ChatterBank0 min ago
My son and his lady friends
50 Answers
My son Tim, is 24, very good looking, an absolute charmer when it comes to sales and marketing. He can sell anything, get anyone to sign anything, just with his smile and his cheeky banter, as long as they are girls that is!
Thing is, whilst being a nice lad that i am very proud of, when it comes to relationships he is terrible, he cannot normally bare to hurt or upset anyone, until he has a drink, then he will set his sights on the nearest female and usually ends up having breakfast with them. He was once stuck with no money in devon and he told me he had to sleep with a fat bird to get a bed for the night!. His success rate for one nighters is better than his success rate for being faithful to his girlfriends. We are expecting his third child from the last of three girl, all of which he has cheated on. please don't bother telling me what a t**t he is, i know more about it than you do and i have no illusions about what his behaviour amounts to. I do know that he is wracked with guilt when he does these things he also makes promises to the one nighter that he can't keep, so it goes on. I have tried to talk him into sorting himself out, that works until he has a drink, and most of the girls he goes with know what he is like and don't care as long as he gives them some attention.
I am sure this is not a unique situation but i wish i knew what to do with him!
Apart from this side of him he is a real good lad and very popular, but for how long will this last?
Thing is, whilst being a nice lad that i am very proud of, when it comes to relationships he is terrible, he cannot normally bare to hurt or upset anyone, until he has a drink, then he will set his sights on the nearest female and usually ends up having breakfast with them. He was once stuck with no money in devon and he told me he had to sleep with a fat bird to get a bed for the night!. His success rate for one nighters is better than his success rate for being faithful to his girlfriends. We are expecting his third child from the last of three girl, all of which he has cheated on. please don't bother telling me what a t**t he is, i know more about it than you do and i have no illusions about what his behaviour amounts to. I do know that he is wracked with guilt when he does these things he also makes promises to the one nighter that he can't keep, so it goes on. I have tried to talk him into sorting himself out, that works until he has a drink, and most of the girls he goes with know what he is like and don't care as long as he gives them some attention.
I am sure this is not a unique situation but i wish i knew what to do with him!
Apart from this side of him he is a real good lad and very popular, but for how long will this last?
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by topogigo. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
Tiny e,a, no snide comments, rather a direct attack on your obvious lack of communication skills. you are quite clearly not a people person, you advocate not having an honest and open relationship with my son, and you have the nerve to patronise me "quite endearing", you let yourself right in to room marked "Holier Than Though".
I have allowed my friend who is a Pastor to read this thread, he said "Their are sometimes those that find it difficult to deal with reality and the issues it involves".
Your self righteousness probably procludes you from counting yourself in that category, let me assure you were the headline act.
If your powers of comprehension were as adept as obvious fear of intimacy , you would have gleaned from my reply that he told me this girl was hassling him, he didn't stop in the middle of the sexual act to ask for a few pointers. He text me to tell me he was ok but he was being hit on by someone akin to a cave troll.
As for telling me what my son is, you are only echoing, if for a different reason, clearly just to have another go, what i had already said about my son, loving him dearly at the same time. What's your excuse?
Don't imagine that i feel any better for pointing this out to you, seeing as you obviously don't give a crap about anyone else, looking better than a bigot is not much of an accolade.
Ebbs. Thank you, i am glad that someone sees the value of communication, however hard the details may be. He is a real nice lad, i worry that he will lose what good he has done whilst he is solving these issues, worrying and accepting your children was clearly defined in the brochure when you had them. Ta!
I have allowed my friend who is a Pastor to read this thread, he said "Their are sometimes those that find it difficult to deal with reality and the issues it involves".
Your self righteousness probably procludes you from counting yourself in that category, let me assure you were the headline act.
If your powers of comprehension were as adept as obvious fear of intimacy , you would have gleaned from my reply that he told me this girl was hassling him, he didn't stop in the middle of the sexual act to ask for a few pointers. He text me to tell me he was ok but he was being hit on by someone akin to a cave troll.
As for telling me what my son is, you are only echoing, if for a different reason, clearly just to have another go, what i had already said about my son, loving him dearly at the same time. What's your excuse?
Don't imagine that i feel any better for pointing this out to you, seeing as you obviously don't give a crap about anyone else, looking better than a bigot is not much of an accolade.
Ebbs. Thank you, i am glad that someone sees the value of communication, however hard the details may be. He is a real nice lad, i worry that he will lose what good he has done whilst he is solving these issues, worrying and accepting your children was clearly defined in the brochure when you had them. Ta!
Topogigo. Im a 28 year old woman and your son sounds like a normal bloke to me. Just because he sleeps around doesn't mean he is a bad person, its a shame he is fathering children left right and centre though. I would suggest he hoods up until he is living with a girl he can trust.
