Sqad - when I said time of the month - I meant that's often a time when we ladies crave chocolate. And maybe she split some cadbury's flake on her bra when she was practising her fellatio technique (as we girlies do) and then tried to rub it off, then spread it around and, hey presto - caramel coloured brassiere.
And, may I remind you my dearest man, domestic violence is never a subject for humour. Now bend over, and I'm going to thrash the living daylights out of your white quivering buttocks.