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Family & Relationships0 min ago
Bullying?
Does anyone else think that having possessions stolen is a form of bullying. My son whose 11 recently had a school shoe taken while he was doing PE. The school are treating it as if it's been mislaid although someone has clearly taken it and I'm furious. They were nearly new shoes and I'm going to have to replace them! Also, a couple of months ago, his jacket disappeared for several days before reappearing. Again, it was obviously taken and again, the school behaved as though there was nothing they could do apart from making my son look for it. His PE teacher even had the nerve to tell him off for being careless with his shoes which he'd left in the changing room with all the others!! Do others think this isn't right. In my day (showing my age here, I know) theft was treated severely. How are our children going to learn what's right from wrong if the school authorities don't show them??
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apparently we are supposed to tell them whats right and wrong which is why your son doesnt steal and others do my sons school is the same i think its across the board everyone wants to live in such exhausted mediocrity not upsetting anyone and not rocking the boat that theres no discipline,there are kids at my sons school who get a detention and dont bother going - nothing happens, my son got threatened with one once and was more frightened of me than the detention i went spare.Tell the school if they dont act or at least fork out for the shoes you will go to the papers, sorry if answer sems a bit frank am not in the best of moods this morning hope you have a good day
Yep..same here!
My son once came home from school wearing someone elses trousers as his had been taken ~ I know mistakes can happen, but they were never returned! it amazes me as if any of my kids had mistakenly taken someone elses clothing (you know it happens..lack of concentration & in a rush!) I always return it, usually laundered. He also lost just one shoe..how on earth? I was furious as they were only 2 weeks old. I sent him to school in his trainers as I couldn't afford to replace them immediately, and he got detention!!!!! I explained I couldn't replace a �35 pair of shoes 2 weeks after buying a pair, but no joy.
I am getting fed up with my 9 year old daughter complaining that other children are stealing her equipment ~ I have lost count of the amount of times I have had to replace her pens, rulers, erasers etc. I always check her pencil cases, and if there is something in there I do't recognise it goes straight back to school with instructions to return to the rightful owner.
The staff aren't really interested ~ they take the view that it is down to personal responsibility which I do understand, however it seems that the decent children & parents are fighting a losing battle :o(
My son once came home from school wearing someone elses trousers as his had been taken ~ I know mistakes can happen, but they were never returned! it amazes me as if any of my kids had mistakenly taken someone elses clothing (you know it happens..lack of concentration & in a rush!) I always return it, usually laundered. He also lost just one shoe..how on earth? I was furious as they were only 2 weeks old. I sent him to school in his trainers as I couldn't afford to replace them immediately, and he got detention!!!!! I explained I couldn't replace a �35 pair of shoes 2 weeks after buying a pair, but no joy.
I am getting fed up with my 9 year old daughter complaining that other children are stealing her equipment ~ I have lost count of the amount of times I have had to replace her pens, rulers, erasers etc. I always check her pencil cases, and if there is something in there I do't recognise it goes straight back to school with instructions to return to the rightful owner.
The staff aren't really interested ~ they take the view that it is down to personal responsibility which I do understand, however it seems that the decent children & parents are fighting a losing battle :o(
Teachers are notorious for burying their heads in the sand about these things. I would suggest you mention to the school your intention to inform the police the next time any clothing/equipment goes missing and inform them you will claim on their insurance for the lost items. Whether you will of course is debatable, but they need to be aware you will pursue these matters and not tolerate their lack of care.
This is clearly beyond schoolboy (or schoolgirl) pranks. Furthermore it is not bullying it is theft and it is taking place on a grand scale across the country.
It is also clear that the school has no intention of dealing with the issue satisfactorily. For some strange reason schools are extremely reluctant to face these matters, preferring to �keep the peace� whatever the cost. Just how peaceful they think it is for children to have their belongings stolen is a question they may care to answer but I doubt it.
As has been mentioned, the image this portrays is one where crime is allowed to go unchecked If it happened in a workplace on such a scale individuals would be perfectly entitled to involve the police.
I suggest you do the same. Whether this meets with any success is another question, but if the school gets a visit from PC49 it might, just might, help the Head realise that this is a serious problem which must be dealt with properly.
