Having an affair

[Mintee]

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but...

I'm in a relationship that is happy but dull. I've met someone recently that I would love to see more of. I suppose my ideal situation would be to maintain my current relationship because breaking up with him would break his heart (and because we both get something good out of the relationship). He was single for a long time before we met and thinks I am his ideal woman.

But.... I've never been one for long-term monogamy and the idea of meeting up with the person I've met for some no-strings fun is very appealing.

Has anyone else done something similar and if so, did it go as you planned or was it a total f*cking nightmare in practice?

[cazzz1975]

no I thought your happy ending would be guilt free years spent with numerous lovers boosting your ego and giving you the excitement you crave whilst your loyal and unsuspecting partner supported you and stayed around to be a good dad to your kids.

[starone]

No, you aren't the only one mic, but it has been quite an interesting discussion.♥♥

[cazzz1975]

I meant if its a wind up its kept everyone busy for a while. some evenings can be dull on AB

[sara3]

ahh well, there's nowt on telly!

[Mintee]

Mic you may think it is all a wind-up, but from what I've learnt from three years on AB you all think it's a wind-up if someone asks something a bit dirty but genuine, without the back-up of several years' worth of questions. If it suits you to think that, fine. I'm astonished that you think affairs are so unusual or likely to be the subject of wind-ups. Believe it or not, I've valued the responses I've received, whatever their viewpoint. Yes, I will probably still do what I want to do, but I will do so as a much more informed person and I won't make any decisions lightly. Thank you all.

[sherrardk]

Just wanted to say that whilst I don't condone what you are intending to do, I do think that you are taking the negative (and some positive(ish)) answers very well. If this was a wind up I would have thought that you would have started a rant of some kind by now.

[Mintee]

Cazz - as I said, my kids already have a good dad and I have no intention of carrying something on for years. Guilt free? I guess if that were true I would have absolutely no need of asking for opinions on AB.

[Katie~77]

Don't know if anyone has said this yet (there are a lot of answers and I can't be bothered to read them all) but just imagine for a second that you've found out that he's cheating on you - how does that feel???

[micmak]

Thanks for that cazz. (Was i a bit thick on that ) People have had affairs since way back. They still will, no matter what anyone says. Sexual attraction will always be there. It's what happens when that has gone. (something like, God what did I see in him)

[cazzz1975]

If your not one for long term monogamy then learning to minimise your guilt is essential..

[sara3]

Mintee, I also suspect you will go ahead because you seem to be craving attention and excitement.

just bear in mind that your friends and relatives may be thinking along the same lines as a lot of us do, and you have to see them in the real world.

[Mintee]

Katie Jessica Rabbit - someone has already pointed that out. I have to be honest and say that argument doesn't go a long way with me, I probably wouldn't mind. I've had open relationships in the past and been okay with them. I guess as others have said, the multiple partners is not so much of a problem as the deceit. Sherrard - the reason I have not gone on a 'rant' is because it is not a wind-up, I regularly read and post on here and value the responses, I was not looking for a load of back-up, I could have gone to some 'affairs 4 U' type website if I wanted that, I'm sure.

[cazzz1975]

dont forget to post back with a follow up!

[micmak]

Mintee, You say you have been on AB for 3 years, yet you only joined today. Does that mean you have a different user name?

[Mintee]

Craving excitement? Yes, probably. Why not?

[Mintee]

Micmak, yes as I posted earlier, I have been on here for several years but for my own reasons have created a new identity for this question. I wonder how unusual that is?

[Katie~77]

This has probably already been asked too, but.... why are you with him????? Im very confused. If you don't really care whether he's cheating on you or not and you want to cheat on him - what's the point?

[Mintee]

Katie - yeah, it pretty much has been asked and answered already but thanks for playing.

Cazzz - Whatever you all think of me (and I would also pass judgement if I were on the outside looking in), I think it's amusing that there is also a desire to know the juicy details of just how wrong it can go.... I will post an update whatever the outcome as long as there is something to post about. Just hope I remember to use new ID instead of old one...