Motoring3 mins ago
You're having a laugh
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing.
He goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Some guy hit my bumper, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
A blonde was taking money out of an ATM.
The blonde behind her in the line said, "Ha Ha Ha I've seen your password. It's four asterisks (****)."
The first blonde replies, "Ha Ha Ha You are so wrong. It's 1258."
Maggie Murphy goes to the doctor’s. She says, “Doctor, I’ve forgotten to take my contradictive pill.”
He said, “You’re ignorant.”
She said, "Yes, three months.”
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins.
Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.
Paddy is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call.
The caller says "Is that Dublin 22 33 22?" Paddy says "No it's Dublin 223 322!" the caller apologises for waking him in the middle of the night.
Paddy says "Oh it's all right I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
I don't mind doing crosswords, but dot to dot puzzles are where I draw the line.
Why do Girls live longer than Boys?
Shopping never causes heart attacks But paying the bill does.
Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my husband going to do?
A rash of good luck.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing.
He goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Some guy hit my bumper, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
A blonde was taking money out of an ATM.
The blonde behind her in the line said, "Ha Ha Ha I've seen your password. It's four asterisks (****)."
The first blonde replies, "Ha Ha Ha You are so wrong. It's 1258."
Maggie Murphy goes to the doctor’s. She says, “Doctor, I’ve forgotten to take my contradictive pill.”
He said, “You’re ignorant.”
She said, "Yes, three months.”
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins.
Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.
Paddy is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call.
The caller says "Is that Dublin 22 33 22?" Paddy says "No it's Dublin 223 322!" the caller apologises for waking him in the middle of the night.
Paddy says "Oh it's all right I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
I don't mind doing crosswords, but dot to dot puzzles are where I draw the line.
Why do Girls live longer than Boys?
Shopping never causes heart attacks But paying the bill does.
Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my husband going to do?
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