What Kind Of Parent Am I Going To Be?

[bednobs]

have reached an impasse with my 21 month old, and having been a reasonably good eater since she was born she now is reluctant to try new things and still wont eat anything that is slimy, or has a non-dry texture (for example she'll eat a whole grape, but if i cut a grape in half, she wont pick it up because one side is slimy), or any veg. She is not yet proficient with a spoon/fork but hates being fed.
I really don't want food to turn into a battle.
Anyway, my husband would like us to be "strong" and if she wont try/eat what i have prepared then take it away and not give her anything else. Sounds good in principle, right?

However, i find her crying about food very very hard to cope with, and my natuaral inclination is to make her something else that she does like (even if it's just peanut butter on toast or whatever) and i don't think i can be that parent. Please help. Either tell me how i can toughen up, or reassure me that i am not creating a monster!

[anneasquith]

thanks bed, for some reason I thought it was older,

[pixie373]

Fair enough, then. Either way, i think your instincts are right.

[bednobs]

i think there is a confusion because they are not supposed to have actual peanuts till age 5, but that's because of choking, not allergies

[bednobs]

i would like to give you ALL best answer. but i'm giving it to JNO because the link was good

[sherrardk]

Just give her what she likes, I have recently been slatted on here for how much tomato sauce my kids consume and the fact they don't like gravies and other sauces. As long as she is well and content (and you and Mr Bednobs aren't rowing about it) that should be the main priority. She'll be fine. Good grief, I only got the things to both sleep in their own beds all night 12 months ago (and they are now five!).

[Mamyalynne]

In answer to your leading question , I think you already are a smashing parent !!

[pixie373]

I've just googled it. It says peanut butter from 4-6 months (it changed in 2008) and peanuts from 3, because of choking risk.

[Mamyalynne]

I saw the 'ketchupgate' incident Sherr - some folk are truly amazing aren't they?

[anneasquith]

well re the peanuts I was thought children should not have them until 8years old because younger children don't have the back teeth to chew them, and yes young children have aspirated and died because of nuts.

[bednobs]

it's certainly been a tough 21 months, more wonderful and more scary than i'd imagined.

[bednobs]

ps i also saw "ketchupgate" and your "your concern is noted but dismissed" comment funny

[Mamyalynne]

Anne - NHS Guidelines


"Nuts

Whole nuts, including peanuts, shouldn't be given to children under five as they can choke on them. As long as there's no history of food allergies or other allergies in your family you can give your baby peanuts once they're six months old as long as they're crushed or ground into peanut butter."

[sherrardk]

Mamy - some people just take it too far.

Anne - took my brood to the dentist this week, thing 2 has 3 adult back teeth already at five years old.

Bednobs - they just get better, wait till she is talking properly and all of her wonderful questions and theories. Then as she gets older she will become a lovely person and you'll think 'Sugar! We made a great person'.

[anneasquith]

bed,,,,,,,,,,,,,tell dad to relax :)

[jno]

yes, to answer your original question, you sound just fine as a parent. You wouldn't demand that guests at a dinner party eat what you put in front of them or starve; why do it to a baby? It will take some inventiveness and guile, but that's a parent's speciality. (OH hated rhubarb but grew up eating it anyway, having been assured it was pink apple.)

[anneasquith]

oh heck,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i deprived my children of nuts until they were over 8years old, ( im not telling them now )

[sandyRoe]

A good 'un. Give her what she will eat.

[sherrardk]

I still don't give mine nuts- just doesn't occur to me, but I also can't stand the smell of peanut butter. Each to his own, the eldest likes marmite (he had it at nursery) and the others hate it. Some of them them love Nutella (yeuch). Each to his/her own.

[jno]

ugh, Nutella, that is parental cruelty (though strangely, jno jnr didn't think so)

[Brinjal]

I was forced to eat what was put on my plate as a child and my father god bless him, would stand over me a force vegetables down my throat a nd I would cry every nip preventing. Dinner times were a nightmare for me. I'm 60 and still won't eat my vege or try certain things. With my own kids I did not force them to eat things they didn't like. I did try and encourage them to try different things but if they wouldn't then that was ok. Today they are adults and eat just about anything. They eat veges are adventurous with food. So I agree with the don't force the issue principle.