I know a stunner of a guy, in sales too. He could charm the pants off anyone. He is 30 now and starting to calm down, he is looking for different things in life and yep he has a lot of women but how many guys wouldn't have given their looks. I know it would be embarrassing for you both but just keep stuffing johnnies in his hand everytime you see him.
I think given the fact that he doesn't want to upset anyone lets you know hes generally a good bloke.
I know a stunner of a guy, in sales too. He could charm the pants off anyone. He is 30 now and starting to calm down, he is looking for different things in life and yep he has a lot of women but how many guys wouldn't have given their looks. I know it would be embarrassing for you both but just keep stuffing johnnies in his hand everytime you see him.
I think given the fact that he doesn't want to upset anyone lets you know hes generally a good bloke.
Ill just echo what ebbs said, I think its wonderful he can be open with you. That he knows you will love him through his faults. I said only last night on another thread so many children hide their faults from their parents because they are told this is wrong and you cant do that and they get into worse trouble because of it.
Again though, shower him with condoms!! What is wrong with people and not using them these days.
Again though, shower him with condoms!! What is wrong with people and not using them these days.
it's a shame he goes around fathering children - he must have an instinct for finding women who can't be bothered with contraception. It's not the responsibility of one party only. Does he take on paternal responsibilities? It's good he has a decent relationship with you, but will he carry it on with his own children? Or will he just pass on a susceptibility to drink?
Thats no problem. It's hardly breaking news that a 24 year old bloke can be a bit of a t0sser when it comes to getting laid. They are all someones son.
Never trust a girl that says she is on the pill. Seriously I wouldnt. Unless you can feel a contraceptive implant in her arm he should assume she is unprotected against pregnancy. And euwwwwwww if they'll drop their knickers with no rubber for your son its not the first and its not the last time. Yukkkk!!!
Never trust a girl that says she is on the pill. Seriously I wouldnt. Unless you can feel a contraceptive implant in her arm he should assume she is unprotected against pregnancy. And euwwwwwww if they'll drop their knickers with no rubber for your son its not the first and its not the last time. Yukkkk!!!
I really don't know why you have taken such offence to me, I really don't think my original answer was bad.
My first point was something along the lines of, 'I'd tell him I'm not interested in the gory details'. How this leads you to the conclusion that I have an 'obvious lack of communication skills', am advocating 'not having an honest and open relationship' with your son, that I am someone unable to 'deal with reality and the issues it involves', and that mine and any friend children I advise will probably not beable to cope, I really don't know. By 'gory details' I was merely suggesting that you do not need to know every single person he may have sex with, including that 'he had to sleep with a fat bird to get a bed for the night'.
My second point was that he should get himself aquainted with a packet of condoms. I really don't consider this an unreasonable point to make considering the details you have given us in your original question.
So how these two points, that were made by others, aswell as myself, warranted a 'direct attack on (my) obvious lack of communication skills' I don't know. You singled me out for attack even though others were originally as, if not more critical than I was, and that really doesn't seem fair to me.
Perhaps you are someone who tries to bully other people when you yourself feel out of control. Well, whatever you are, I suspect you are also quite a nasty piece of work and therefore you words mean nothing to me. You don't know me and your hysterical accusations about who I am and how incapable I am of forming open, honest relationships are based on nothing but your own anger at someone who has dared to criticise your much loved son.
My first point was something along the lines of, 'I'd tell him I'm not interested in the gory details'. How this leads you to the conclusion that I have an 'obvious lack of communication skills', am advocating 'not having an honest and open relationship' with your son, that I am someone unable to 'deal with reality and the issues it involves', and that mine and any friend children I advise will probably not beable to cope, I really don't know. By 'gory details' I was merely suggesting that you do not need to know every single person he may have sex with, including that 'he had to sleep with a fat bird to get a bed for the night'.
My second point was that he should get himself aquainted with a packet of condoms. I really don't consider this an unreasonable point to make considering the details you have given us in your original question.
So how these two points, that were made by others, aswell as myself, warranted a 'direct attack on (my) obvious lack of communication skills' I don't know. You singled me out for attack even though others were originally as, if not more critical than I was, and that really doesn't seem fair to me.
Perhaps you are someone who tries to bully other people when you yourself feel out of control. Well, whatever you are, I suspect you are also quite a nasty piece of work and therefore you words mean nothing to me. You don't know me and your hysterical accusations about who I am and how incapable I am of forming open, honest relationships are based on nothing but your own anger at someone who has dared to criticise your much loved son.
Although, you are right that at present I wouldn't make a wonderful mother, I as yet do not have children of my own as I do not feel that I am quite old enough to be the best mum that I will be capable of being in the future. I am 24, and knowing that I do not feel ready to have children yet, I have been responsible enough to avoid pregnancy.