It is also clear that the school has no intention of dealing with the issue satisfactorily. For some strange reason schools are extremely reluctant to face these matters, preferring to �keep the peace� whatever the cost. Just how peaceful they think it is for children to have their belongings stolen is a question they may care to answer but I doubt it.
As has been mentioned, the image this portrays is one where crime is allowed to go unchecked If it happened in a workplace on such a scale individuals would be perfectly entitled to involve the police.
I suggest you do the same. Whether this meets with any success is another question, but if the school gets a visit from PC49 it might, just might, help the Head realise that this is a serious problem which must be dealt with properly.
Just out of interest, all of you who are criticising the teachers and having a go at the school, what exactly would you propose the teachers did? Can you suggest a practical solution to pranks that have always happened in schools and always will?
Too many people on here are very quick to moan about the problems and blame people for things without actually offering a plausible solution.
Too many people on here are very quick to moan about the problems and blame people for things without actually offering a plausible solution.
I think Gev has a point in that the schools are, to a degree, powerless to anything about this.
However, I do think the teachers have a reponsibility to remind students that theft is a serious things . Also to try and make them realise that what some kids might just think is a prank or joke, can be upsetting to others.
So perhaps a good middle ground is to advise the school that this isn't the first time it's happened and that you would like them to mention it in a round robin. They may not be willing to do so at one parent's request somaybe ask some other parents to see if they've had similar experiences?
However, I do think the teachers have a reponsibility to remind students that theft is a serious things . Also to try and make them realise that what some kids might just think is a prank or joke, can be upsetting to others.
So perhaps a good middle ground is to advise the school that this isn't the first time it's happened and that you would like them to mention it in a round robin. They may not be willing to do so at one parent's request somaybe ask some other parents to see if they've had similar experiences?
When stuff like this happened when I was a girl, many many years ago, the teacher would have made the whole class stay until the missing item was 'found'. Things don't just disappear in PE lessons or classes,s omeone has either hidden or stolen them and usually someone else knowes who to blame.. I would suggest you suggest to the teacher they make the whole class look or turn out their, bags, desks, pockets etc for inspection. Sadly my sister in law has a similar problem with her kids and their nice new coats tend to do disappearing tricks every winter. Other parents must recognise when stuff comes home that doesn't belong to their child but sadly there don't seem to be many people with morals these days. If we don't teach this generation the next will be worse
One of the reasons I withdrew my kids from school and home educated them is that my eldest son who is deaf was repeatedly robbed of his lunch money, wallet, trainers, PE kits ( presumably bc some people find it amusing to pick on anyone different ) and the school were prepared to do sod all about it, ( they knew who the kids responsible were ,by the way).However they WERE prepared to give MY SON a detention for tunring up in non school uniform after they'd stolen his, so I very politely told the teacher in question ( who was also so dim witted that she semed to think my son could lip read with her back to him!) that i didn't believe that their values were valid and that I thought they were creating the next generation of bullying thieves very well but didn't really want my kids to join their ranks and withdrew the lot of them there and then.Best decision I ever made, most schools are complacent and pathetic.
I would expect the school to at least acknowledge that there is a problem, Gevs1966. From what has been said this is clearly not the case and noxlumos�s experiences seem to back this up.
If they cannot handle the problem themselves then the police should be involved. Many schools are too ready to take the easy option, fearful of any confrontation with either their pupils, parents, the Governors or the Local Authority. Pupils are wise to this and behave accordingly.
I am not saying the schools are solely to blame � all of the groups mentioned have a part to play. But it does not help when a school clearly has crime (not pranks) taking place on a regular basis on its premises and does nothing about it.
If my employers adopted the same attitude (and thankfully they do not) I would not tolerate it. Neither should the parents who are paying out hard-earned to provide their children with belongings which are being systematically stolen.
If they cannot handle the problem themselves then the police should be involved. Many schools are too ready to take the easy option, fearful of any confrontation with either their pupils, parents, the Governors or the Local Authority. Pupils are wise to this and behave accordingly.
I am not saying the schools are solely to blame � all of the groups mentioned have a part to play. But it does not help when a school clearly has crime (not pranks) taking place on a regular basis on its premises and does nothing about it.
