how to let him love me?

[maplestar]

How do I let somebody love me? So I have been hurt in the past... I was engaged, my ex cheated bla bla. I stayed single 18 months to sort myself out and I am at peace with it all. I have been dating this amazing guy, who treats me well. I am falling for him, but as much as I want him in my life - I can already see I am finding "reasons" why we should not be together. Yes I am scared of being hurt but know this is worth the risk. I know I deserve him, although at times it takes some convincing myself! What can I do to just let him love me and not push him away? I am frightened because I actually really like him and its been a long time since I felt this way!

[Slapshot]

You have to just trust your feelings, if you can't do that you'll lose him.

[4getmenot]

you arnt at peace with it all if you are feeling that way. You have to treat this new man as your first.

[bigglez]

dont lay ur bagij on new man or he will run

[ummmm]

Nice advice Steve...very nice!!

Maple, you've been hurt before, but it didn't kill you. You got through it.... Don't risk your future happiness because of it..

[bloaterbum]

As my mom used to say just go out with the chap and enjoy yourself as you would with a friend and above all don't analyse every move.Keep it simple

[boxtops]

Biggles, please stop using textspk, it's too hard for most of us to interpret.

[China Doll]

Just enjoy it. As ummmm says, you got hurt and it didn't kill you. You might get hurt again, you might not. It still won't kill you. Try not to worry about things you have no control over and think positively.

[maplestar]

Thanks guys, trying to just go with the flow and not read too much into things..

[old-wos-is-name]

Terrible thing to love someone deeply, and they stop loving you. it can bring your world crashing down. Play it by ear, don't get over friendly, try to keep a bit backand don't push the relationship, see if He will do the running.
if so, take a chance,
few people die of a broken heart, and there are plenty of really nice guys out there, looking for really nice girls to be soul mates.

[rsvp]

talk to him - tell him honestly how you feel - honesty is a good basis for a relationship

[ladybirder]

I would just let it take its course and see if you like where it's going.

[Le Chat]

It's not him you have to trust...it's yourself, to know that if if did all end, then you would survive. Don't set this relationship up for failure because you are afraid of the future. The future will either be with him or without him..it's that simple! Also, it may be you that tires of him one day, as happens sometimes. Let go!!

[andy-hughes]

The minute you start to care for someone or something, there is pain at the end of it.

That is a simple fact of life, but it is very very hard to live with - especially if you have been hurt before.

In order to fully commit to a relationship, you have to be vulnerable, the two go together, that is what trust is all about.

You can only ever put yourself into your relationship, and see how it goes, there are no cast iron guarentees that anyone will not hurt you again, but you cannot allow that fear to prevent you from the chance to love, and be loved again.

Remember, although your past experience was bad, it will have been a strenthening time, even if you didn't feeel it then, and you don't feel it now.

Your past experience means that you know how bad a breakup can be, and you also know that you do live through it, and you do find yourself ready to love again.

Try and avoid thinking of your relationship in terms of its potential ending, and the pain that will cause, and enjoy your time now, let the future take care of itself. Too much time spent dwelling on a potential future disaster will poison your present, and could lead to a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Have a frank talk to your partner about how you feel - if he is right for you, he will understand, and you will know, and be able to move forward with more confidence, which you can both build on.

Reticence based on experience is human nature, but remember, this man is not your previous partner, don't make him pay for the hurt caused by someone else.

Good luck.

[Mcvj]

I love your advice, Andy