help! confused!

[ladypink06]

I've been with my boyfriend for just over 3years now, and starting to have doubts about my feeling towards him and of us having a future together. I mean i love him to bits, but im not sure if im actually in love with him anymore, if you get what im saying.. i used to miss him soo much when we weren't around each other and constantly think about him. but now i find myself not missing him so much and can happily go all week without seeing him.. i used to ring him everynight without fail and now i can go a few days without bothering, just txting is fine by me. i know he isnt happy about this as we have discussed this, he says my feelings have changed and i dont make enough og an effort anymore... i suppose what im getting at is, has this relationship run its course or is there a chance we can work through this! will appreciate any advice! thannks x

[lightoftruth]

this is a pretty normal thing to be thinking and a lot of people i know have had similar feelings.

My advice has always been this.

If you were put in a room, and in this room there was a button which, if pressed ,would result in things going right back to way things were when they were good. Would you press it? or do you think you could infact be looking for issues in the relationship because simply put you want out?

most of the time its an issue of stagnation. Do you find your relationship has become a routine?? try going out as a couple more. It might not be a bad idea to consider trying to improve your sex life with your partner.

Just remember nothing is certain and you can CHOOSE whatever path you want.

hope this helps

[ladypink06]

lightof truth: thanks for your advice, its got me thinking! would i press the button?... i honestly dont know, part of me would like things to go back to how they were but the other part of me has doubts. im not sure if things could be the same again..

believe me our sex life is the one area that is great, never had any problems there! our general relationship is a bit of a routine tho, we seem to do the same things all the time if we go out as a couple, he doesnt really like to adventure out too much-hates the idea of maybe having to use public transport lol!

[jno]

in the long term, relationships are more about being comfortable with each other than about being constantly swept away with passion. So what you're feeling is sort of normal, and actually a good guide to the future. But as lightoftruth says: what do you actually want to do? Can you imagine life without him - just the occasional text as you might do with a friend? What would you miss about him if he wasn't there? It sounds as if your body's still with him but your mind is edging its way towards the exit. The fact that you've asked the question suggests the answer is yes, for you at least the relationship is coming to an end - and it seems he's spotted this too. You can always make an effort to revive it - but do you want to? Only you can decide.

[Whoever]

All romantic relationships change and mature over time and the initial excitement gradually dies down and melds into a comfortable friendship and companionship, even though the romance never really dies. . The question for you is " Has this relationship melded in this way or has it slowly changed into boredom and habit?" Can you honestly put your hand on your heart and say "this is the person I still want to spend the rest of my life with? We are compatible, enjoy each other's company and I can't imagine life without him" If you can't honestly admit this, then perhaps it's time to recognise that you may have moved on emotionally. But