Getting too close to the Boss

[JOzzie]

I've got myself in a mess. Nothing sexual's happened with my boss and me but I want it to. I met him through friends and made a job happen with him. I knew he was married, even if it wasn't happily. I put myself close to him so I could be there for him as a shoulder to cry on if he needed it. I thought he'd leave his wife and we'd get together. He did leave her because she's vile and treats him like dirt. He was sad and down in the dumps and I came on to him. He turned me down flat and now he's gone back to her. We can hardly talk to each other and I've ruined everything but I don't want to resign. I can't sleep or eat and I don't know what to do.

[cazzz1975]

wife aside, he isnt interested, move on.

If things were that bad he wouldnt be there, if he liked you he would have reciprocated. he will only end up feeling more and more embarrassed at your interest in him. which will make you feel worse.

either clear the air with him and keep the chat business only or look at moving on

[joet75]

bloke getting smacked by the mrs and turning down a young piece?? must be crazy.

i'm taken but i wouldn't turn you down

[China Doll]

Oh good grief, shape up woman! You manipulated a situation (job, getting close, shoulder to cry on) or your own gains and you lost. I can't believe that with that degree of manipulation you had no clue you might not win or that you're a completely wounded pussy cat.

Fair play, you had a go, but it's game over now. He's said he's not interested and he's already left his wife and decided that life's not for him so it's time for you to back off and leave well alone. He doesn't want you. I think you've planned and wanted this for so long that you can't see the wood for the trees.

Unrequited love is naff and horrid and painful but you do get over it. You insistance that there was something there and he did feel something for you is just you deluding yourself and even if it isn't, he's made it perfectly clear he doesn't want to be with you. You've set your hopes so high and built so much of your life around this that for you to let it go makes you feel like you're letting the best thing in your world go. You're not, you'll be fine and you won't believe me on that til you've let him go and you are fine but doesn't make it any less true. You will be ok.

In the mean time, get another job. I agree entirely it's best you leave, you've built too much of your world around him. Go curl up in a ball, have a cry, feel depressed and rubbish and what have you but in the mean time, get your own life. He already has one and it doesn't include you. You owe it to yourself to put yourself in a happier situation.

Take care and good luck.

[cazzz1975]

oh well said china!! :D

[China Doll]

I have me moments ;0)

[joet75]

put the claws away you two. what i said wasn't good but she's upset. fair play to him he didn't shag her. a lot of blokes would. so what if she's got a job sneaky, he didn't have to employ her. maybe he likes eye candy. he should have seen it coming young girl and all.

[cazzz1975]

wow joel I bet your wife must be the happiest woman alive..

[cazzz1975]

oof, I replied to your first comment joel, okay fair enough you are being honest but if he says no then its a no, its sad that a lot of men wouldnt say no. these young girls do not realise the stuff they are getting saddled with by chasing married men

[joet75]

my wife's very happy thanks. i'm not daft enough to play away. her boss isn't either. jozzie should move on.

[legendis.god]

in answer to the initail post.


youre getting too close to the boss when his testicles are resting on your chin.

this would apply to both male and female workers whether eye candy or back of shop in a darkened office type looker.

d t h?�?�

[tigwig]

This mas does sound nice but you have taken it completely the wrong way. You cannot see it at the moment but this is a crush, when you grow up and meet someone else you will look back and realise this. It sounds to me like this man did need someone to offload his feelings on but has fortunately had the sense to back down and not turn this into an affair which would have lead to complete misery for both of you. Think of his children, have some pride and pick yourself up and move on. Go get another job and earn more money, spend it on involving yourself in something that takes your mind off him. Get rid of the thought that he will come running to you soon because it just won't happen. He has made this crystal clear and his marriage is really nothing to do with you.

[jkkerr]

You should definitely look for another job, for the following reasons:

1) He's not interested - despite your protestations that he was
2) Maybe he appreciated the shoulder to cry on but then you made your real intentions clear
3) He wants to make it work with his wife and you will never be happy around him, knowing that
4) He wants you to leave.

dth?

[bemore]

Jozzie you asked me what happens if he wants you and your gone?? If he really wanted to find you then he would do, hes your boss he has access to your personal information and whilst that would be wrong, it is an avenue he could go down.

Those types of thoughts wont do you any good either to be honest.

You also said you dont understand what he meant by "baggage". I know what it means but I couldnt write it down in a way you would understand. So I searched the web and found this

"ideas, beliefs, or practices retained from somebody's previous life experiences, especially insofar as they affect a new situation in which they may be no longer relevant or appropriate "

Im sometimes too truthfull but you dont want anybody bull Sh**ing you, you have a crush on him, your infatuated with him. You have made oppurtunites to specifically involve yourself within his life. If you told him that how do you think he would react??? If it was me I would freak out over it and in sure if someone you didnt like did the same you would find it slightly creepy.

[JOzzie]

Bemore. Today someone told me that baggage is his kids and his wife always being in his life and the next girl he goes for won't like that, and I think they said guilt was baggage as well. I see what you both mean now. Yes he could find me if he wanted to, if I left and he missed me. I didn't mean to creep him out with the job and everything but I liked him and he was friendly and treated me like a grown up not a little girl. I knew he wanted someone to work for him and I'd been to college and could do that job. He's 18 years older than me but I don't notice that. He's not like a wrinkled old man and he's funny not grumpy. I've only loved him so I don't know if it's love or what some said was like a crush. I'm scared of leaving this job then being told that he's on his own and looking for a girlfriend. I want to be there if he needs me.

[bemore]

So basicly you gonna hang on in there hoping that one day he might change his mind????

What happens if he doesnt???? You may waste a lot of your time.

I know its hard jozzie, but if you truly care for him then the best thing to do is to leave him alone. If hes having probs at home then I suppose he dont really need the stress at work.

If you stay there, hoping that one day he may change his mind, you will look for signs that he wants you. What could be innocent signs may be blown out of proportion by you.

Seriously I think you really do need to realise that he dont want to be with you.

Move on, dont do this too yourself : (

[cazzz1975]

also just to add, if you continually lurk around on the off chance that his feelings will change you may become at risk to leaving yourself open to him becoming nasty or telling you in no certain terms that he is not interested in you. he probably feels uncomfortable and embarassed at your infatuation with him

as long as you have a romantic interest in him you are leaving yourself open to heartache, you know the score, he was just being nice, he probably let you down nicely as well because he doesnt want to hurt your feelings, dont misenterpret it as anything else other than rejection, painful yes but you can move on.

on the plus side if you move on you may meet someone new

[joet75]

nice use of words there cazzzz 'lurk'

anyone know how this wee lassy got on??

[JOzzie]

I'm still working for him. Haven't seen him this week but was told that his marriage is over as of the weekend. Now I really don't want to leave my job. I'm not lurking Cazzz I'm paid to be here. I'm ok thanks joet. If this is just a crush I'd hate to know what real love feels like when it goes wrong.

[razmataz]

Not been on for a while and noticed this quite emotional post from JOzzie. Any updates JOzzie? I am a concerned lass and I hope all is ok with you and this man has been forgotten about.