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Are manners important?
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http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/42676 /Why-Britain-is-so-blighted-by-bad-manners
We have always been proud of our manners. In fact we would often say sorry to a person even if it was not our fault, that they had trod on our foot.
Are manners a cultural thing, prevalent amongst the British?
Why does it seem that manners these days, are quickly flying out of the window?
We have always been proud of our manners. In fact we would often say sorry to a person even if it was not our fault, that they had trod on our foot.
Are manners a cultural thing, prevalent amongst the British?
Why does it seem that manners these days, are quickly flying out of the window?
Answers
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I think it is just common decency real. It can make the difference to wether a person has a good or bad day if some one shows manners and politness.
It's a bit like driving as to wether you display manners. Some people are just to ignorant or lazy or just plain think they don't have to signal at a roundabout while driving. The same can be said for manners. Some people are lazy, some don't ever learn any and some think they are so important that they should be shown manners by others but never have to display them themsleves.
Most youngsters today have never been taught the manners that were important to my generation. Some have but don't see why they should because the older generation sometimes don't uses them either.
Respect gets respect.
It's a bit like driving as to wether you display manners. Some people are just to ignorant or lazy or just plain think they don't have to signal at a roundabout while driving. The same can be said for manners. Some people are lazy, some don't ever learn any and some think they are so important that they should be shown manners by others but never have to display them themsleves.
Most youngsters today have never been taught the manners that were important to my generation. Some have but don't see why they should because the older generation sometimes don't uses them either.
Respect gets respect.
I have made sure that all 3 of my children learned to be polite.I insisted they use manners at home and when out and about.When my two eldest were little my neighbour referred to them as the snobs as they were so well mannered. I agree with tigerlily,it all comes down to laziness on the part of those who don't use manners.
Manners have gone out of the window most definitely and it's across the board. Older people aren't any more polite. Society seems to have shifted into a want, want, want state and everyone seems to be out for what they can get. It makes me laugh that people think they are going to get anywhere the way they speak to people who work in shops etc.
I worked in pubs and because it was licensed premised and I had to be strict because of being a parish council our license was hanging by a thread, I could be as rude to people as necessary to get them stop them smoking in certain areas, etc etc Then I went to work for an American company where no matter what the customer was doing you had to smile and bare it. If they didn't like something you would accommodate them as best as you could and no matter how nice you were people were just plain rude and funnily enough the most polite were often the kids who attended the supposedly rough schools.
I worked in pubs and because it was licensed premised and I had to be strict because of being a parish council our license was hanging by a thread, I could be as rude to people as necessary to get them stop them smoking in certain areas, etc etc Then I went to work for an American company where no matter what the customer was doing you had to smile and bare it. If they didn't like something you would accommodate them as best as you could and no matter how nice you were people were just plain rude and funnily enough the most polite were often the kids who attended the supposedly rough schools.
I believe good manners are one of the cornerstones of certain cultures - the Southern states of America, Japan, Eire - these are the places I've noticed people with excellent manners - old fashioned politeness.
IMO there are quite a few reasons why manners/politeness seem to be on the wane - the example set by parents, the actions of our sporting and cultural celebrities and the increase in 'impersonalisation' (a word I've just made up). Have a look at people on the tube in London - they barely acknowledge each other's existance - they are plugged into their iPod/Soduko/newspapers etc.
However, all is not hopeless...if you ever see a woman struggling with a large suitcase at the bottom of stairs on the tube, within seconds a man will help.
Pregnant women are (generally) offered a seat and women with buggies are allowed on first.
IMO there are quite a few reasons why manners/politeness seem to be on the wane - the example set by parents, the actions of our sporting and cultural celebrities and the increase in 'impersonalisation' (a word I've just made up). Have a look at people on the tube in London - they barely acknowledge each other's existance - they are plugged into their iPod/Soduko/newspapers etc.
However, all is not hopeless...if you ever see a woman struggling with a large suitcase at the bottom of stairs on the tube, within seconds a man will help.
Pregnant women are (generally) offered a seat and women with buggies are allowed on first.
I think Manners have to be put into catagories, eg, as sp says, you often see people helping others, (there are exception of course).
My bugbear is swearing, its entered the mainsream of chat, and its terrible, 'Human Rights' 'I can say what I want, when I want', and thats not the case.
Manners are taught at home, I blame the parents for acting like they haven't grown up, and acting like their children.
My bugbear is swearing, its entered the mainsream of chat, and its terrible, 'Human Rights' 'I can say what I want, when I want', and thats not the case.
Manners are taught at home, I blame the parents for acting like they haven't grown up, and acting like their children.
I totally agree with you there Lonnie.
A day never goes by without hearing the F word somewhere.
I work in a place where I hear the F word constantly.I can't stand the word,so I just tend to carry on with my work by just ignoring it as much as possible.It's not nice I must admit,but you just have to live with it I'm afraid.
When I was much younger, the F word was almost non-existent.Times have changed now though.Shame really!
Bring back the old days I say!
A day never goes by without hearing the F word somewhere.
I work in a place where I hear the F word constantly.I can't stand the word,so I just tend to carry on with my work by just ignoring it as much as possible.It's not nice I must admit,but you just have to live with it I'm afraid.
When I was much younger, the F word was almost non-existent.Times have changed now though.Shame really!
Bring back the old days I say!
Have to agree with all the points raised.
Manners are the mark of a civilised society, and they do seem to be dying out.
