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A boy in a mans body.
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My partner of two years is very inexperienced when it comes to things of a sexual nature, his whole attitude to it is of a pre-pubescent teenager.
He calls his friends names (on a friendly basis) that are degrading and rude, when i point this out and ask him if he knows what the words means, he's got no idea at all, it's like he's a kid in the playground who's heard the older boys say things and copies them to look big.
When we're in bed together he has no idea how to please a woman and the act itself is just missionary position and when he's finished that's it, too bad if i haven't enjoyed it.
We've discussed this problem and because he was a shy teenager and didn't have any girlfriends until he met and married his wife, who was also a virgin, he says he wants to learn how to please a woman and will i teach him........lucky me teaching a man who has no pre-conceived ideas of his own about pleasing a woman, i can mould him into my own little love machine.
Well you would think so wouldn't you?....unfortunately reality is not like that, i explained and showed him the parts of my body that like to have kissed and stroked, etc, etc , asking him what parts of his body he likes to have touched and how he feels when i touch him there too. I'm taking it one step at a time but he just doesn't seem to want to learn, he says he's tired when i ask him to touch me but in the next breath he'll ask my to bring him off!
I've tried leaving sex dvd manuals for him to watch when he's on his own, i've also put them on when we're together but he doesn't seem interested, i know he sometimes gets embarrassed about sex, but i'm talking to him about it as basic and as un-pushy as i can to compensate this....it was easier teaching my two adult children the birds and bees when they reached their teen years!
We are both in our late 40's and i'm not about to give up on him and our sex life just yet, so what can
He calls his friends names (on a friendly basis) that are degrading and rude, when i point this out and ask him if he knows what the words means, he's got no idea at all, it's like he's a kid in the playground who's heard the older boys say things and copies them to look big.
When we're in bed together he has no idea how to please a woman and the act itself is just missionary position and when he's finished that's it, too bad if i haven't enjoyed it.
We've discussed this problem and because he was a shy teenager and didn't have any girlfriends until he met and married his wife, who was also a virgin, he says he wants to learn how to please a woman and will i teach him........lucky me teaching a man who has no pre-conceived ideas of his own about pleasing a woman, i can mould him into my own little love machine.
Well you would think so wouldn't you?....unfortunately reality is not like that, i explained and showed him the parts of my body that like to have kissed and stroked, etc, etc , asking him what parts of his body he likes to have touched and how he feels when i touch him there too. I'm taking it one step at a time but he just doesn't seem to want to learn, he says he's tired when i ask him to touch me but in the next breath he'll ask my to bring him off!
I've tried leaving sex dvd manuals for him to watch when he's on his own, i've also put them on when we're together but he doesn't seem interested, i know he sometimes gets embarrassed about sex, but i'm talking to him about it as basic and as un-pushy as i can to compensate this....it was easier teaching my two adult children the birds and bees when they reached their teen years!
We are both in our late 40's and i'm not about to give up on him and our sex life just yet, so what can
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You could try RELATE. They have a sexual counsellor.
Ultimately if you are actually being as reasonable as you say you are then there's also potential that he's just being a lazy lover which is not something I would wish to sustain. Sex is not the be-all of a relationship but it is an important part for me personally and as such I would not be hugley tolerant with someone who wanted me to 'bring them off' but was not interested in how I tick. It speaks volumes about their approach in other parts of the relationship.
Ultimately if you are actually being as reasonable as you say you are then there's also potential that he's just being a lazy lover which is not something I would wish to sustain. Sex is not the be-all of a relationship but it is an important part for me personally and as such I would not be hugley tolerant with someone who wanted me to 'bring them off' but was not interested in how I tick. It speaks volumes about their approach in other parts of the relationship.
As a man he must fantastically unresponisive to common sense not to have been taking on board what you've been doing. Frankly it's not rocket science, and he should be looking for clues as to what pleasures you anyway, and as he's not and has managed to get to his late 40's without learning a thing about how to please his partner, I agree with china I think he's possibly just a lazy selfish git who has no sense of self worth and consequently no sense of yours either.
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It doesnt take an expert to know what feels good, and DVDs or instructional manuals aside, if he's not into this whole sexual experience with you, I would make two educated guesses - a) it's you he's not into (which is probably not the case) or b) he's confused sexually about what he really likes or wants.
Maybe into late 40's he's struggling with a secret within himself. Could he be bisexual? Could he be self concious with his inability to control orgasm, his endurance level or even the size of his member? All these factors could contribute to the problem, and unfortunately, added presure from you to understand and help him by asking questions of him probably is hurting and not helping.
Be honest with yourself about whether this is how you want to see yourself for another two years..or longer.
Good luck to you.
Maybe into late 40's he's struggling with a secret within himself. Could he be bisexual? Could he be self concious with his inability to control orgasm, his endurance level or even the size of his member? All these factors could contribute to the problem, and unfortunately, added presure from you to understand and help him by asking questions of him probably is hurting and not helping.
Be honest with yourself about whether this is how you want to see yourself for another two years..or longer.
Good luck to you.
You are very kind and patient. I personally couldn't tolerate this and would find him tediously irritating.
He doesn't sound very sensitive in any way, especially as a lover and seems only interested in his own pleasure and not in learning about your body.
My Fiance has only had one other lover and then had a long abstinence after she broke his heart. When he gets the chance, which isn't very often these days, as I'm right off it at the moment, he is a very attentive and giving lover and I would never have known of his inexperience, had he not told me.
The point is, my Fiance is always looking to improve his sexual skills and learn new things. Your partner has to WANT to please you, or there is little hope for a good lovelife with him.
He doesn't sound very sensitive in any way, especially as a lover and seems only interested in his own pleasure and not in learning about your body.
My Fiance has only had one other lover and then had a long abstinence after she broke his heart. When he gets the chance, which isn't very often these days, as I'm right off it at the moment, he is a very attentive and giving lover and I would never have known of his inexperience, had he not told me.
The point is, my Fiance is always looking to improve his sexual skills and learn new things. Your partner has to WANT to please you, or there is little hope for a good lovelife with him.
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