If your partner was to go away for a few days with a "mate"...

[Garnier]

would he ask you first if it's ok or would he just go whether it inconveniences you or not?
As you can guess the latter has happened to me.

OH has gone off with a mate for two days leaving me to look after dogs, children etc. He didn't even ask if it was ok or if I minded. Common curtesy I would have thought. I wouldn't dream of going away for a few days without asking if it was ok.

Am I over-reacting or not? TIA

[ummmm]

Plus no fun CD...

[Bbbananas]

True china, true. But it is the initial reaction!

[China Doll]

Exactly ummmm....

[redman41]

I would not consider going on Holiday or a Weekend away without my Partner. If I had to go somewhere on my own for whatever reason I would always discuss it before hand.
That is irresponsible behaviour by your OH, has he left an Emergency contact number with you just in case ?

[China Doll]

It's a knee jerk reaction that won't solve anything and will just actually make you feel more miserable because it stems from a negative circumstance. Better they just have a chat, see what can be done about this weekend without merry hell breaking lose (even if that means he has to cancel as it is a bit short notice) and arrange to do something nice together.

I just got the impression it wasn't about him going away this weekend perse.

[merciasounds]

I'm sorry if I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here, but the way you've put "mate" in inverted commas, is it that you really are annoyed about short notice, or don't you entirely trust him - do you think it's a lie and he's having an affair?
Like I say If I'm wrong in thinking that then I am sorry. Do you know this mate of his?And do you know where he's going and what he's supposed to be doing?

[China Doll]

Kind of what I thinking Mercia.

[Bbbananas]

Mmmm, I picked up on the "mate".

Do you suspect (s)he is more than a mate?

[LoftyLottie]

I have been away on my own many times without Mr LL. He hasn't been away much without me though. My times away have been with good friends (female) and he would have no interest in sharing the experience. I have friends both in the UK and overseas that I love to visit.

I also spent a month or two in Brunei and Australia visiting friends and my Aunt. He had no problem whatsoever with that. He probably enjoys the peace and quiet when I am not around. Seeing that we have been married for 40 years, our times apart have done no harm

I loved going away by myself.

[jno]

tit for tat is treating the children as pawns in the game; I'd not go down that road at all.

[ummmm]

I'm sure if she suspected that she would have put it in her question.

[LoftyLottie]

You are right jno. I hadn't thought about the kids and to be honest I would never have put my child into that situation. In fact, the only times I went away on my own when Master LL was a child was work related and fortunately Mr LL was able to take leave.

[China Doll]

Quite possibly ummmm... but I've seen questions on here when people haven't actually initially posted about their worst fear (which was in the subtext of question) or what the real issue is because it's as if by voicing (so to speak) that, it makes it more real.

[netibiza]

Agree with Lottie. My husband had to nip to England several times when his mother became seriously ill, and I didn't mind but it was awful being left to go to an outside bathroom in the night with young child being scared omuggers who may have got into the garden! he goes off every year on a golf trip and that's lovely for us both and I always go to Englangland on my own to see my sisters and he doesn't mind, as we discuss it all first.

[merciasounds]

I just thought it was a bit odd the way Garnier put "mate" - like she'd never heard of the person before

[ummmm]

True - but it could also put something in her head that wasn't there to start with.

[Garnier]

He went today China doll.
Atleast I feel that I havent overreacted.

[ummmm]

I'm being nosey....where has he gone?

[Garnier]

No I don't think he is having an affair. His Mate is a guy who doesn't like me. ( never found out why). He is single, 40 ish, and has never had a girlfriend. Now forgive me but I actually think he may be a closet gay. He spends a lot of time with OH but that doesn't bother me at all.

I had to nip out earlier so just read all your answers. Thank you everyone for your opinions. really helped.

[Ric.ror]

As I said tell him in advance then when / if he does say anything you can I always say you gave him plenty of warning