Courtesy is simply a nice way to oil the wheels of daily life, it's simple, it's free, but it does seem endangered, which is really sad.
Yes, American society is often OTT with its manners, but given the choice, I would rather live ina world that is over-polite than ours, which is increasinglyu aggressive and nasty.
Manners are the mark of a civilised society, and they do seem to be dying out.
Courtesy is simply a nice way to oil the wheels of daily life, it's simple, it's free, but it does seem endangered, which is really sad.
Yes, American society is often OTT with its manners, but given the choice, I would rather live ina world that is over-polite than ours, which is increasinglyu aggressive and nasty.
sp1814
Who was it that said, "it is better to offend an expectant mum, than bring a fat lady to tears"?
Regarding manners on the London tube, I coming from North of the "Watford Gap" was lead to believe London folk were very rude. Yet on one of my trips into London, a young fellow was first to jump up and offer me his seat on the tube.
Who was it that said, "it is better to offend an expectant mum, than bring a fat lady to tears"?
Regarding manners on the London tube, I coming from North of the "Watford Gap" was lead to believe London folk were very rude. Yet on one of my trips into London, a young fellow was first to jump up and offer me his seat on the tube.
Gromit, Always ready to get in with a cheap dig, and turn a sensible debate into school play ground level bitchiness.
If you were refering to me, which it seems obvious you were, since I admit I have used the word loony on more than one occasion.
But in my own defence, I was always taught to treat others as they treat one's self. You yourself are a fine example of rudeness and bitterness. Take for example your answer to this question on manners, you are the only one who has taken the opportunity to have a personal dig.
If you were refering to me, which it seems obvious you were, since I admit I have used the word loony on more than one occasion.
But in my own defence, I was always taught to treat others as they treat one's self. You yourself are a fine example of rudeness and bitterness. Take for example your answer to this question on manners, you are the only one who has taken the opportunity to have a personal dig.
Where do you get the idea from that manners are "flying out of the window"?
Whilst we may not be as polite as they are in New York we are still only half way down the league table
http://www.rd.com/family/relationships-and-sex /relationships/good-manners/article27599-2.htm l
Whilst we may not be as polite as they are in New York we are still only half way down the league table
http://www.rd.com/family/relationships-and-sex /relationships/good-manners/article27599-2.htm l
It's all a far cry from the glory days of the 70s and 80s when people knew a thing or two about good manners and honest British decency.
They were the days, alright - when proud upstanding British people would openly sneer at 'blacks' and 'Irish' and spend their free time cheering on their football team by smashing up foreign cafes and battering rival fans.
This country's gone to the dogzzzzzzzz.....
They were the days, alright - when proud upstanding British people would openly sneer at 'blacks' and 'Irish' and spend their free time cheering on their football team by smashing up foreign cafes and battering rival fans.
This country's gone to the dogzzzzzzzz.....
Good link Jake, but to be halfway down the list, is just not good enough.
Take the general decline, spitting, obscene language, abrupt service from salespersons, and we have all witnessed children taking things from their parents without a please or thank you to be heard, they are not even corrected by the said parents.
Take the general decline, spitting, obscene language, abrupt service from salespersons, and we have all witnessed children taking things from their parents without a please or thank you to be heard, they are not even corrected by the said parents.
I agree - not sure it's getting any worse though. Although aren't policemen getting younger?
Salespeople are damned if they do and damned if they don't. The same people who complain about them being curt or abrupt are often the same ones who object to being patronised by 'Your call is important to us' and 'Have a nice day.' Some people just don't like salespeople.
Salespeople are damned if they do and damned if they don't. The same people who complain about them being curt or abrupt are often the same ones who object to being patronised by 'Your call is important to us' and 'Have a nice day.' Some people just don't like salespeople.
I personally believe that good manners are always passed onto by the parents to children. Schools can only maintain what is taught to children at home in this regard. You can not expect teachers to teach kids manners at school when they themselves are the victims of harassment by the pupils and are not allowed to do any thing about that.
Two things are very essential for a better society, Training & education. Training starts soon after the child is born. Parents and specifically mother teaches kids almost everything. Whereas education starts when child has already had some training about manners at home. To sort our problems in the society, the only thing we need to sort is our Family System.
Two things are very essential for a better society, Training & education. Training starts soon after the child is born. Parents and specifically mother teaches kids almost everything. Whereas education starts when child has already had some training about manners at home. To sort our problems in the society, the only thing we need to sort is our Family System.
Please and thank you does not accomplish anything other than sway peoples opinions of you based on their own prejudices of how someone'ought' to be brought up.
How would you explain them to someone from a culture where the concept does not exist?
They are simple conventions and as such I have to say I don't think they are particularly important.
Compare this to physical actions like your example of giving up a seat to somebody on a bus (although this is somewhat fraught with danger if it's a borderline case), or holding a door for someone, or allowing someone infront of you in a line or queue of traffic.
These are small gestures to the giver but can be more important to the recipient and promote a culture where people think of others infront of themselves which is an important social glue.
Actions speak louder than words
How would you explain them to someone from a culture where the concept does not exist?
They are simple conventions and as such I have to say I don't think they are particularly important.
Compare this to physical actions like your example of giving up a seat to somebody on a bus (although this is somewhat fraught with danger if it's a borderline case), or holding a door for someone, or allowing someone infront of you in a line or queue of traffic.
These are small gestures to the giver but can be more important to the recipient and promote a culture where people think of others infront of themselves which is an important social glue.
Actions speak louder than words
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