If my employers adopted the same attitude (and thankfully they do not) I would not tolerate it. Neither should the parents who are paying out hard-earned to provide their children with belongings which are being systematically stolen.
I have to say I'm overwhelmed by the response to my question - it's both sad and reassuring to hear that so many other parents are suffering the same experience. I don't think I will involve the police because I worry that this would stigmatise my son and make his school life even worse. I am planning to write to the school governers though - though I don't expect it to do much good. If only someone at the school would acknowledge the significance of what happened or even apologise to my son. Ah, well, I can dream!
Too many children come to school with uniform which is unnamed. A uniform is what it says - uniform - and we teachers spend a lot of time each school year asking whose jumper is this, or whose trainers etc. Also there is a significant proportion of children who say they've lost things without even bothering to look for it. Am I paid to educate your children or am I a cloakroom attendent?
If uniform is lost, of course a sympathetic school will allow children to wear suitable non-uniform while a replacement is bought. But don't assume teachers don't care - they're as frustrated as you are by the ignorance of a minority of parents and children.
If uniform is lost, of course a sympathetic school will allow children to wear suitable non-uniform while a replacement is bought. But don't assume teachers don't care - they're as frustrated as you are by the ignorance of a minority of parents and children.
EssJay1, I'm sorry but your response is absolutely typical of many teachers and exactly the sort of response that we are all talking about.
"While a replacement uniform is bought?"
We were fortunate not to be too badly off, but have you even the vaguest idea of the percentage of weekly income it would cost a single parent on benefits to replace items of uniform STOLEN.Not lost, STOLEN?
We told the school ( since they were aware who took it and it WAS named) that since they were so smug and complacant they could replace it, alternatively our children would wear what we deemed fit. Predictably they adopted their customary high handed attitude so we removed the children from school as frankly we were sick of the absolute ignorance that teaching staff showed about the situation.
You are paid to educate our children, absolutely, but education does not stop with lessons, you educate by example and by the manner in which you choose to interact with parents and their children and address problems facing those children. If on occasions that involved you helping a child whose uniform has been stolen then YES for those few moments you DO have to be a cloakroom attendant, it's part of being a teacher. People are heartily sick of being spoken down to regarding the lack of courtesy shown to them by schools where they or their child have been the victim of theft and JudgeJ is right, it's time that more parents took the matter to the police and out of the hands of teachers who think they can just lord it over the rest of us, discount the feelings of the bullied and by doing so give out the messge that this sort of behaviour is tolerated and acceptable.
"While a replacement uniform is bought?"
We were fortunate not to be too badly off, but have you even the vaguest idea of the percentage of weekly income it would cost a single parent on benefits to replace items of uniform STOLEN.Not lost, STOLEN?
We told the school ( since they were aware who took it and it WAS named) that since they were so smug and complacant they could replace it, alternatively our children would wear what we deemed fit. Predictably they adopted their customary high handed attitude so we removed the children from school as frankly we were sick of the absolute ignorance that teaching staff showed about the situation.
You are paid to educate our children, absolutely, but education does not stop with lessons, you educate by example and by the manner in which you choose to interact with parents and their children and address problems facing those children. If on occasions that involved you helping a child whose uniform has been stolen then YES for those few moments you DO have to be a cloakroom attendant, it's part of being a teacher. People are heartily sick of being spoken down to regarding the lack of courtesy shown to them by schools where they or their child have been the victim of theft and JudgeJ is right, it's time that more parents took the matter to the police and out of the hands of teachers who think they can just lord it over the rest of us, discount the feelings of the bullied and by doing so give out the messge that this sort of behaviour is tolerated and acceptable.
noxlumus, I totally agree with your last response as if the police were to be involved then the teachers would have to take even more "time out" to deal with the situation.
If this was to happen to my children, then I would consider it as theft and I would involve the police if the school did nothing about it... they would be quick enough to do something if it were their purse or keys that were to go missing so whats the difference in childrens clothing??
If this was to happen to my children, then I would consider it as theft and I would involve the police if the school did nothing about it... they would be quick enough to do something if it were their purse or keys that were to go missing so whats the difference in childrens clothing??
