Protecting Personal Space

[bpjcf]

The changing room at work is quite small, & the person whose locker faces mine has often started using his locker before I have finished changing. There is really not enough space for 2, & he has often put his stuff on top of mine, & ended up touching me. All this makes me feel very uncomfortable, being pressured to hurry up in a confined space. Also, on 2 occasions in the kitchen, he has bumped into the back of me when I was geting stuff out of the fridge. The other day, he accused me of being passive agressive when I moved out of the way following another brush & made a verbal protest. When he asked if there was a problem, I mentioned the personal space issue. he responded that if anything I was invading his, how much space did I need, taking up so much of the bench. How dare I "make noises". His "diagnosis" followed my pointing out that i was clearly finishing up, just needing a minute or 2, but moved so as to avoid it escalating. I have mentioned this to my manager, who will keep an eye on it. Any similar experiences or advice?

[woofgang]

"True objectivity is free of anger & value judgements"

Indeed bpjcf but the young lady is a teenager.....

[Sharingan]

I suggested you both chilled out, good advice in my opinion. That is not hostile or bigoted or anything else, it's good advice for the real world. People frequently bunt me, close my space down, touch me, shove me, talk over me, but that is what life is like. Of course you can choose to ask them not to do it, that's an obvious solution, but that in my opinion is likely to make an issue where there really isn't a big one to start with, and turn it into something far more damaging. I always try to rate issues on a scale of 1-10, so far apart from one scenario where someone intentionally ran over my brother, I have never got past an 8. It puts the smaller things into perspective. I hope you get sorted out with your issues with this person since it worries you so much, but preorting people who are trying to help you will only alienate you from people who don't wish you harm. xx

[bpjcf]

There have been no developments at work, other than my manager saying that she will take matters further if his behaviour continues.
As for the unfortunate reporting of magsmay, I did not do this, & do not understand how she came to be reported. I have written to the moderators as indicated above to try to make ammmends. I feel very bad that someone whose efforts on my behalf I really appreciated could be hurt like that, & I am still watching the thread in the hope that she will see this & know that I never had any ill intent towards her.

[Sharingan]

Woofgang I always try to make my advice non judgemental and anger free, and certainly in this situation I did imho, but people have to exist in the real world and this to me is a mountain out of a molehill, and to several other users too whose responses have also been deleted and who are not teenagers.

[B00]

"I have written to the moderators as indicated above to try to make ammmends."

Just to clarify, you've emailed (I assume?) Ed & the techies, not the moderators.

[bpjcf]

fair enough, I stand corrected

[MadMen]

Honestly, stop fretting about magsmay. She only had one comment removed, I'm sure she doesn't mind, and realises it was not you that reported her...

Well I suppose there's not much more you can do about the situation then, bpjcf. Just try and avoid your colleague and, if he does get back up in your face, stand your ground and tell him to back off a bit.

[bpjcf]

Madmen, thank you for that, & thank you for asking.

[MadMen]

S'ok. I know how you feel :-)

Good luck with it all.

[Svejk]

How very annoying.
In reply to the OP's post this morning calling people trolls & reporting said trolls I merely said; if you ask for advice, you might not like all the advice you're given. Calling people trolls & reporting them reinforced my view she was the one with the problem.
Hey-ho, my post was deleted (no doubt after being reported)
What's going on around here lately. Are we only allowed to agree with OP's (no matter how flakey)
Have we got a rogue mod who thinks their job is to delete any- thing & everything that gets reported.

[craft1948]

As mods don't see reports I don't see how they delete reported things........

[Svejk]

Well, in that case, Craft, we have one who makes independently idiotic decisions, imo.

[craft1948]

If you have a problem with site moderation perhaps you should email the Ed................

[Svejk]

I'm not the only one, lately, Craft.
Isn't e-mailing the Ed a waste of time?
Anyway, don't take this as a personal attack, cos its not.;-)
Its just so frustrating having respectable posts removed.
Especially considering some of the stuff passed by the Censor on here.

[Quizmonkey]

Sharingan - true words of wisdom: your replies are a breath of fresh air here! It would seem fairly obvious to anyone, even without any professional counselling experience (which I have, incidentally), that the original poster has issues of scale and exaggeration. His original post hints at this, and all his subsequent posts (especially the beating himself up over getting people deleted - was he actually self-flagellating at the time, one wonders?) show a serious tendency to blow things out of proportion. None of this is criticism - it is pure but balanced opinion of the situation, given all the evidence.