Why is life so hard?

[Lorzy Lor]

Will it really look better in a years time looking back? Will it be better? I really really dont know what to do!

Leave or stay?

[Lorzy Lor]

yep, my marrage of 9 years, father of my son, whose 2. its so sad, we've been going wrong since he was born, but lots has happened last two months, and I think i need out

[Lorzy Lor]

something really bad happened to me, i kept it from him, to protect us, then told him, He said he was going to be with me forever no matter what, and really lead me to believe him. However, now, i find out that whilst he was reasuring me, he met a lady he had a connection. Found an email from him to her, I'd just gone upstairs when he sent it. Basicly wishing to start something, and reminishing on the time they spent togther. Thankfully she declined.

this is the third time he's done something like this.

what am i to do?

[Lorzy Lor]

He said when i confronted him that it was a goodbye email. Was it hell. If she'd come back saying yes, he'd have gone for it. He told his friend that she was doing all the chasing - most def not true.

I feel very traped in our relationship, he is a lier, very agressive, mentaly abusive, manipulative. I am no longer myself, and dont really know who i am anymore.

[Ice.Maiden]

Lor, you've been together a while now and have a child between you. Have you tried communicating with your partner - irrespective of his philandering for a minute - to see if he's as fed up as yourself? By talking openly and honestly to each other, you may find that the relationship's run out of steam, or, you could just both be unhappy for various reasons which could, with work, be sorted out.

[Lorzy Lor]

He was away for the weekend, and he met a lady he had a VERY strong emotional connection with, they have talked and msn'd alot over last few weeks, and it was obvious from the email that he wanted more. She even appoligised in her emal back that she was sorry she couldnt meet his expectations.

I;ve asked him what they were, but he keeps side stepping the question

[Lorzy Lor]

Every few months we reach a point where we have a 'talk' and hope every thing will be ok, but then it all comes on top again, and we're back to square one.

He is not happy, and neither am i. I dont think i've been myself for a long time, i'm fed up of being undermind, spoken to badly in front of people. I dont think he means to do it, but he cant stop.

[Ice.Maiden]

I agree about any aggression or abuse. If that's the case, you need to move on, if only for the sake of your son.

[Ice.Maiden]

Doesn't sound like the recipe for a good relationship Lor. If you love someone, you wouldn't put them down or make them feel inferior. I'd seriously give him a month to pull his socks up, and then say that you want him out if he doesn't stop behaving in this manner.

[Lorzy Lor]

Thankfully me and little one are away to butlens with a female friend and her little one, so i am going to get some space, on thurs will prob head to my mums and hang there for a bit, dont know.

I've prob protraide him in a really bad light, there are bits of him that i love, but he doesnt really acept how his actions afect me, and thinks it is mostly my fault because i'm not like i used to be. I was out there, care free, lively, fun, laughy (i know thats not a word, but you know what i mean) i now am fearful of social things. I no longer feel i can breath, be myself, be relaxed. its not good.

maybe i should make this work> I just dont know :(

[Lorzy Lor]

he's not physicly abusive, at all. I just seem to lose the will to fight on things, so supress how i really feel. We were suposted to be going to Scotland on Thurs, to visit some (distant) friends. I wasnt too keen, then the flights were booked on off we were to go, my mum was looking after titch, I REALLY didnt wat to go.

I have told him i am not going. But feel strangly bad for saying no, but i dont want to go, so why should i? I'm so confused about how i'm feeling now.