what are the consequences?

[samsworld]

recently found out my husband has been having an affair with a much younger girl. i have confronted her and told her i will inform her parents, i think something which would be mortifying, well it would if it happened to me the shame of it. is there anything wrong or illegal in phoning her dad up at work and telling him just how moralistic his daughter is and how he must have brought her up badly. ive heard all the takes two to tango stuff, ive already dealt with hubby shall we say. i just feel i want closure on this girl and i wont stop til ive done something to ruin her life too, but will this? anyone else done a similar thing out there and if so what were the consequences? wanting to know too if its illegal to do this in case its classed as slander, though who can prove the phone call? after all its freedom of speech and all that isnt it?!

[ladybird49]

How old is she ?

[ummmm]

She didn't marry you and vow to stay faithful to you. Your husband did. He's the one who's caused you this pain.

How old is this girl?

[samsworld]

28 n already had one other affair with a man who had a long term partner

[ummmm]

28 and you're thinking of telling her Dad? She's an adult.

[bobjugs12]

Samsworld,
You really don't want to do this. You vent your anger on this girl and you'll screw things up for yourself. Unless this girl is under 16 then telling her folks will accomplish the square root of fcuk all!! She ain't gonna die from it, her parents ain't gonna disown her, you'll look like a crazy woman .
Realistically, if the girl is as young as you imply then you need to figure out a few things.
1) Is your hubby a nonce?
2) If her dad found out is your hubby a dead man walking? (I know if this was one of my daughters I would cut his balls off and feed them to him!)
3) What was going wrong in your relationship for hubby to wander off?
4) What blame have you attached to hubby?
5) Is your anger to her actually jealousy?

[ladybird49]

Phoning her dad will only show you up - your problem is your husband

[joannie10]

Your husband is the one that has done wrong! Don't let yourself be so bitter.

[bobjugs12]

I've just seen that.
28 = much younger? How olds your husband??????
Jesus woman, her parents are not gonna give a monkeys fart about this!! She's a fully grown woman, not a girl!

[samsworld]

i know,i know, apart from hubby problem, yes of course one of the reasons is jealousy and i feel she has ruined our lives right now, she kept pursuing him and flirting with him and yes, he reciprocated. i just want her parents to be aware of the fact she is not their little princess, she opens her legs easily at work and what a daughter you have etc. i doubt my hubby's head would be on the block as her parents live miles away.

[redcrx]

deal with your husband and leave it at that.
Her parents have nothing to do with it at all.

[samsworld]

hubby 49, i dont care if they arent bothered but they will be shocked she could do such a thing im sure.

[ummmm]

It's also not fair on her parents.

[redcrx]

"i just want her parents to be aware of the fact she is not their little princess, she opens her legs easily at work and what a daughter you have etc."

well i hope that the women also tells everyone what your husband does too then in that case.

Deal with your anger and sort out your own relationship, if you cant then leave him

[ummmm]

Why would you want to hurt them? They've done nothing wrong.

[samsworld]

and no i dont see her as an adult, just a foolish girl who is carefree and was on a mission, even asking him to leave me.

[ummmm]

She's 28...!!

You also don't know what your husband was saying to her....My wife doesn't understand me...!!

[samsworld]

they have done something wrong, they brought her up without morals. believe me thats already been said to my inlaws. im so angry and upset as you can imagine, of course its fair, alls fair in love and war when you are scorned.

[ladybird49]

If shes like you say anyway ( loose ) she may move onto the next guy ? you need to have it out with your husband and either fight or leave , i know what id do ... but its your life

[redcrx]

so if you dont see her as an adult then you can only blame the one person who you do see as responsible, your husband.

Do you have children? how would you feel if someone called you out of the blue to spill such venom?

[Robinia]

Why do you think her parents will be shocked? She may have been doing this all her adult life...maybe they are the same?
I agree with the others, telling her dad will just give her reason to laugh at you.
Maintain your dignity, do nothing, that way you'll always have her wondering what you're thinking. Make sure to look as good and as happy as possible in places you're likely to see her, don't give her the satisfaction of appearing to be upset by her. (Obviously you will be but don't ever let it show...I'm speaking speak from experience)
If you are making a go of things with your husband concentrate on that & don't let this eat away at you.