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my partner and i live with our 12 year old daughter and her 22 year old student son from a previous marriage.
he finishes his degree this summer,has worked very ocassionally in part time jobs during this period.
His life consists of sleep/feet up watching tv/drinking alcohol/attending university/study in order of most first
He does nothing round the house,leaves empty crisp packets,glasses,clothes lying around in the lounge
I have got to the stage where he brings his empty plate from his lounge and puts it in the kitchen bowl
His mother thinks he does enough (ie nothing) and him getting to the stage to bring his plate was the result of a major argument between us over what I expect him to do and she thinks he is too young and carefree to do any work...it makes my blood boil as I think he is having a laugh.His mother and I have different backgrounds,for example I had to work from age 13 part time in a pub and she had parents who did everything for her until she left home.I am sick of arguing about his lack of effort as I am made to feel the wrong one..I know this is a very sensitive issue and I know there is a different attitude displayed by the younger generation towards work etc...am I on my own in feeling like this...I could do with some advice on this from others....i am 43
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.In a few years time this lad will be part of the rat race, towing the line like everybody else and probably complaining about his offspring being lazy. He will be off soon enough. If your wife doesn't mind I would just bear with it. I'm afraid I feel just like curiousity. I find it natural for young lads to be completely lazy around the house - they seem to be oblivious to mess. Don't actually think it's got much to do with laziness - more to do with tidiness and housework not having any priority to them.
It's a hard old world out there - let them enjoy their youth without too much nagging. Wish I was young again.
At 22 I had worked for 6yr - was doing part time college was about to get married and was buying a house!!!. I think he is a lazy so and so. Part of growing up is to learn about being responsible, self dependant and respectful and I dont think his mum is doing him any favours. I think if his mum thinks he's doing enough then you should let her run around after him and you should just refuse to do it. Why should you have to put up with his lazyness.
Curiosity - a 22 yr old is not a kid he is someone who knows a mug when he sees one. You guys don't do yourselves any favours and are responsible for the freeloading, irresponsible youth of today. You make your own bed though and I think you deserve to lie in them. I know of neighbours who are like this and when they are in trouble or need help their little precious Timmy Wimmy doesn't give a monkeys. If you dont respect yourselves then they wont respect you.
Why would other taxpayers have to pay for people that are lazy about the house? If I choose to be untidy and not wash my dirty dishes and leave it to my partner - how would that affect anyone outside of my household. I thought that was the issue here. I was not talking about people not working or sponging off the state, and believe it or not some of the hardest working people outside of there own homes often are lazy at home.
In my first posting I implied that in my opinion most of these so called 'lazy' youngsters would be towing the line sooner or later, working hard and calling their own 'offspring' lazy.
You have touched a tender spot because you inferred that my child has been brought up to scrounge off the state. However, I am far from being upset. I don't know you and people I don't know don't upset me (except for George Bush!). Believe it or not, my son never caused any serious issues with others either as a child or an adult, so I had no need for excuses.
I was the laziest teenager and early twenty year old imaginable when it came to housework and clearing up. Still tend to be that way now at 58. I am not lazy when it comes to doing a days work or doing things that I enjoy.
What I am trying to point out is that loads of young people don't see the need for tidiness - it doesn't worry them that a dirty plate or glass lays about in their room for a week - they don't even notice! Nothing to do with being lazy.