My Nephew Age 11 Is Lying

[loulou111]

I don't mean white lies I mean stinking lies. Amongst many he told the school his dad was dead......?. And others I don't wish to share but are horrendeous. Anyone have any experience with kids who are compulsive liers? Any advice would be welcome please

[NoMercy]

Does he have a stable and happy home life?

[corylus]

Attention seeking?

[RATTER15]

"a stable" he's not a horse, or did he yell you he was?

[RATTER15]

tell*

[loulou111]

His parents have a stormy relationship separated some time ago. He has always had a great relationship with his dad and sees him regularly

[NoMercy]

A referral to the Psychiatric Services may be the best way forward.

Does he enjoy being the centre of attention?

[roopower]

I don't have any experience of this but it does sound as though he is attention seeking for some reason. If everything is Ok at home, I think the thing to do is liaise with school and see if anything is going wrong there. He needs to know that people are talking to each other and his lies will be found out. I'm assuming that this is something quite new and that he hasn't always been a liar. Failing other avenues, he may need to see a counsellor, it's a bit extreme, but he may need to talk things over with someone outside his circle. I do hope his problems can be sorted out, he sounds very mixed up and unhappy.

[loulou111]

His mother isn't neglectful but does bad mouth of his dad at times in front of him as does his dad about his mother.

[hc4361]

It may simply be that he doesn't feel good enough as he is.

[roopower]

Sorry, was writing my post and didn't see that his parents have split up. I think the problem is there, for some reason

[loulou111]

The lying started around 2 months ago but has been getting worse the past week

[roopower]

Even though he has a good relationship with his dad telling school that dad is dead could be a way of accounting for him not being around. Do his close friends come from stable backgrounds. I think he could do with someone to talk to.

[loulou111]

I wouldn't say enjoys being the centre of attention but he does enjoy being praised up

[Prudie]

I'd say it depends on his lies - if they are just fantasy stories to make him seem more interesting to others then, although indicative of some psychological dissatisfaction, it's not too much to worry about. I have come across such people in my life - but your post suggests they are unpleasant or maybe include false accusations or warped ideas in which I'd agree with NOM's suggestion that intervention is required.

[NoMercy]

Perhaps the parents should seek Psychiatric review too!

Their inability to remain impartial in front of your nephew is clearly grieving him and perhaps he finds it easier to say his dad is dead than simply estranged and that his parents hate each other.

[loulou111]

He has accused someone of something quite severe . Police got involved there was an investigation but it turned out to be a complete fabricated lie.

[NoMercy]

I think it might be one big cry for help.

First step, GP. He/she can make the appropriate referral.

[loulou111]

I agree I would like to help my brother his dad has agreed he needs to stop the hatred of his mother in front of him but not. Sure where to go for help.? With regards to child councillors etc there doesn't seem to be much around here. I am not sure if I should suggest social services or not to give. Some advice?

[roopower]

Try and think if anything happened to coincide with the lies starting. I'm assuming that Mum and Dad are talking to each other about this. Bad mouthing each other isn't helping, the lad is piggy in the middle and is probably very unhappy.

Sorry have to go now. I wish you luck, it's not going to be easy.

[jourdain2]

Attention-seeking, I think, but very disturbing. I would say he and his family need counselling and maybe he needs more (what about the Ed. Psych. in the authority?). He may well be trying to get sympathy and, vicariously, a return to the time when he felt secure and cosseted as a very young child.

It could be other things as well of course, but it needs investigating before it causes real damage to others as well as him.