What would you say?!?

[Sprinky]

Hi all,
I have a dilemma! I live in a flat and a man lives in the flat directly underneath. At regular intervals I can hear him having sex (the woman is a mystery as I have never seen her!). Its either first thing in the morning (and wakes me up) or when I've gone to bed at night (and wakes me up again!). Its very routine! lol

Anyway, I rarely hear him but hear her making the same repetative, tedious noises (she should win an Oscar!) which is begining to irritate me enourmously. I suppose it was funny at first but now its just so annoying to be constantly be woken up by what sounds like a bit of a "show" anyway.

I want to say something so that I can put a stop to it (hopefully) and try and tell him/her to be mindful. Do I do it face to face or in a note? And what do you say????

Help...

[perigra]

Bang on the floor, they'll get the message!

[Sprinky]

I have thought of that but he is quite a big bloke and I dont know how he'll respond :-/

[sleepyj]

maybe he wants you to hear hoping you might ask to join in lol,

[Ice.Maiden]

Are you sure it's him "at it"? He might be watching a vid!

[lilyfrog]

I would bang loudly and floor and shout "shhhhuuuurrruuppp" but I am not known for my calm measured responses. If you are afraid of how he will react then simply slip a very polite but clear note under his door telling him you are regularly woken by the noise he makes whilst having sex and you would appreciate it if he and his partner could keep it down between the hours of 11pm and 7am. Don't use any euphemisms, as if he feels you are embarrassed then he my try to use that to manipulate you, but at the same time dont be rude. simply request he is more considerate in the same manner as if you were asking him to fix a creaky floor board or quite a noisy dog.

If that doesn't work then beat him at his own game!!

[Sprinky]

Thanks for your answers (the sensible ones!), I may give a polite note a try.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi sprinky :o) How about getting up and stomping (not too loudly) around your room when it happens, it may make them realise that they can be heard. Other alternative would be whilst you are stomping about to say quite loudly "Not again!!" or "For God sake hurry up so I can get some sleep!". Good luck it's a tricky one.

[REDHEAD24]

if other people live near u - then put a note in , he can never prove its you then

say ( do it on computer )

we are sick of you pretending to have sex with someone we know you are ******* , refrain from this noise as the enviromental health will be doing an investigation into this

sad git
good luck mate ART
or u could and in fact this is better
START SCREAMING AND SHOUTING MORE - EVERY 30 MINS OR SO THROUGH THE NITE - PLAY HIM AT HIS OWN GAME

[perigra]

smear blood on his door and hang dead animals on his door handle. this should scare any women from visiting him and so put an end to your dilema!

[lou 26]

aww i sympathise, i really do! I had the same problem a few years ago when I had my first flat. The couple upstairs were a nightmare in a number of ways not just when they were having sex, but that was noisy! Like you say its funny at first.. I decided to confront the couple and when i was on their doorstep tried to embarrass them by telling them rather loudly that I could hear them having sex most nights.... to be told by the female half of the couple "oh yes, we used to live with my sister but she threw us out because I make too much noise when we're having sex" Not much I could say to that so I moved!

Hope you get it sorted! xx

[Sprinky]

Hi Wingnut
I don't think he would hear if I stomped, I think the floors are concrete! I tried banging on my bedroom wall in the hope that it would travel downstairs to their bedroom but all I ended up with was a sore hand lol!

Other people do leave near, yes but I suppose it wont take much detective work for him to realise it was me, in any case I suppose it doesn't really matter if he does, at least i will have said my bit! I have drafted a typed up note ready to put through at some point but I'm picking my moment, I'd hate to get sprung hehe!

Its strange, Ive never seen a woman going in or out though!

Thanks everyone who answered, I'll give a progress report at some point if it ever gets passed the grunting and groaning stage!! ;-)

[figure]

Ice could be right, he might just be watching phonography. If you live alone be careful he try to attack you after he receive the note.

[tiggerblue10]

I do sympathise with you.

I had to put up with something similar a few years ago. My horrible neighbour used to play her music very loudy any time between 10pm and 4-5am nearly every night. This happened for nearly 2 years until the council took her to court and she was prosecuted under the Noise Nuisance Act.

Neither my neighbours or I could reason with her so we had to get the council involved. She was and still is a nasty person and has also had involvement with drugs and firearms.

Good Luck Sprinky. x

[loublou1971]

We had a problem with the new neighbours son (21 year old) who's bed head is obviously on the dividing wall, we had to try to explain to our ten year old what the continuous banging against the wall at 4am one sunday morning was (yes he'd brought someone home) not the first time either. I mentioned it to the son's mother by asking for him not to have his bed against our wall when he's entertaining at 4am as i was unable to explain to my child what the banging noise was, which continued for over an hour. I think it embarressed her. We suspect he moved out, we have not heard or seen him since.

Most people cannot 'perform' when they know that others can hear. We knew we could be heard on our honeymoon and my husband only showed any interest when we knew no one could hear.

I think this neighbour could be watching a video like suggested, i hope you try the note. He may not realise.

Good luck.

[Compostella]

Same noises?
Like a show?
Never see a woman?
Never hear him?

Hes watching a DVD Sprinky!

[hussy]

just have to put on ear plugs sprinky or you could have a joke with him and hopefully he will be embaraced about it. hopefully he wont feel like a stud muffin and keep it up.
what if your parents had to stayover, cringe!!

[Whoever]

If it's still happening, put a card though his letterbox saying "I'm glad youi and your girlfriend are obviously having such a good time together, but could you please keep the noise down as even my goldfish has to put his flappers over his ears".

[Sprinky]

Well folks, for those who are interested, I did put a note through the door! And for those who think its some saddo watching a porno, it isnt. Although the noises are monotonous(!) they are slightly varied.

Anyway, I popped a clear but polite note through but within a couple of days the ****** was at it again. Well, his bird was, give the performance of her life and she added words to her limited vocabulary.

So, my fellow readers, if you hear about a woman that comes to a grizzly end anytime soon dont tell 'em that Sprinky did it!!!

[Ugly Bloke]

Just a different angle - there are some very good ear plugs on the market which really would help alos play music softly while you sleep.
Alternatively or as well, buy a hardcore CD(160 beats per minute) with a really loud MC. The base line will be really penetrating and the moment they finish -crank it up hard - warn your other neihbours first as you will wake the whole street but they WILL get the message.

[JonnyBoy12]

He is having sex with someone he loves.....Himself!