boyf still sees ex, as friends

[JanineG]

my boyf of 8 mths still sees his ex - goes to her house to do decorating for her etc, or sometimes just calls in for a cup of tea and a chat. i trust him 100% and don\'t think for a minute that he\'s cheating - and he tells me when he\'s been over there - but i can\'t help feeling jealous and hurt everytime he sees her. i know they\'re good friends but i just don\'t think he should go over to see her as often as he does (about once a week on average - sometimes more, sometimes less). i honestly don\'t think there\'s anything going on between them, but i really can\'t help how i feel about it and we can\'t seem to get past this - they are really good friends, and i think the problem is that they\'re too close for my liking - just can\'t stop this jealous streak. i\'m not a jealous person normally. anyone got any suggestions on how we can resolve this problem? we\'ve talked/argued about it - in fact its probably about the only thing we do argue about - we\'re really happy as a couple other than this problem.....

[lil75]

Play him at his own game...dont make a fuss about these visits over the next few weeks. Then drop ur bombshell...youv been chattin to an ex on facebook or friends reunited, watch his ears prick up! Then over the next week or so, tell him you and this fella have been chatting regularly and have decided 2 meet for a coffee and a chat, your man will be throwing allsorts of questions at you, but keep calm and tell him ur only friends!!! Guaranteed he wont like it.

If men dont understand - make them!!!

It sounds long and drawn out, but you have tried to explain ur feelings to him and he seems undetered, theres no compromise or anything, count up the weeks/months that you have wasted your breath...trust me if you do the above, it will give him an inkling of what ur feeling. Good luck whichever way you decide to handle it

[puma86]

lil75 thats a fabulous idea - itas what i'd do :o)

[onlyme26]

this is a tricky one really, looking at it one way you cant tell him who to be friends with and he has the right to remain friends with whoever, tho looking at it another way... he should respect your feelings over an ex and if it bothers you stop seeing her.

i have a certain view on this........ me and my partner split up for nearly 2 years, he met someone else and even moved in with her, but he was still coming round to mine asking me back, this is slighty different as we have a child together so he told her he was coming to see his daughter, at the time i didnt want him back but it didnt stop him trying it on!!! we did get back together in the end and we are happy with 2 kids now, this was years ago, so it my mind you have to be careful of the ex's, there were feelings there once, there could be again, or another way to look at it is, if they wanted to be together, well they would, but their not,

x

[tamborine]

Make a friend of her & visit yourself. After he's visited her, you call with any excuse ie "bf says you're out of milk" take her a pint. etc. Get chatty & invite her out to Costa Coffee or summat - be friendly with her - problem solved.

[carla87]

don't like the last answer....sorry but she will think u r a stalker but answer number 1 is best idea any guy would get jealous see how he likes it

[Doolallygirl]

OMG you have soooo just described my boyfriend of a year and a month! Except his ex cuts his hair for him every few weeks. I'm about to move in with him next month and can't bare the thought of her cutting his hair in MY home but can't say anything as I've let him do it for the last year when I haven't lived with him. It's depressing isn't it?! We argue about it all the time as I do get jealous. I find it really weird that he would want to spend time with her when she dumped him - they obviously aren't together for a reason so why do they still have to be friends?! I think my advice (and I know I should take my own advice sometimes but it's so hard!) is just to befriend her if you can. I've met my fellas ex, been out for drinks with them both and tried to get along (and failed miserably!). It's now made things mega awkward whenever her name is mentioned and I think I wish I'd made a bit more effort. I just got too jealous :o(