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Update to "without anybody stating the obvious"....
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Well I did indeed confront him last night with the statement - he looked so stunned that he didnt even think to ask why it was open. composed himself very quickly then said it was towards his daughters future, then when i said why he has never once put money away weekly in the last 8 years, then chooses the exact month we got into dire financial worries he just wouldnt answer. Just kept repeating he could do what he likes for his daughter with his money. But you know that certain people do a specific thing when they are lying, like not looking you in the eye, or a nervous cough etc, well he has a specific thing that he does and he was difinitely lying. Havent a clue where to go from here now : (
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.aww thankyou pusskin. I was just going to post an update anyway. Well, up until this morning he hadnt uttered a single word to me since "the chat". I was getting so miserable. Then thir morning I thought I would try a different approach. I decided to ask him if he still wanted this marriage to work. If the answer was gona be no then I didnt need to ask anymore . He said yes he did. i asked on a scale on 1 to 10. He said 10. So then I asked again about the money. He swore its for his daughter and its in her regular account as she is barely here and never touches the account anyway. ( the past 3 contacts have been cancelled by the mother). so he says he wants her to know that he is providing for her future. I said well i want to put the same amount away for my son. He said if it comes ourt of my own money. I said ok. Sooo not sure if i have resolved much but its a step forward - I think!
You lot have been so briliant. Yes the mother even cancelled yesterdays pick up for half term saying she was taking the daugher away, even though his court order states he is to have her. He isnt even able to speak to her. For some odd reason the girl will not even ring her father when she is with her mother so he hasnt been able to speak to her since August. So, as for me putting money away for my son out of my own money, well its still the same as coming out of our bank isnt it?? lol. But I guess in his head it means im doing it and not him. ie if the money for his child came outt of our joint bank then it wouldnt be just him providing, it would be me as well. Anyway, i do feel a bit better : )
I know, i was getting a bit freaked over the love child scenario! Anyway, me thinks you cant change a person over night so slowly slowly catchee monkey, (in getting him to open up a bit more). Son wnt out yesterday with friend, and so, over glass of wine I sat down and said to him that when he is very secretive it amakes me think the worst and he should try and be a bit more open with me. Dont know if it did any good but at least I was saying how I felt while we were both calm. And thankyou for being so nice : )
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