News1 min ago
cheating
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No best answer has yet been selected by Kirsten1982. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.If you are really sorry and are sure you will not do it again, there is no need to tell him. All that would achieve is making you feel better and him feel worse, which is of no benefit to anyone.
The guilt you are feeling is punishment enough, and you should put it down to experience and concentrate on being faithful in the future.
From your name I would guess you are relatively young (22ish). You have the option of telling him and risk losing him, or keeping it quiet with the risk it coming out by accident a few years down the line.
We all make mistakes, I think that if you truly regret what you have done then keep it to yourself. If he had cheated on you, would you want to know or is ignorance bliss?
It sounds like a VERY insecure relationship to me. If you are both constantly talking about the potential of cheating on each other, you will never develop a strong relationship.
Forget the brief lapse, try not to do it again (if you truly want a monogamous relationship) then concentrate on having a good time and enjoying each others company, rather than on what might be.
quite a few times? nice
personally I would question whether there was anything to save. you have already broken the trust that holds a relationship together whether he finds out or not. seems to me you wanted to have your cake and eat it and are now crying because of the potential consequences - it depends what kind of person you are as to whether you face them or not. welcome to the world of the hypocrite. These things have a habit of coming out, if you respect your boyfriend, oh sorry, my mistake.
I think you should tell him. I know I would want to know if my girlfriend was cheating on me. I have been cheated on before and I just think...well, if they are going to cheat then there is no point being with them, because if they had even an ounce of decency and respect they wouldn't do it. Tell him and take responsibility for your actions. Everyone has to learn and its sometimes the hard way.
its not necessarily something wrong in your relationship with your boyfriend that made you cheat and it is perhaps a little hasty for people who do not know you or your boyfriend to assume there is a one size fits all solution to your problem. Before wading in and confessing all try and work out in an honest fashion why you cheated and then attempt to deal with your conclusions.
If you are not feeling good about yourself and somebody comes along who is prepared to give attention it can be very flattering and hard to resist.
Sometimes we all get wrapped up in our own worries and neglect the needs of those closest to us and this is particularly hard if we are feeling insecure.
Anyway i could go on and on but you'll need to figure out what was going on inside of you that made you jepordise your relationship. If you think your relationship is worth salvaging and you work at it then there may not need to be a big confession or you may even reach a point when you can confess with confidence but you must address the problems.
Please remember though, relationships are built on hard work. no two people are ideally suited to each other at the start and life has a way of chucking up problems to test even the closest of friendships. you must decide whether its worth trying.
jim