Confused about her

[searchlight]

I'm married and a woman I've known for almost year is also married. We regularly chat online video and by phone. We have never met but have very strong feelings for each other. Both our other halves know of our friendship but not how close we are. We regularly tell each we love them and text at least once a day most days. I asked her recently does she love me or is she in love with me. She answered that's a secret. Later I wondered if loving someone is the same as being in love with them in the context of a relationship

Do you think her answer of "it's a secret" means she loves me, or she is in love with me or are they both the same

I'd like to hear any opinions, thanks

[LoftyLottie]

http://www.tressugar....-Rape-Fantasy-7103967

[LoftyLottie]

I really feel sorry for searchlight. His question had nothing to do with sex at all, but it got highjacked.

[ummmm]

I think everyone knew it wasn't real 'jump out of the bushes and forced at knife point' rape...

Maybe except Sqad...

[pastafreak]

Good link lottie.....

I do hope that we've given search something to think about in spite of the hi-jacking.

[Sqad]

Lofty....thank you for that link.

[jackthehat]

See............Force Fantasies, NOT rape..................

I've got visitors hence my inability to post much at the mo....

[pastafreak]

Maybe it's just men who describe it as 'rape fantasies'.....

[searchlight]

Well at least LoftyLottie pointed out that my question got hijacked,
Thanks Lofty

[andy-hughes]

I think it's common for men to misunderstand what 'rape' is, and how it differs from submissive sex.

A lot of women fantasise about sex with a stranger where he firmly controls their token resistance. The fantasy comes from the notion of temporary loss of control. In the fantasy, the man takes charge, allowing the woman to abandon herself to the experience and enjoy it. Of course, the man is an expert, firm but not rough, anf genlt and giving when required as the fantasy progresses.

That is several words away from actual rape, which is not sex, it is robbery with violence, and has to do with power and control.

Any man who is confusing the two is on seriously dangerous ground, and is displaying a lack of understanding that is worrying in this day and age.

[Ankou]

quite.

andy, did you copy part of that from mills and boon ?!

[Sqad]

Andy

<<<Any man who is confusing the two is on seriously dangerous ground, and is displaying a lack of understanding that is worrying in this day and age.<<<

Yes I agree, but it is no that black and white in my opinion, as the woman who changes her mind during penetration and during a fantasy.


<<<That is several words away from actual rape, which is not sex, it is robbery with violence, and has to do with power and control. <<<<

Yes, we all realise this.....but again we are discussing "fantasies"


<<<Of course, the man is an expert, firm but not rough, anf genlt and giving when required as the fantasy progresses. <<<

Maybe....maybe......but not in my experience of life, discussions and readings, as many women fantasise about domination, roughness, violence and rape (the true definition)

We have been discussing fantasies......NOT ..reality to which your post above mainly alludes.......in my opinion.

[jackthehat]

Ankou - Don't be silly.
If it had been M&B Andy would have mentioned 'sardonically', 'brooding', 'powerful arms', 'irresistable' and 'bodice'.

[Ankou]

true jack. did m&b invent the word 'gusset' as well ?

sqad.... oh dear.

[jackthehat]

eeew..far too (nearly) anatomical for M&B...........

[Sqad]

ankou....<<<oh! dear!<<<<<

Give me a clue.

[Sqad]

ankou


Sqad
ankou....<<<oh! dear!<<<<<

Give me a clue.
09:35 Fri 28th Jan 2

I´m still waiting and still interested in your reply.

[Invictas]

To be frank I think this is a relationship that is dangerous(to you and your respective partners)and is going nowhere,and as such should be ended.
I personally think you are reading FAR too much into this cyber romance.
Either you are going to get hurt,OR your partner will suss out how you feel for this pesron and you both will get hurt,and it could end your marriage.
Drop this childish fantasy now before the four of you get badly burnt!

[Invictas]

PS:~
"It's secret" shows how little she thinks of this affair,she doesn't want to progress it,but doesn't want to tell you so.

[starone]

OMG, this is going on far too long and I haven't got time to read every posting, which I usually do if it is interesting. So if no-one has said it up to now can I say from yet another old biddie, for heaven's sake, searchlight in the very frank language of the young "GET A LIFE". In the meantime, I'm going to bed.