Am I being irritated over nothing?

[daisycup]

I've been seeing this guy for about 4.5 months now and he is beginning to irritate me. This may sound harsh but he tells me he loves/misses me about 50 times a day. Although I like being told I'm loved... this is too much. I'll leave his house and I receive a text 2 mins later saying he misses me. I get a text 7.45am each morning with the same sort of message "morning, love you, missed you" It's driving me nuts... but I feel if I'm out of order if I say its all too much. One day I received 15 texts all before 9am on the way to work - and some of the messages where like " just seen your mate walking her dog" AAUUURRRGGGHHHH... what do I say, what do I do? Constant texts/miss you/love you is driving me mad! I'm quite an independant person and like my own space and can't handle all this.

[daisycup]

No, he has never moaned if I don't text in the mornings first. He did get the hump when I wanted to go out with my mates one time, which we had a row over. He doesn't like to spend a minute alone. If I don't see him, he will invite his mate round. He is hardly ever on his own. I on the other hand love my own space... maybe we are just too different.

[Jamie29]

I've got a mate who texts his girlfriend all the time, and he's fairly possessive. None of us think she's cheating but he's convinced she is, and gets very agitated if she doesn't reply to him straight away. She finds it irritating, and I think their relationship will finish.

Daisycup, if he's irritating you so early on in the relationship, then I think it might be time to think about how suited you are to each other. Is he overly attentive when you are together?

[B00]

I'm with you daisycup- it'd get on my bloody nerves too. And at the risk of sounding like a bitch here, I'd have finished with him based on those texts alone- too needy and clingy.

Incidently- you don't have to tell someone you love them back just because they did first- next time- keep shtum when he says it ;-)

[Lakitu]

I have to agree that if he's irritating you just 4 months in, then it doesn't bode well for the future. xx

[daisycup]

Yeah he is. Hands everywhere and I feel like I can't breath sometimes. I have just received a text saying "yeah love you too" as I never said it in my last text. Seriously, its driving me insane and like you say I shouldn't feel so irritated so early on.

[Nosha123]

He gets annoyed if you dont text back you love him too!
Oh...
Will he start commenting on what you are wearing and ask you to stop putting on make up in case other men look at you!

I know it sounds awful but unless you do have really deep feelings for him I can only see him getting worse.!

[Lakitu]

That last text just confirms to me it's posession / obsession, not love, honey x

He doesn't sound like he's confident within himself before he feels he must hear/read you say you love him.

Those words are so much sweeter when they are unexpected.

[Jamie29]

Daisycup, from a guy's perspective here.........I think he's very possessive and insecure. Jealousy can stem from that, and trust me that isn't pleasant to live with.

I know we've never chatted before, but please think carefully about your future with this guy. For what it's worth, I would seriously consider ending the relationship. It will probably deteriorate and you'll end up hating each other.

[4getmenot]

See I was other way round when I first got with my bloke the texts annoyed me and his constant telling me he loved me from day one, as I couldn�t say it back that quick. But now I cant get enough of him.

[Nosha123]

Oh Lakitu you're good!!! Possession /Obseession not love....
Ask him to define the word LOVE and explain 'being in love'...

I love it when my Husband tells me he loves me.. cos he hardly ever ever says it - so when he does I know he really means it!

[Lakitu]

^ see, it makes it all the sweeter when it's unexpected xx

Good idea to ask him to define love (although I'm not sure I could put it into words myself LOL).

[Velvetee]

So Daisy, how do you feel about your loved up guy, do you really love him too?

When I met my Fiance, he was a bit over the top and practically moved in with me within a week of us starting to see each other. We saw each other everyday and I welcomed any time away from him. Like you I was very independent, I'd lived alone for years and even when I had been in longterm relationships, continued to keep my own home.

Now we are living together and about to get married, he is alot calmer in the situation. He's definitely more tactile and romantic than I am and does still gush over me alot. He still tells me he loves me everyday and dotes on me.

Whilst this can be suffocating at times, when I tell him I need some space, he will back off a bit, but I am happy that I am with such a sensitive, loving and caring man, who adores me. I'd rather have that, than some of the "donkey" holes I've been out with previously.

[Yvaines09]

My Dad used to text my Mum or ring her (and even try and catch her out on different phones) just because he was that sort of person - I'm 43 and they are now getting divorced! Unleash hell with the suspicious partners with the invention of the mobile phone and the internet

[daisycup]

Thanks guy for all your comments. I think I will end the relationship, I just need to find the guts to do it. He shouldn't be irritating me at 4 months.... Thanks again. xxx

[Jamie29]

Love is different for everyone. I'm sure he thinks he's in love with you, daisycup. Do you love him? Are you 'in love' with him? Can you imagine life without him? Think about it carefully, and you'll know what to do.

I've dated two women who insisted that I text them throughout the day, and I got nagged if I didn't text 'Good Morning' etc. It irritated the life out of me, and I used to switch my mobile off unless I needed it for work. They put me off texting to be honest.

[mccfluff]

i'd be running for the hills and not looking back..............

but then to be fair i only have go on two dates and i have committment issues and can't see them again lol

[daisycup]

I thought I loved him... but all this is putting me off. I don't want to be in a relationship like this. I don't want to be made to feel like I have to tell someone I love them. If I say it I want to mean it and it be my choice to say it. Not be told off coz I haven't said it today. I'm not an insecure person at all and maybe that is the problem. He is and i'm not, we clash.

[4getmenot]

glad its you and not me

[Jamie29]

Oh daisycup, I feel for you. I'm the same about sayiing 'I love you.' It's got to be spontaneous, or it just means nothing. If he's making you this unhappy, you have to do something about it. Will you keep us updated?

Good luck x

[daisycup]

Thanks Jamie29 and of course. x