How Do I Move On From A 7 Year Relationship And We Have 2 Kids?

[lsharp]

we have 2 children who are 2 and 5 and have been seperated for quite a while now, he has recently got with a new girlfriend and im finding it difficult that he has moved on seeing him happy etc, we got on fine until he met her and now we r at each others throats!!! he adores the kids and finds alot of time for them but i just cant get over him, i imagine silly things like him getting her pregnant and them intimately etc its wrong and i no theres no going back as some things he did were wrong and i dont want him back just find it hard that he moves on any advice would be great xx

[murraymints]

remember the reasons you separated in the first place !..think of the not so good times and not the rose tinted memories of what you once had...

[Sqad]

\\\i dont want him back just find it hard that he moves on any advice would be great xx\\\\

Yeah! get a bloke.

[B00]

" i dont want him back"

And yet you resent him moving on.....hardly fair is it?

[2sp_]

It must be so much harder when you have kids together, you can't just cut him out of your life.

Focus on your children and what they need, and as MM says, keep reminding yourself of why you split up in the first place.

[anneasquith]

very difficult even though you do not want him in your life, a bit like a bereavement. lets hope he continues to be a good father, you may think it's bad now. but '' things'' will improve,, good luck.

[joeluke]

'don't want him back'.......sounds like you still hold a candle for him and are jealous of his new relationship

Move on and find yourself a man

[lsharp]

why is there always people on here that have to be nasty!! i didnt ask for sarcatic comments! and yea a full time mum can really go "find a bloke" nothing will replace how i feel, i wouldnt go back with him due to the constant arguing etc but my feelings for him are still strong and it was a 5 min wonder he was part of my life for 7 years!!

[anneasquith]

I agree '' find a man/bloke will not help how you are feeling. but you will get great joy from your children, there may well be a future for you with someone else, but your 'family unit' is destroyed.

[murraymints]

iSH..he will continue to play a role in your life as he is father to your children, but you must move on now as he has or you will become very bitter, you tried, it did not work...as I said, think of the reasons why it did not work...you need to try and move and mix in new circles now and not live in the shadow of what once was..good luck ! x

[mazie]

My Daughter had the same Isharp, she has 3 children. Her youngest was 4 months when he left. He lives the other side of the World (he went back home). It's very hard but given time you'll be fine and accept that the family is You and the Children. Be strong and please don't be in a hurry to look for a substitute. You will move on, xx

[Butterbun]

1sharp, I hope one day you will look back on this as a period in your life that gave you your two children. You will get over this in time, and sometime it does take a little time. Some people may not realise that you just don't go out and find someone else as if there's a line waiting. When you meet someone special, and I hope one day you do, he will help you forget and get over this pain. Try not to be jealous of your ex. He's entering another phase of his life and it's always easier for a man. Women are left with the children so it's not as straightforward for them. Keep it civil for the sake of the children. Sending you a hug, you sound as if you need one.

[lsharp]

thank you so much for your kind words, i sound like a right silly woman lol but its nice to know that there are people who understand how although i dont see a future anymore for us its still hard seeing him with someone else....i just wish he wouldnt change so much though he has become a different person since he has been with the new gf, who i forgot to mention i used to be friends with!!

[murraymints]

big hugs xx

[mazie]

Awww.. I hope it all works out well for you and the children, I'm sure it will. Forget him for the moment and start sorting out a really lovely Christmas for you and the Kids... Start your own little rituals for Christmas morning and try and be happy. He left you with two very special little people x

[lsharp]

mazie....i am trying to make xmas the best so far and i will be surrounded by my family all day which is good, i no they say time is a healer and i really hope it is..some days im fine and we argue and i actually feel like i hate him other days i just cry because we are able to get on and sit down and talk etc its just hard when theres now a 3rd person who thinks she has the right to interfere...im in no rush to find another man if it happens then all well and good!!

[mazie]

It's so much harder for you than it was for my Daughter Isharp... Her ex... peed off back to Caymen.... I do really feel for you and I hope you can be strong for the 3 of you. Good Luck Love x

[lsharp]

sometimes i wish he would just *** off to the otherside of the world lol least i wouldnt have to see him! xx

[lsharp]

i didnt even swear then lol!

[mazie]

I know, makes it so much harder for you. My Daughter hated it at first that she had no support from him. She then came to realise it was the best thing that could have happened. He went home to see his Mum and Dad when is new Daughter was a month old. He spent the entire 2 weeks with his Ex..... It Broke my Daughters heart. However, 5 and a bit years on, she's still on her own, strong, happy and has 3 amazing children that adore her.... You will get there

[lsharp]

aww thats lovely mazie im glad it all worked out well for your daughter, i am staying as strong as i can be so hopefully i will get better day by day, i just think with xmas coming up and our childrens birthdays its times we should be together for them but its all different...when you have had the same routine for 7 years it really throws you xx