of us say �oh, just throw me in a box and forget about me.� It�s actually quite unfair to those who need to remember, celebrate and mourn.

My mother in law always says she looks forward to dancing on my grave when I die. As I�ve said, I love celebrations and especially surprises. So for her, I�ve arranged for my burial to be at sea!

Just kidding

Fr Bill

[paulos66]

Cremated then snorted by my rock star son, or has that been done already......

[Hellyon]

My sister has an american friend who is a potter - she had heard that american indians uses 'cremains' in glazes for pots and when her Father In Law died he requested that she use his ashes to do this. She made three beutiful mugs for her Mother in Law and the two children and made the glaze, which when fired turned the most beautiful shade of blue, the exact same shade as his eyes.

[VillageVicar]

How lovely Hellyon! I'm so fascinated by this I intend to vist a potter tomorrow if I have the time...

I have a cupboard full of cremains. They belong to those whom I've served but had no one who attended their funeral or claim them. I typically strew these cremains in a service on All Souls day.

However, my thought now is that wouldn't they make lovely memorials to be settled in a garden of remembrance as vases, containers, or possibly a bird-bath, where they continue to support life....

Thank you for this contribution...I'll do some research and come back

Fr Bill

[smudge]

I mentioned this thread to my husband & he said he saw an 'eco-friendly' funeral going by last week. The hearse had a wicker type coffin in it, similar to these, which I think are lovely - well we've all got to go one day:
http://www.naturalendings.co.uk/coffins.htm

I said "That'll do me then", as I can't stand the thought of being in a wooden one & seeing as I collect wicker baskets.....

[smudge]

I hope that link didn't scare you all away. ;o}

[Pippa68]

I think to be buried is a bit of a waste..and you will end up being put on top of someone you don't know, or built upon one day..lol.

I will be cremated ~ my children can decide whether the ashes are kept in a jar on the mantelpiece or scattered in a place of their choice. As long as it isn't in the sea or Asda car park I don't mind where :o)

Mr P wants to be scattered into the sea..so we will not be together. Dry land for me, thank you!

[VillageVicar]

Smudge, absolutely! I celebrated an eco funeral a couple of weeks ago. I often mention the whicker coffins to people, but sadly, they are generally more expensive than the norm. Interstingly, the 'eco box' that is on offer is also expensive. The truth is that the wholesale cost for the eco box is quite low, but a number of the funeral companies add an obscene markup to them.

I measure the annual success of my mission in Romania and Moldova by the number of coffins I carry there. One family owned funeral company very kindly provides them at cost. I pay �32.50 for the coffin, �3.15 for the lining, and �5.54 for the 'hardware' which is the plastic unusable handles. They donate the nameplates for me, which I only inscribe as 'a child of God.'

Yes, I agree. They are lovely!

Fr Bill

[Aquagility]

I would really like to be buried at sea. While still legal, the regulations are quite amazingly onerous, and there is huge expense involved. Plus, knowing my luck, it would be rough and my few mourners would wish they had not come.

Cremation is out. Why add to to the greenhouse gasses when I could be putting something back into the earth? And most of the crematorium services I have been to have been so ghastly that I have felt that they were insulting to the deceased

So I go with daffy654, and opt for a country burial. I hope that my time comes before even this simple way out becomes too commercialised and set about with ticky-tacky.

[VillageVicar]

Aquagility: You have hit an extremely emotive subject with me! So much so, I want time to respond. I too share your outrage with my fellow clergy!

For me, there is no greater an honour than to have been asked to sum up a fellow human's life.

However, on the same hand: there is no more daunting a task than to be responsible for taking that person's life and accurately summing it up within a time-span of twenty five minutes!

Not once in my life have I ever asked mourners to pick up a funeral service guide (the books that are placed in the chapels). And not once have I ever read the same homily!

Yes, it requires work. But too right! It should!

I actually must go do hospital rounds...but I wish to come back to this thought...

be well

Fr Bill

[VillageVicar]

And a thought to add:

http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/search?q =as+long+as+we%27re+remembered

Fr Bill

[Kleiber]

I just want to be buried next to my hubby, in our village churchyard. I go to visit him a lot & tell him that one day, I'll be with him. I do say that although I miss him terribly, I hope it'll be a long time before I'm there too, though!

[Kleiber]

Hellyon - I love that idea of using the cremains for a pottery glaze! Do you have any details of who could do it, or would your average potter know, d'you think? K

[VillageVicar]

Hellyon: Yesterday I took some cremains with me to a friend who does pottery. She's going to work with it to see what she can do.

She was particularly interested in trying combinations of including it in the clay, different measurements of mixture and with using it in the glaze.

I'll let you all know how this turns out.

Thank you again!

Fr. Bill