888Sally888, You are obviously worried at the prospect of being wrong. You do not know my son, you probably don't know your daughters as well as i know him, being so up your own ar*e as you seem to be, you think it is all right to make out your daughters are something special, i am sure they are, so is my son, i wouldn't lie about my son and his ways good or bad no more than i would expect you to.
I asked people not to start slagging off my son, if you wanted to answer my question, tell me what i can do about his wrong doing, don't just take the opportunity to have a go at him how constructive is that?
tiny e.a, go lose some weight or what ever is mucking your head up and go and get some.
I asked people not to start slagging off my son, if you wanted to answer my question, tell me what i can do about his wrong doing, don't just take the opportunity to have a go at him how constructive is that?
tiny e.a, go lose some weight or what ever is mucking your head up and go and get some.
Well I just returned to this thread and on balance I stick by my original answer. Reading between the lines it seems to me that you are really saying:
- I love my son I must therefore fabricate a question so that I can tell everyone on AB how wonderful he is
- My son is a god like being with stunning looks the body of Adonis, I'm so proud that I must tell everyone.
- No femail can resist his charms, they will drop their knickers in a trance like state and allow themselves to be impregnated.
- My son is so desireable to women that women actively pursue him in the hope that they may be one of the fortunate femails to be chosen to bear his seed.
- My son is so charming that employers form a queue to hire him and his talents.
- The world must be sold about the demi god that is my son.
did I miss anything?
- I love my son I must therefore fabricate a question so that I can tell everyone on AB how wonderful he is
- My son is a god like being with stunning looks the body of Adonis, I'm so proud that I must tell everyone.
- No femail can resist his charms, they will drop their knickers in a trance like state and allow themselves to be impregnated.
- My son is so desireable to women that women actively pursue him in the hope that they may be one of the fortunate femails to be chosen to bear his seed.
- My son is so charming that employers form a queue to hire him and his talents.
- The world must be sold about the demi god that is my son.
did I miss anything?
I don't know why everyone is so perplexed that someone loves his/her child; it happens quite often among parents, including me, and it doesn't stop as soon as they're out of nappies. Love doesn't stop you worrying about the child's foolish behaviour and asking if there's anything you can do to stop it. Sadly, when he's that age, I don't think there is. For what it's worth, it sounds as if the problem is drink, not sex, but that's something he will have to acknowledge and confront himself.
This will sort itself out. He will soon reach a point where he is spending a fortune in maintenance payments for all these children that he will not be able to afford to get pi55ed and father more. I am assuming that he is paying the mothers' child support. I am surprised that the golden boy has time to go out now if he has 3 children already He is facing up to his responsibilites as a parent isn't he?
topogigo, like I have said, your insults are completely meaningless to me. The fact that you have now resulted to playground bullying tactics with taunts about weight and 'getting some' is frankly laughable. These words are intended to hurt me, and yet why would they? They have absolutely no validation! They are just the derisions of a childish man who can't think of a decent reply to what I have said. The fact that you have resorted to trying such tactics only serves to completely discredit any reasonable points you may have made up to this point and confirm my earlier suspicions that you are a nasty piece of work.
I have been reading over some of your past posts, I really don't like getting into silly rows on here and feel genuinely bad if I have caused someone offence, so I wanted to see if perhaps this clash was unnecessary and that you are really a nice bloke who I had completely misinterpreted. If I had found that to be the case I would have withdrawn my earlier answers and apologised for any hurt I may have caused you.
However, I found that you are someone who seems to enjoy posing inflammatory questions with the express aim of antagonising women who you can then be abusive and dergogatory towards in the hope of hurting them and making them feel bad if they dare to differ in opinion from you.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question433008.html
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion353379.html
While I do believe your love and concern for your son in this post are genuine (and admirable), I also suspect you posted this in the hope that you could get into a row with a woman who you knew would probably criticise what you w
I have been reading over some of your past posts, I really don't like getting into silly rows on here and feel genuinely bad if I have caused someone offence, so I wanted to see if perhaps this clash was unnecessary and that you are really a nice bloke who I had completely misinterpreted. If I had found that to be the case I would have withdrawn my earlier answers and apologised for any hurt I may have caused you.
However, I found that you are someone who seems to enjoy posing inflammatory questions with the express aim of antagonising women who you can then be abusive and dergogatory towards in the hope of hurting them and making them feel bad if they dare to differ in opinion from you.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/R elationships-and-Dating/Question433008.html
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion353379.html
While I do believe your love and concern for your son in this post are genuine (and admirable), I also suspect you posted this in the hope that you could get into a row with a woman who you knew would probably criticise what you w
Latest Posts
News6 mins ago
ChatterBank7 mins ago
This Will Put The Cat Amongst The...
News17 mins ago
Quizzes & Puzzles24 mins ago
