Am I making the right choice?

[Jamie29]

I've lived with my g/f for a few years. We've got 4 kids at home. When we met I was all up for the wedding lark. Truest thing anyone ever said to me was, 'you don't know someone until you live with them.' I love her, but (and there's always a 'but') at times I've been subjected to domestic violence. Sure someone's going to post I'm a plum for letting her hit me. I just don't hit women. I've left her a few times, but always went back for the children. Why should I be the one who misses out on playtime and kissing them goodnight, because she can't control her temper? I moved back in last night and swore it's the last time I walk away. None of my family or close mates think I should be there anymore. I can't desert my children. I'm responsible for them, so why does it have to come down to living in fear at times just to be with them?

[4getmenot]

I'm not sure on the making her leave there is a good law section on here maybe ask there. And dont think that all relationships are bad, they arent. x

[Jamie29]

I'm leaving work soon and even now I'm programmed to not be late for fear of her temper. I appreciate every reply and promise to keep you updated. Thanks to those who offered to chat privately. I know she's the one who should go, but thinking that here and getting her to leave are two different things. One thing's for sure, we need time apart.

[leelapops]

OK Jamie, I hope tonight isn't too bad. It is horrible to live on such a knife-edge, no?

Believe me, once you have had some time to reassess things, and re-discover your own self, and not the person you have had to change into for your partner, you will feel much stronger.

4get is right, witnesses would be great, but I guess there aren't many, bar the kids.

Anyway, I hope you manage to make some space for yourself. Thinking of you x

[gonzo00]

there's a saying that applies here jamie...i'd never hit a lady..but i'll beat a bitch if i have to.if a woman acts like a man then treat her like one.

[helliebobs]

My god I just read through all this and feel dreadful for poor jamie! Anyone else feel like they wish they could help in some way? Jamie I can only echo what everyone else has said on here. I hope you sort things, you deserve so much more and you seem like a lovely bloke. Let us know how things go. x

[4getmenot]

jamie how are you today, what happened lastnight when you got home?

[Jamie29]

Not so good but thanks for asking. After leaving work, phoned home, told her I had a last minute meeting then went to a mate's house. Phoned my parents, asked them to fetch the kids at 8. I got home not long after 7. No hassle until they arrived then she goes crazy. Just verbal stuff in front of my parents, she's not that daft. My eldest screamed non stop. I can still hear her. Got them all in the car and knowing they were safe I went to pack her a bag. Course that's when the trouble starts. Battered and bruised for the last time. Counts for something. She's gone from my home.

[4getmenot]

Well thats the first step but that wont be the last you hear from her. Are you able to look after the children full time or do you have help? So were your parents witnesses?

[helliebobs]

Glad you got things started jamie, good on you for making those first steps. I think you have the support of everyone on here, if that means anything.
x

[Jamie29]

I'll get help for the little ones. My parents only witnessed the verbal abuse but that was bad enough. My sister's seen the physical cuts and bruises. She came over to clean me up. Saw my children early this morning. The little ones are fine but the eldest isn't doing so good. They're home with me tonight. Little bit of guilt's starting to creep in. I didn't hurt her even when I shoved her out the door. It's hard to digest removing their mother. What do I tell them?

[4getmenot]

How old are they all?

[Jamie29]

I've gone to PM for the more private things about the kids. Thanks to all of you who are helping me out in there. Means a lot to me.

[4getmenot]

Have just replied. xx

[leelapops]

Oh honey, what a difficult evening for you. You were so damn brave to stand up to her, and really fight your corner, and braver still not to just flip out at her...

Glad your kids are safe....They will get over what they witnessed, in time. They just need to know you love them, and they do, I am sure of it.

Pleased she is out. Do you know where she will have gone? Have you thought about changing locks, just in case?

Lisa x

[Jamie29]

Locks are being changed this morning. I feel like an evil man doing this but needs must. I wouldn't have found the courage without reading over and over what you all posted to me. It made sense. I'm not a mug, I just love my children. I've got to protect them no matter what.

3ight8ball sometimes I'm relieved and then I feel sick and guilty. I won't back down but it's hard.

[helliebobs]

Jamie you are not evil, don't you dare put yourself down for doing this, you said it yourself, you've got to protect the kids, no matter what. And yourself.

[whiskeysheri]

Just seen and read through this post, Jamie.

Wow, well done you for being so brave! You sound like a really lovely man, and obviously we're all here if you need support. Good on you for being so strong for yourself and your children, they'll thank you for it in the long run.

Take care, hun. x x

[XFilesfan]

You ARE doing the right thing, all the luck in the world my friend, keep strong, we're all rooting for you