Bathroom Ban

[Drusilla]

My daughters have banned me from the bathroom when they have their nightly bath together as they believe they are old enough to bathe themselves. (9and 6).
I insisted on checking the heat and depth of the water before leaving them, but I'm now hoping they make a mess, so I can insist on taking up my protective mother hen role once more.
I really enjoy their bath time because they chatter away and I feel incredibly close to them at these moments.I know I've got to let go and allow them to grow, but I'm not ready too just yet.
Any suggestions??? (This is all tongue in cheek by the way.)

[PatriciaH]

Hi drusilla, the doors not locked so.....pretend your doing something in the bedroom- putting clothes away etc, that way you can still be included in bathtime by shouting things such as "remember blah blah"

[cliffsdoll]

kids need to feel they have privacy especially the nine year old, as long as you've checked the water temperature and so on, they should be ok, stay close by perhaps in the bedroom, and after 20 minuites ask if they're ok, the little one probably still needs help to get out the bath without slipping, and back drying . a bed time chat and a story is also a good alternative.

[sunnyside]

Awe, I hear ya on the not wanting to give up that time. I'd probably try giving them like, 10 minutes of their privacy to do their thing and then tell them after that you'll be coming in to spend the rest of the time with them because you "really enjoy" that time with them talking and bonding. You're the momma, you can make that rule...and as long as it's not about invading privacy, it's OK in my book. I would be upfront though, and not pretend to do chores in the bathroom so much, because they're probably smart enough to figure that out - at leas the 9 year old- and then they won't trust so much.

[andyjevs]

I agree with PatriciaH. Pull the door so it's just open about a few inches and go do something in the bedroom so you're within earshot of them.

A good explantion to them about the dangers of water, baths, being left unsupervised etc and the fact that you worry about it because you love them dearly might go a long way to pacifying them a bit

Good luck

[Lore]

aww Drusilla, it's a tough time when your children don't need you as much as they used to.. that's what you get for raising independant children! - well done you x

this is what I'd do.. I'd be totally honest with them, tell them that although you trust them to be in the bath without your being there, you feel like you're going to miss out on that quality time you have together with no interuptions of tv, pc's and such like.. let them know how important it is to you to have a set time in the day where you can all have a good chat and a giggle.

Suggest that to begin with you split the week in half, you'll stay some nights and they can have their free time other nights untill you feel more comfortable with it (not that you tell them the latter part) - this is where you win!... ready?
they still get to bath together on alternate nights without you but.. you get to sit outside the bathroom with a book just so that you are near in case either of them need you ( they don't know you're listening and enjoying their tales of the day) - this won't work when they're in their teens tho - you won't even be allowed up stairs at that point!

One more thing, they now have to replace that quality time with you.. so after the bath, you all sit together with a hot chocolate and have a giggle.

Good luck hunny