ChatterBank0 min ago
It's so unfair that at age 27 I still feel sick with worry about girls I like.
129 Answers
I feel like I'm about 17 again, and this shouldn't be happening to me, but I think I'm getting quite obsessed (in a NON CREEPY way) with a girl at work. I really like her, and I'm convinced she's perfect for me. I've been spending a fair bit of time together, and we go out to lunch most days, just the two of us. I can't tell if she's interested though, and it's driving me nuts. How on earth am I
A. Going to find out she's interested
B. Actually ask her out. This is someone I work with so it's going to have to be during the day.
A. Going to find out she's interested
B. Actually ask her out. This is someone I work with so it's going to have to be during the day.
Answers
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nick I think you'll get there in the end don't be so hard on yourself! I'm exactly the same as Goodsy and have never been able to tell people I like how I feel about them - well I have but it takes me forever and lots of fannying about and general dithering and reading too much into stuff. I've just done it for the third time in my life and it was the scariest thing because this time I was really worried about mucking up my friendship with him. Needless to say it all went horribly wrong but I'm still glad I did it because now I know exactly where I stand (I think) and I know I can move on now and I'm still friends with him.
You will feel a huge sense of relief when you finally do it! And like you, I'm 27 and feel quite concerned that I still get wobbly about stuff like that and I'm separated with a young child :)
You will feel a huge sense of relief when you finally do it! And like you, I'm 27 and feel quite concerned that I still get wobbly about stuff like that and I'm separated with a young child :)
Came back to check your progress and find out you sent an email, bad move. As I said previously you need to make it 100% clear that this is a date, from what you say that doesn't seem to have been the case, however you have now moved it on to a different sceanrio.
The biggest mistake is that your email set a boundry, your success or failure was limited to a single response. You gave her the option to delay or avoid the issue because even if she wasn't going out she could say she was. If you wanted to do it via email (which in my opinion is never a good idea) should have been to say something along the lines of "do you fancy going for a drink after work some time, just me and you".
However all is not lost, I do agree that no additional reply from her of "can't tonight but maybe another time" might put a bit of a downer on the situation, however as I say she may not be fully aware of what you were asking.
Nothing left to do in my opinion other than ask outright for a date. Believe me the pain will be over quickly.
The biggest mistake is that your email set a boundry, your success or failure was limited to a single response. You gave her the option to delay or avoid the issue because even if she wasn't going out she could say she was. If you wanted to do it via email (which in my opinion is never a good idea) should have been to say something along the lines of "do you fancy going for a drink after work some time, just me and you".
However all is not lost, I do agree that no additional reply from her of "can't tonight but maybe another time" might put a bit of a downer on the situation, however as I say she may not be fully aware of what you were asking.
Nothing left to do in my opinion other than ask outright for a date. Believe me the pain will be over quickly.
WHAT'S HAPPENING!!! I've got my lunch and I'm here waiting for the next installment.........
By the way just to keep you going; I used to have a male friend, when we weren't going out with anyone we used to go to gigs, pub, movies etc. I realised that I had started to have feelings for him and, after putting it off for YEARS I screwed up my courage to tell him that I thought of him as more than a friend - guess what he felt the same about me, we have been together 20 years and married 15 with a wonderful son. Our only regret.........that we wasted so much time f@rt@rsing about at the begining as we would have been together 26 years!!!
By the way just to keep you going; I used to have a male friend, when we weren't going out with anyone we used to go to gigs, pub, movies etc. I realised that I had started to have feelings for him and, after putting it off for YEARS I screwed up my courage to tell him that I thought of him as more than a friend - guess what he felt the same about me, we have been together 20 years and married 15 with a wonderful son. Our only regret.........that we wasted so much time f@rt@rsing about at the begining as we would have been together 26 years!!!
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