Can this relationship be saved?

[Velvetee]

As some of you will know, I'm in a relationship and I'm 7 months pregnant. I also lost my mother 3 weeks ago, so still grieving.

Anyway since I became pregnant, I feel my partner has changed, he has become exceedingly secretive, whereas before he was very open. He now has his mobile phone glued to him and always deletes the history on his computer. I know I have become more withdrawn, but since being pregnant, I have no sex drive, feel unattractive and have pelvic pain, so sex is not pleasant.

He complains that he feels unloved. I have never been the most demonstrative person, I'm not openly tactile, whereas he is. I think he has been confiding in other women he works with and I have my suspicions that he may have been seeking to have an affair, although he claims I'm just paranoid.

Yesterday we had a huge row, when I discovered he'd been messaging a woman who works for him, where he was basically slagging me off. He said he only remained with me for the unborn child and if I don't change, he will start carrying on behind my back.

I know I've been distant, but he says the relationship is very one sided, where he gives 100% and I give very little, which may be true to an extent, but he's always allowed me to be complacent, I never feel I need to try. I was so upset last night, I thought I was having contractions and had to go to the hospital in the early hours.

After I got back from the hospital, he went out for 2 hours, when he came back, I was still in pain and he basically packed some items in his car and said he was off to his mother's for a few days. I felt completely abandoned and let down at my most vulnerable.

I feel very bitter towards him and have been feeling like this for a while. What I want to know, is there anyway forward with the relationship? Is it possible for me to be the tactile housewifey type he requires? He knew what I was like in the beginning and

[terambulan]

Velvetee....this is sad but common. He doesn't understand your emotions as you dont 'cause this is your first pregnancy. He wont desert you as his natural paternal instinct will bear down on him. He's worried about any conflict between you as has gone to give you 'space', knowing he can't risk intercourse at this late stage of the babes birth. He loves you and is frustrated with himself for 'needing' you.

Hold on, he will support you & your babe that means everything to him. Once the

[sqad617]

teram.

"He wont desert you as his natural paternal instinct will bear down on him."

You are pinning your sails to the mast with that statement.

[terambulan]

sqad.....I have been amazed to find the strength of bond between men and their babies - particularly the first experience. I know its not general but the majority are protective of the mothers initially.

My lappy crashed - stupid battery!