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what should i do

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sadmama | 16:43 Fri 03rd Apr 2009 | Family Life
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my daughter has been grounded for two weeks due to drinking yet again whle out with her friends she has done her first week and feels that just because she did well in her maths prelim and given that it is the start of the easter holidays that we should give in and let her out no doubt to hang with the crowd that she has been drinking with.I personaly think that she should not be ungrounded but my husband is divided.She says because her exams are coming up and that she is doing ok in school she feels we are being unfair.
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Do the crime , serve the time .
lock her in


sounds harsh

but she could be on a slippery slope



like most uk teens at the moment
That's a tricky one. Maybe keep her grounds over the weekend, then lift the ban for the last few days, with a threat hanging over her head that the ban will be resumed depending on her behaviour... That seems to work with my erstwhile daughter (I'm practically on first name terms with the local police because of her!!)

Good luck!!
You say 'yet again'. If she is repeatedly drinking then somehow it needs to be stopped.
the easter holidays are here and even if she remains grounded for one week, she will still have another week to herself.
also, what is the point of dishing out punishments if you are going to change your mind?
it's difficult being tough, but i think you have to stick to your guns over things like this.
and anyway, the punishment is supposed to be difficult isn't it?
Good luck.

the risk with young girls getting totally drunk is that some young lad may take advangtage of her.
or she may feel less inhibited .

the end result an unwanted pregnancy



be firm


Your daughter may well have done well in her Maths prelim... but that has nothing to do with the grounding for drinking... as theonlyone says ''do the crime , serve the time''... if you let her off this time it'll set a precedent...
How old is your daughter?
I can understand your feelings sadmama but if you back down now your daughter will think she's won you over. Maybe she could have a friend over for a day or evening seeing as she did well.
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thanks so much for your answers....her being 15 she thinks she knows better...consistency is the answer..we will certainly stick by our rules..thanks again. Sadmama.
Give in to her and you make a rod for your own back. At 15, believe me, she will try every trick in the book! It's part of growing up. you must stand firm and make her complete her sentence. She must learn the boundaries and the consequences of crossing them.
Going by my own experience I would say stick to your guns!
When you serve punishments, make sure you are going to be able to carry them out, if your struggling to, then maybe it was too harsh in the first place, the punishment should fit the crime & the context. Next time (cos there will be one) think about how you are going to handle the pleas etc without backing down. Backing down is worse than an easier sentence seen through. Good Luck. Have you asked her why she likes drinking? It could help her see why she is, and figure out that its not that cool.
your daughters age is not the issue, drinking can all too quickly become a habit and way of life. as most have said so far "do the crime, do the time" it wont be until shes much much older that she will understand what you have tried to do for her, will she thank you........definately not, but then thats teens. be firm otherwise she will walk all over you. x gd lk

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