No Sex drive : (

[sunny-girl]

Hi,

I am a 24 year old female in a 5 year relationship and I have a 2.5 year old child. I am happy, settled and content in my relationship.

The problem is I have little to no sex drive. Sometimes its because i feel physically exhausted yet other times i cant bear to be touched or kissed. When i feel like this i feel violated. I know it sounds extreme but its how i feel. Its' not all the time but happens in phases. when i don't feel like this i often have very little sex drive.

I know its not right and i need to get it sorted before our relationship falls apart. My partner has never done anything aggressive or sexually aggressive towards me to warrant me feeling this way towards him. I love him deeply and find him attractive.

Whats wrong with me? Can anyone help or suggest anything.
Thanks


S G

[Velvetee]

Hi Sunny, I don't think you are in any way unusual. Many women lose their sex drive at some point, especially after having children. Your child is still quite young and it can take months even years for that drive to return. Alot of it is probably due to being exhausted, both physically and mentally.

I'm not sure there is much that can be done, I know there aren't really any drugs to help women with this problem. (You could try Horny Goat Weed) which can be purchased from health shops, some say it works.
Also visit your GP and see if they could direct you to the kind of help you require.

[redcrx]

a baby or toddler tires out any mother so its not surprising you dont feel in the mood a lot of the time.

Are you on the pill at all? some can really affect sex drive for the better or worse, so perhaps changing that may help

[essexshazza]

hi sunny-girl, you should talk to your gp as you may be depressed or really low without realising it as mums always put how they feel last, also you may be low in testosterone, there are patches that your doc can prescribe. i hope your problem is sorted out soon. take care :-)xx

[unhappychick]

Hi Sunny-girl, I found your post interesting, and can read between the lines....you say you feel violated, I think the reason why you feel like this is because maybe you are angry with yourself, that you are too tired or cant be bothered with an intimate relationship, and as soon as your fella comes near you, a guard comes up, and deep down you know its not quite right and so in turn you are getting angry, if you know what I mean?

I dont think there is anything wrong with you, I think maybe what with the little one and the daily strains of being a parent, you have got yourself caught up in it all and are not making time for yourself and your partner as a couple.

The solution:- You need to take a bit of time out for yourself and find out who you are again, find a suitable sitter for the child and go out with your partner for the evening, have fun, and let loose a little bit...have a few glasses of wine if need be, just to help you relax a bit more as you sound very wound up! Good luck x

[lightoftruth]

what needs to be adresses is the quesion of wether you have lost intrest in even the idea of sex or just having it.

If you go yo you gp you may gt some advice but sometimes they can be a bit frustrating.

i think what u could need is to up the ante a bit. You say your feeling physically exhusted? well im making an assumption here but im assuming that your sort of " alloted time" for such things to occur is in the evening-night region. It might an idea to have your partner be more " spontaneous"

you might also want to consider really talking to your partner about your sex drive..look back into your past and you must surely have had some fantasies yet to be fulfilled.

this does need addresing as a good relationship must incorpaorate all corners of the "triangulr theory of love"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/ 2/26/Triangular_Theory_of_Love.gif

let me know if you need more advice