eating habits

[NickyBlow]

My 3 yr old little girl still has to have everything blended at meal times. She refuses to eat pretty much anything if its not blended!!

[andy-hughes]

Children at this age are egocentric, and if they can bend their parents; will to theirs, they will do, and meal times are always an excellent battle ground.

Why not try the 'big girls eat this way' approach - and have a small reward ready for her when she eats a smal portion of something unblended, along with her normal portion of blended food. Be patient, and if she refuses at first, let it go, but don't give her the reward. Your daughter will soon learn that the attention and anxiety she used to get is disappearing, and the reward she'd like depends on her co-operation. Once she realises that you are not going to fret and panic over her eating - which is the reaction she wants - she will come round to the solid food = reward scenarion.

When she starts on the solids, be fulsome in your praise of her, and if she slips back (nothing beats trying it on!) then simply ignore it, give her the blended food, but withdraw the reward, and be a little quiet with her, but not silent, or hostile.

This is a battle of wills, and as the adult with the greater intelligence, stronger will, and control of the on/off switch on the blender, you will win.

It takes time and patience. Good luck.

[parkers]

I wouldn't see this as being a problem, at least she is eating.

[JoCannon]

Nicky, I am really sorry to jump in on your question but I really wanted to grab Andy's attention...Andy I am absolutely gutted that the plug is being pulled, I desperatly wanted to find you to say a massive massive thank you for all your replies to my posts!! You have helped me out loads with your kind words, I watch some of your posts and I figure you are a fantastic person, and am saddened I won't be reading your words of wisdom any more. I have been onto Cerescape, it's un-nerving @ the moment, i'm not udes to it, it looks harsh, maybe our paths will cross again. If not good luck in life, you totally deserve it. Much love, Jo x

[CT]

Just to say Jo, it's only the Chatterbank part that is closing. Check it out, itis locked and you can't post there any more. The AB will work as normal as far as I can tell.

[andy-hughes]

Hi JoCannon

That is so sweet of you! I'm really glad i have been able to help you out - and of course, i am still here on the AB - so if you need me, post away, and I'll find you.

You've made my weekend!

Apologies NickyBlow for the hijack.

[meltoadhall]

rod for your own back comes to mind. she should have been put on to solid food 2 years ago. does she have a medical condition? can she mange to eat crisps and other goodies? if so she can mange to eat everything else! just let her know that it will stop and now she will eat the same as everyone else.

if she goes to nursery and then school, she can not have puree!! talk to your health visitor. if all else fails and she refuses to eat - remember you are the adult and ignore it - children will not starve themselves.

but no snacks.

[morg_monster]

Nicky - do you ever watch House of Tiny Tearaways? It is on BBC3 at 8pm every weeknight. This week there is a little lad of 3 in with a similar problem, although he won't chew anything at all, but he will eat foods which can just be swallowed - mainly yoghurt but will eat things like baked beans occasionally. The clinical psychologist in charge said that this is a problem that really needs to be nipped in the bud with a lot of very firm parenting. She said that by the age of 3, they have more of a cognitive awareness of their problem and they know that "I only eat blended foods / I can't eat hard foods" so it is a harder problem to overcome, to teach them to like the feel of hard foods in their mouth and how to bite and chew them for swallowing.

This little boy also was a ticking time bomb with respect to his gut - only eating yogurt was leaving him constipated and with his digestive system having no work to do. However, if your daughter is eating normal food like veg and fruit and meat, just whizzed up, this shouldn't be a problem.

Anyway if you have digital TV and time, it might be worth a look to see how it is handled. I don't know if it would make you feel better or worse to know that the kids are almost always eating pretty much normally by the end of 1 week.

[phae]

Personally, i think this is a very serious problem and a form of food phobia.

Feeding issues from parent to child are very emotionally charged struggles.

The tiny tearaways programme highlighted by morg monster and his advice sounds good to me.

I just wanted to add that when you are dealing with a feeding problem.... enlist strangers. It works everytime. If you can get someone she doesnt know very well to feed her solid food, especially at a table with other kids, I bet ya a million dollars, she's eat normal food right away.

Call in all your friends and get the problem sorted before it becomes a phobia. You can also use tecniques letting her play with lots of different textured foods. Make up games that involve food (not necessarily eating it), get her to touch it. Make a potato into a face and ask her to kiss Mr Sad Face for example. Get her to guess foods by smell. Let her cut cucumber. Then ask a friend to push it a little further with putting something in her mouth. HUGE HUGE praise if even a crumb goes in. Keep at it, dont give in to blended food. You are helping the problem get worse if you do!

Hard job, but you'll both benefit from the results.

Good luck... x

[orange-gnome]

there has been lots on eating problems with younguns on the house of tiny tearaways its on BBC3 they talk a lot about the child having a fear of getting messy having a lot to do with eating problems and they always get the kid to do something nice and mucky like handpainting or something. Obviously not anywhere near an expert but worth watching an episode or two maybe?!!
Oo just saw that someone else said about the prog too...sorry : )

[PhilBy]

It is the child rebel in her, chidren usually have two 'powers' over parents... their toilet habbits (ie. little rebels who refuse to use the potty and insist on a nappy) and their eating habbits. Don't let her see that it bothers you, make a big thing of how gorgeous the meal is that you & your partner are eating to each other and not directly at your daughter... If she starts to feel she is missing out she will eventually change her habbit. It won't happen over night but hang on in there & things will improve.

[funnywebsite]

Tell her it is broken and she will have to eat normal food. It is time she started eating normal food anyway as you can't take a blender everywhere with you. It must be a pain to keep washing it.

[NickyBlow]

Thanx to everyone for the advice but I would like to direct this to meltoadhall. No my child doesn't have a medical condition. No she doesn't eat crisps and No I haven't mad a rod for my own back as she was introduced to solid foods 2yrs ago, unfortunately this is something that has progressed over the last 18months.

Thanx for the reply but unfortunatley I tend not to share your way of thinking.

[bubblebubble]

Tell her that her teeth will fall out if she doesn't use them - but don't mention the tooth-fairy or the enterprising little madam might think that she'll be on to a good earner.