Adoption

[lilwelshy]

My boyfriend's ex-girfriend had a baby at the age of 17 (he 16 at the time and is now 23) but he doesn't know if he is the father and would really like to find out. The problem is that the child's mother died a few years ago and the child was adopted. Can you tell me if there is anyway of my boyfriend finding out if the child is his?

[noxlumos]

Well that would now make the poor little soul 7 and hopefully settled and happy with his/her adoptive parents, so I seriously doubt if you'll get a lot from Social Services as these things are very well protected. However, if the child is still in care and has not been adopted then your boyfriend's interest in him/her might be welcomed depending upon the circumstances. You'll really have to talk to social services about this as at the moment, to them, he could be absolutely anyone just wanting information on a child.Also it needs careful thinking about from him. If the child is his, how much of an interest would he take? Would he wish to have custody of the child, visit it, or does he wish to know merely out of curiosity. You need consistancy of affection with all kids but especially a child who has lost it's mother, so he can't blow hot and cold with this. Give it some thought and contact Social Services and see if they will help you.Good luck.

[randomsasha]

Sorry but once a child is adopted, there's no way of finding out. As your boyfriend wasn't married to her, legally she didnt have to put his name on the birth certificate even if he was the father. If you contact social services they can keep a record of him wanting to find out if he is the father, and when the child turns 18 (16 in Scotland) they can request all there notes and can contact him if they wish. Social Services are supposed to find out before the child is adopted if there are any relatives (dads side aswell) who would want to adopt, but she must not have given a fathers name or possibly not your boyfriends.

[tigilou]

Does he know where the mothers parents/family/friends are maybe they could offer some advice but otherwise i agree with the others