Ripley - please, please have another talk with your doctor and be as frank as possible about how you're feeling. If you're dis,issed as attention seeking, seek an appointment with another doctor.
Sweetie, a good friend of mine ended it all, and a few days later, my cousin did the same. The anguish of those left behind was - and still is at times - almost unbearable, to the point of almost wanting to follow suit. There are people who can help you - starting with the Samaritans, and there are dozens of very understanding people on here, so please talk to us whenever you fee like it - xx