I'm Pregnant, Do I Tell My Boyfriend About The Abortion?

[hil12399]

After feeling ill for a week or so, i found out the shock today that I'm pregnant. I still haven't told anyone. I feel i can't tell my mum because she joked about it when i was sick for the first time, i feel she would just view it as irresponsible. I've already booked an appointment for the termination as having a baby is just not an option for my or my boyfriend at the moment. He's in the middle of his second year exams at University, so he's lives two hours away during term time and he's in the middle of his Exams. He's been through an abortion before with a previous girlfriend and he's told me how effected he was by it. We've been together for nearly 2 years now, i love him with all my heart and would love to have children with him, but now is just not the right time. I'm just not sure who to tell.. i can't decide which would be worse for him, going through it all again and potentially failing his exams or one day finding out i did it without him. I just don't know if i would be able to live with not telling him, i don't want it to affect things in the future. Any advice?

[murraymints]

Very difficult..I'd want him to know , but wait 'till exams are over if time allows...not a decision to make lightly without considering all your options, speak to your gp or look out a pregnancy advisory body..do you have a well woman clinic or brook advisory centre ? ...I couldn't live in guilty silence...you need to share before you break ! Good luck whatever you decide to do xx

[New Judge]

Tell him and tell him asap. Sod him and his exams. It's the second time he has impregnated a woman with little regard for the consequences and it's about time he shared responsibility for your joint actions. At present (and if you don't tell him) it's only you who will suffer the consequences.

Obviously the first termination that he "went through" must have been far more traumatic for him than it was for his previous partner. Seems like he's got it all to endure again, poor soul.

[whiskeryron]

kvalidir,I do so wish it was in my power to award you Best Answer, I agree absolutely with you & your opinion, I'm afraid these days there are far too many people who are shocked by pregnancies that in my opinion should never happen if only sensible precautions are taken.

[pearlz42]

Hil, I honestly believe you need to tell your boyfriend. He was part of the creation so he has the right to be in the solution. Dont get stressed and take it easy, because I think abortion should be the last option out of many. Tell you boyfriend and make the descion TOGETHER. Perhaps try talking to your mum and see what she advises you to do. No one has the right to blame you or call you irresponsible because what has happened has happended and now there's a life at stake. Tell your boyfriend at the right time dont dump it on him if he's stressed or having a bad day. If you really loved him you will tell him, but just remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I wish the best happy ending ;)

[RATTER15]

If you have any respect and love for your boyfriend you will tell him straight away!! He needs to be a part of your solution.