I love him..

[hippyhoppy]

but he's married - what's a girl to do..? step back or make a move..?

[hippyhoppy]

I'll get the girls round this weekend and pop on Abba - you know what, I think he'd be desvatated to know how I feel - I've not cried over a bloke for years!! he's still a nice bloke - please don't be nasty about him...

[pastafreak]

errmm.....how far has this progressed????....are you still in the day-dreaming phase??......or is this a full-fledged affair??
.....if it isn't, you -and he-can get out with your self-respect still intact. Don't let it go further hun-it really is not worth the potential hurt and grief it can produce.

[hippyhoppy]

OK - ladies - stop making me out to be the bad=un... it's all in my dreams.. and I wouldn't get in the way of young mothers and babies and dadies.. one day my prince will come..

[ELVIS68]

If you`re in love with this bloke then so be it, Gloria and Abba may take your mind off him for a while but deep down it won`t hide your feelings for him

Only you can decide what`s best for you

Good Luck

[sn�gged]

Sorry, but 'he's still a nice bloke'?

At the risk of seeming callous, take off the rose tinted glasses... if he can cheat on his pregnant wife, what makes you think he won't do it again?

[Ice.Maiden]

I'm not being deliberately nasty about him - but guys like him in general, aren't really worth a light. Can you imagine being in the wife's shoes if she knows, or finds out? Your devastation's nothing to how she'd feel after being cheated on.These things happen, but the married ones hardly ever leave their wives, and if they do, further down the line they sometimes wish they hadn't. If your man's truly unhappy at home, then he'd leave, but he wasn't THAT unhappy just a few weeks or months ago, was he? If you get him, then fair enough, but he'll always have the tie of the child there, and'd need to see his ex. Are you ready for all that? I wish you all the best hippyhoppy, but i think that night in with the girls is going to be your best bet. x

[trt]

hippyhoppy,

Just think about if he left his wife for you.

There you both are living together and he comes home late or doesn't come home at all, what would you think?

If he is having an affair with you and has a pregnant wife at home, he is not worth thinking about.

[hippyhoppy]

Ice - I know - and I'm prepared for nothing to happen.. shame - please don't think ill of me,, I'm just a girl.. (of consierably older age) looking to the (no existent) future... no wonder there were tears!

[pastafreak]

You'll get thru this hippy....I promise (been there)
((((hug))))

[Ice.Maiden]

I'm not here to judge you hun. It's the GUY who needs a good kick up the backside, but knowing the situation as you do, and at the risk of it breaking your heart, I think you've got to be brave and do the decent thing.
As trt said, if the same thing was being done to you, can you imagine how horrendous it'd be?
It must be very difficult for you, when you love this person. Wish there was something I could say to cheer you up. x

[jen78]

Oh hon :( It' must be really hard and everyone knows what it's like to be in love, love is blind and all that.

He married and made a long term commitment to another woman and is now having a baby with her, so I guess that side of the relationship was Ok at least before the pregnancy.

I know things can change but his world is about to be changed dramatically with the arrival of his child, a life long commitment, and helping look after the child and it's mother who he wll now be forever tied to.

Even if he did leave, I don't imagine the fall out would be at all easy, leaving a pregnant wife or new born child, the effect on family and friends would not, I don't imagine, be pretty and I don't know how you would be able to cope with the backlash as well and potential reaction of his family and friends and no short term thing with a new child on the way.

It doesn't bode well for a happy new relationship.

I'm not saying it might not work out, now or in the future, but, in the meantime, hold your head up high and walk away and find someone who can give their all to you, you deserve better hon xxx

[mountainboo]

Take this from someone who once had an affair with a married man with 2 children in a 10 year relationship. Many people will get hurt because the truth always comes out in the end. It is by far the worst thing I have ever done and I will live with the guilt for the rest of my life.
Thankfully the person involved was able to salvage the marriage and the mans sister in-law and neice (literally) knocked some sense into me. And my partner took me back which was the best thing that ever happened to me as we got married and now have a beautiful son together.
I really don't want to sound preachy but please stop and think of the bigger picture. ITS NOT WORTH IT I promise you.

[Velvetee]

Statistically, the majority of married men do not leave their wives and if they do, it tends to be for another woman, not the women they are having the affair with.

Consider also, if he's cheated on his wife (expect he's given you an array of "my wife doesn't understand me" stories) he is likely to do the same to you at some point.

Also, do you really love him, or is it that he's unattainable and unavailable, so your want for something you can't really have is greater?

[cazzz1975]

leave well alone, he may be a nice guy but nice guys dont cheat on their pregnant wives. you may just be feeling down and enjoying the attention, look at it from her perspective, also remember whilst he confesses to liking you he is still having sex with his wife, dont be fooled by the "we dont have sex" or the "my wife doesnt understand me" lines

Most if not all married men never leave their wives, but they will string the other women along with sad tales of why they cant leave "just yet" or their feelings of guilt which will make you think they are a poor misunderstood little soul...all said to shut you up and continue handing out the sex.

[weeal]

ohh hippyhoppy it is sad, ive heard that descriptive name before?
you know you have to love him and leave him dont you?

[jno]

men do seem to get itchy feet when wives are pregnant, I don't know why but it's more common then. He isn't necessarily a monster, but you shouldn't offer him more than tea and sympathy.

[sandmaster]

As a mere male I agree with Ice Maiden. He is cheating on his wife - if he left her for you, would you ever be able to trust him? Difficult - love is cruel (sometimes)

[sandmaster]

He is cheating on his wife. If he left her for you - would you ever be able to trust him? Love is cruel. You won't get over him until you fall in love with someone else. But whilst you keep seeing him that isn't going to happen.

[banjobabe]

He's a cheater end of

If that's what you want in a man

But dont be crying when he does the same to you.

Fill yer boots

Bb xx

[jake-the-peg]

My mother had an affair with a divorced man for a number of years before she left my father for him when I was in my early 20s.

She and my now step-father are celbrating their silver wedding anniversary next year.

It happens - but it's rare