My son and his lady friends

[topogigo]

My son Tim, is 24, very good looking, an absolute charmer when it comes to sales and marketing. He can sell anything, get anyone to sign anything, just with his smile and his cheeky banter, as long as they are girls that is!
Thing is, whilst being a nice lad that i am very proud of, when it comes to relationships he is terrible, he cannot normally bare to hurt or upset anyone, until he has a drink, then he will set his sights on the nearest female and usually ends up having breakfast with them. He was once stuck with no money in devon and he told me he had to sleep with a fat bird to get a bed for the night!. His success rate for one nighters is better than his success rate for being faithful to his girlfriends. We are expecting his third child from the last of three girl, all of which he has cheated on. please don't bother telling me what a t**t he is, i know more about it than you do and i have no illusions about what his behaviour amounts to. I do know that he is wracked with guilt when he does these things he also makes promises to the one nighter that he can't keep, so it goes on. I have tried to talk him into sorting himself out, that works until he has a drink, and most of the girls he goes with know what he is like and don't care as long as he gives them some attention.
I am sure this is not a unique situation but i wish i knew what to do with him!
Apart from this side of him he is a real good lad and very popular, but for how long will this last?

[Loosehead]

Sounds like you are delighted with him.

It will last until he gets too old to be attractive to the shallow.

[topogigo]

Of course i am not you fool. He embarrases me with his behaviour, i feel physically sick when i hear what he has done.
Jesus!

[tiny e.a]

Maybe it'll stop when he's got enough women pregnant to start is own football team, or perhaps even a whole league?

If I were you I'd tell that I'm not interested in the gory details of his sex life and to keep it to himself, I would then buy him and bumper pack of condoms and explain how to use them ansd what they're for.

[redcrx]

maybe it will stop when he realises that the CSA are taking so much money out of his wages for these children that he cant afford to drink!

Does he not realise how much this must embarass and hurt you, do you get to see your grandchildren?

[4getmenot]

yer I agree with loosehead you seemed to really big him up at how he uses his goo looks and charms in his job. But thats not all he uses it in, he sounds like an idiot that obviously doesnt use contraception wisely either. I agree show him some STD leaflets

[fine,thanks]

a vasectomy and education re contraceptives.

[China Doll]

It does sound like having a drink keeps popping up as a theme in this, maybe he could cut out the booze a little.

Failing that Top it could be that he's going to have to get played himself and have his heart broken to shake him up a bit.

As long as he is paying and looking after his children then as much as it's not a way forwards I'd avocate he's not really a bad person. He will learn or he'll grow old lonely.

Good luck.

[4getmenot]

drink is no excuse. he just hides behind it.

[China Doll]

Not saying it's an excuse. Am saying that cutting it out might help.

[4getmenot]

I;d say even if he went out and didnt drink, as Soon as he is away from girlfriends whether he�s drunk or not he�d do it. I mean slept with a big girl just for a place to stay. Doesn�t he have a home?

[China Doll]

He was in Devon at the time with no money and stuck. Not condoning it, just don't think he could get home from sounds of things.

We don't know if he'd do it or not if he didn't have a drink if he doesn't try not having a drink. Top implies that when he is sober he does not like to hurt or upset anyone. So I'm deferring to Top's opinion and suggesting that cutting down on the booze might help.

[4getmenot]

Yer so ask the woman nicely if he can kip on sofa, I think she is just using anything to make him sound better. Come on everybody has used that as an excuse in their life.

[4getmenot]

I wasn�t getting on at your post, I was saying to her drink is no excuse

[topogigo]

To be honest some true words here. I am proud of him, he is my son, i am not so proud of his antics, he is a very good father though which does confuse the issue a little, as he is as good as he is bad in many ways. Although when i tell you about his good points i am not bigging him up for his bad ones, it would be unfair of me to just criticise him and not tell of his good side, you would not get a picture of how he is, had i not.
I do worry about STD's, perhaps if all the other people in the world that have ever had one, were as sensible as my son should be, then there would never be another STD, but it just doesn't seem to matter to him and a lot of others when that moment is upon them, and when they are drunk. This is where i panic when i think about his drinking, he only does it at weekend, he earns a lot of money and likes to spend it, unfortunately he does it in the wrong way, he should be jet skiing like his sister, but no his crowd are different.
No 4givemenot, he only slept with this apparently atrocious female coz he was desperate, she hassled him all night, i know coz he text me about at it the time, and he went with her to suit him and her.
Ah Tiny e.a, if you think that having limitations on communicating with your children is the way to go, then i hope your children or those of anyone you advise can cope in life without being able to let their parents know about a very large portion of their lives and feelings, and i didn't mean just sex either.

[tiny e.a]

HAHAHA!!!

Ahhh, topogigo, you're so ridiculous that it's actually quite endearing!

I suggest that if you want make snide comments about the way other people may bring up their children you don't do it on a thread inwhich you admit that you have bought up a careless, using, selfish, binge drinking, ******, father of 3 to 3 different women.

Frankly, if you're that involved with your sons sex life that he tell you which strange, fat girl he's going to sleep with of a night you are too involved.

Trying to put me down to make yourself feel better for all the criticism you got? Pathetic.

[tiny e.a]

****** was sl*tty (u instead of *)

[fine,thanks]

a son texting his mum re his sex life, someone needs to get a life ? ps you have an extremely irresponsible son, me id be ashamed.

[Ebbs]

Hey topogigo
Firstly congratulations for bringing up your son to be open and honest with you, he maybe doing things you are not proud of but at least he faces up to the outcomes of his actions.
Your story sounds very much like my brother in law except when the relationships broke down his kids got forgotten, well by him anyway not by other family members. At least your boy is doing good there.
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, your son knows it's wrong but there is nothing anyone can do it is all down to him.
Carry on being a great Mum and letting him talk to you about his actions, lets hope he'll come to his senses soon.

[888sally888]

I just hope my lovely daughters never run into a loser with no morals like him.