How to break-up

[yellowyellow]

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and have cheated on him more than once. I'm so ashamed of myself, I know that the fact it has been more than once suggests I don't give a sh*t but I do, I feel physically sick with disgust and guilt.

Since the latest time I've decided I have to break up with my boyfriend as I can no longer live with the guilt of what I'm doing. I can't tell him that I'm breaking up with him because I've cheated on him, I really can't. I couldn't bear to break his heart that way. I know I should think of these things before I do it but I haven't and I'm paying the price for it now.

My question is, can anybody advise me on how best to break up with him, other than telling him the truth? I really don't want him feeling like it's something he's done, I have to try and make him realise it's all my fault and he's wonderful but I don't know how.

Please help.

[Mc Muffin]

I agree with someguy0000, you must not be so hard on yourself. And some people on here need to realise that these things happen, not everything is so simple and the world can not be divided into good and bad people.

You just need to tell him that you need it to end. You don't need to tell him about the other guys, unless he is likely to hear it from someone else, in which case it is best if you tell him everything. There are obviously issues in your relationship that prevent you from being completely happy, but not telling him about the cheating does not constitute lying. Just do it soon, so that you can both move on.

Good luck

x

[yellowyellow]

Thanks again someguy0000, and thanks Mc Muffin, it's unbelievably comforting, whether I deserve it or not, to know that not everyone will condemn me even though I've been so awful.

[B00]

don't beat yourself up over this yellowyellow, I'm presuming you're young. I'm willing to bet half of the ones calling you weren't that bloody white when they were young either!

If you don't want to tell him you've slept with other people as a way to break up with him, then don't. All you need to say is something along the lines that whilst you care deeply for them, you just don't love them and the relationship based on just caring isn't fair on either of you.

He will be hurt, but there's no avoiding that, I don't see the need to rub salt in his wounds by admitting to past affairs.

Good luck :-)

[yellowyellow]

Thanks BOO

[blu3wave]

Just be honest with him, it's the only fair thing to do..... if there's nothing left, then why do you still want to keep hanging on? Don't beat yourself up about it, maybe he won't care so much or be all that bothered about it as it seems the relationship may have ended a long time ago for you to be going off and having affairs as maybe you werent getting the attention from him anyhow. Maybe its the guilt that's bothering you the most, not the fact that 'its over'?

[time2fly]

just tell him what a slag u r, you deserve whats coming to you and i hope he goes mad...

[andrea81]

Well for a start I wouldn't say cheating more than once is a mistake, I would say you were consious of what you were doing.... however......

I can imagine it being hard to break up with him as you abviously care about upsetting him. I think you should tell him why you are breaking-up with him, at least he wount wonder why for the rest of his life! do you think he suspects anyway?

[_josie_]

hi yellowyellow...
I have been in your shoes and i know how you feel. I think i even went on a site like this asking for the same advice! I think you know what to do (split up), but are maybe a bit afraid to do it. If i were you, i would break up with the guy saying you don't feel the same way about him etc etc... Honesty is not always the best policy. Like Boo says, there is no need to rub salt into the wounds. Dont beat yourself up over it, just recognise this and remember it for future relationships! X Good Luck! X

[steve garrar]

easy just tell you used to called brian and you cant hold it back any longer!!!!

[MarieJo]

I think it's a shame that people on here are being so abusive. yellowyellow is on here to ask for advice not to be slagged off !

I would personally finish with the boyfriend without telling him that you have cheated. He doesn't need to know and it will save his feelings.