Getting too close to the Boss

[JOzzie]

I've got myself in a mess. Nothing sexual's happened with my boss and me but I want it to. I met him through friends and made a job happen with him. I knew he was married, even if it wasn't happily. I put myself close to him so I could be there for him as a shoulder to cry on if he needed it. I thought he'd leave his wife and we'd get together. He did leave her because she's vile and treats him like dirt. He was sad and down in the dumps and I came on to him. He turned me down flat and now he's gone back to her. We can hardly talk to each other and I've ruined everything but I don't want to resign. I can't sleep or eat and I don't know what to do.

[pinktwink]

im sorry but you have made your bed . Thr man was marrried albeit to you it was not happy . If you had genuine sexual or attracive feelings for him you should have waited until he decided to seperate from his wife and worked through his own issues. Does he have children?

[JOzzie]

Yes he has. He's a briiliant father and was a brilliant boss til I messed it up. I really like him and I don't think his wife deserves him. I know I've been stupid but now I can't sleep and I feel ill over it all.

[pinktwink]

dont mean to sound harsh but its not for you to say his wife doesnt deservr him that is his choice and you wont see all of their relationship. He has a family leave him and them alone and seek someone single who you can be happy with and maybe have your own family when you are ready

[JOzzie]

Even if I did back away how can I keep my job? I think he hates me. He was always friendly before even when he felt down. I really read it wrong didn't I? He bought me lunch twice and I thought he wanted to start something. He must have known I had feelings for him.

[pinktwink]

dont beat yourself up any more ther were two of yee involved. Perhaps talk to him about how to deal with the work scenario so it is not awkward for either of yee. Would you look for another job.I hope you find someone special for yourself who treats you well.

[ELVIS68]

You thought wrong

Find another job and man

[terambulan]

Am pleased to hear the 'other woman' suffers! He will be back to you long enough for some 'rumpy' as he now knows you're available. More fool you if you go with him 'cause now he doesn't need to break-up his family for a bit on the side.

Change you job if you don't want to play this part.

[JOzzie]

I'm not the other woman though am I? He's made it crystal clear he's not interested in having me as a bit on the side. I don't even want an affair, I want him as my partner for life. I'm at work now and feel like a fool. I've lost a good friend and my job sooner than later.

[Stone-Monkey]

Be thankful he had the sense to turn you down. If you made the job happen, don't you think that's manipulative? The man has family, and he doesn't want you. Walk away from him and the job, before someone gets hurt.

[evedawn]

hang on...to be fair....jOzzie's post said she came onto to him AFTER he'd left his wife....

[Bbbananas]

What's the title of that new film just about to be released about someone who can't take the hint? - Oh yes, it's called "He's Just Not That Into You".

Not being cruel love, but you really need to leave him to his marriage, problematic or not, and get another job & set your sights on another (single available) man.

Unrequited love is painful - but it sounds to me that this is what it is. Don't waste your time and don't put him in any more awkward positions. You're playing with fire.

[evedawn]

Yup when all's said and done (and some will disagree with your "comeone" - while others wont)...the fact is if he really doesn't want to communicate with you anymore you are unlikely to ever get promoted at work...so maybe it is time to call it a day and look for something elsewhere....(that means something elswher in BOTH job and relationships)

[sqad617]

Can't see the "big deal", you came "onto him" and he turned you down. Some you win and some you lose, the law of the sexual jungle.
You will soon get over it.....stop mopeing.

[obNOXious]

right first up, these things happen.
you've done nothing wrong, nothing terrible and i'm sure that he doesn't hate you.
I#d advise you to ask to speak to him to clear the air.
Explain to him that you value him as a boss and a friend and that you're sorry that you misread things, but that at that time really liked him, but that you hope that he and his wife go on well and that he';ll be very happy. Explain that you'd like to go back to things as they were before you made a pass at him and apologise if you made him embarassed and try to keep it light and laugh it off.
You're just feeling foolish and worried is all, tis is really no huge deal in the big scheme of things and can be easily sorted out. just be calm and honest and it will all be fine i'm sure.

[Nosha123]

And where exactly is the sisterhood - us girls stick together mentality....
How awful that women out there are deliberately preying on another womans husband.....

You need to get a new job and a fresh start - and STOP going after other womens men!

What goes around comes around remember - and one day it might just be your Husband cheating on you with a woman who tempted him to stray into her arms! Beware!

[Stone-Monkey]

Evedawn, I meant that Jozzie has had a lucky escape. If her boss had started a relationship/affair with her, and then gone back to his wife, Jozzie would have been devastated.

Jozzie, how old are you? This doesn't have to be the end of the world. A lot of people make mistakes, and coming on to a man who wasn't interested is humiliating NOW, but when you meet a man who is available, you'll look back at this and probably find it funny. I didn't mean to criticise you, but please be careful. Will you let us know how you are and what's happened?

[Lakitu]

I was going to say the same as Noxy, talk to him and clear the air and maybe in time you'll get your friendship back and hopefully keep your job.

I can't agree enough that unrequited love is painful, it feels like your guts are being slowly removed, but you get over it eventually.

Please don't ever come on to your boss again though LOL xx

[sqad617]

Wow nosha, that is a bit sanctimonious, human feelings, human failings, forgiveness............c'mon nosha, it might happen to you sometime.

JOzzie, for Pete's sake (or whatever his name is LOL) don't pack your job up for that reason.

PS Not sure, but I bet nosha is a woman......a fat woman (nosha)

[Bbbananas]

You do sound quite young, and maybe a little naive. We're not having a go at you or trying to make you feel awful - just encouraging you to switch your attentions to someone who wants them. And I'm sure you will find one.

[sqad617]

salla.....I think nosha IS having a go at her.