when anger takes over an argument....

[Lorzy Lor]

ok, so had it out with the hubby. but now we're in a nightmare situation! He accepts no responciblity, and says he's done nothing wrong, however he has and i dont get why he doesnt understand my view.

anger has taken over and we're just snipe-ing at eachother, saying things in an angry way, not allowing the other to spk, being nasty. you know.

how can we bring it back to base? should i write him a letter? I'm just soooooo frigging mad! I feel like i'm burning up inside!

[pinktwink]

whisper your responses it will bring down the tone and he will have to listen to hear

have an early night nothing like the making up to release stress

[4getmenot]

if you cant act like adults and have proper convo it isnt worth carying on with the relationship

[ChuckFickens]

when anger takes over an argument

Walk away!

deal with it when you/they have calmed down!

[ChuckFickens]

if you can't do that then......

agree totally with 4getmenot

[4getmenot]

I see it this way if you have something to even argue about why even bother. Bickering is fine everyone does that once in a while but think about it 'is what you are erguing about really so serious you need to argue if it is just break up, if it isnt still break up because you're arguing for nothing

[Lorzy Lor]

i know, we now in separet rooms, i'm in bed, he's downstairs.... got really nasty, threatening divorce (not that he really seemed that bothered by that)

this is my dilema, i really am not sure if i should be in this relationship. i really really dont know, maybe 50/50. i'm at a mega cross roads............ a-frigging-gain!!!
:(

[ummmm]

4get....anger of the moment. People are not rational when they are emotionally charged.

[pinktwink]

Have yee tried mediation or relationship counselling. You need to decide if relationship is what you want and if it's worth the effort

[4getmenot]

Then have a break I'd say if you were more than 5% unsure you shouldnt be with him. What are you arguing about?

[ummmm]

Lorzy....I'm sorry but are you the one who thinks he's having an affair?

[ICEDEMON]

Little post it notes should get you back on track,suggest a pub visit and try to talk without argument or cheap point scoring b1tchiness,even print this page and put on fridge so he can see its OUR SUGGESTIONS and not yours,that should get the ball rolling ! good luck!

[Lorzy Lor]

yes, but we're waiting for an appointment. its taking forever.

my post the other day will enlighten you to the argument, its just so stupid, but this has been brewing for a while.

its sad

[4getmenot]

yer but some people argue over nothing and continue arguing ummmm and they are never happy so they may as well not be together

[Ice.Maiden]

If you can't discuss matters without shouting, then write down how you feel, and leave it for him to read.
If he won't go for mediation, then go yourself anyway. Things might be cleaer then.

[4getmenot]

ah yes I remember. sorry to say it but I dont think you will ever trust him and he seems to not want to grow up I think you obviously want different things so go out and get them x

[Lorzy Lor]

never guess what he said when i asked him for the 4th time if he was in contact with anyone he met in NYC, he said no.

then mentioned about the email, and he said that it wasnt contact because she hadnt ansered, and that he'd done nothing wrong. excuse me? aghh, my head is done in....

:(

[pinktwink]

It's best yee sit down and talk honestly and calmly. Trust is two way and you need to let him know you read his email

[ummmm]

I agree 4get....I lived in tention once before. Never ever again.

[Lorzy Lor]

he knows. dont think we'll be able to sit down for a chat any time soon. might try writing how i'm feeling and emailing him.....

[ICEDEMON]

where is tention ummmm?