a good night sleeps

[dizydosydoll]

Has any body any advice or has the same problem as me.
My son is 3 years old and sleeps with me and my partner he take up all the room and I end up sleeping at the bottom of the bed.
when he was around 18 months i got him sleeping in his bed for a good couple of weeks but then he was poorly and ended up in our bed never to return to his own.
I have tried again recently and he has cried for around 2 hours getting him self really worked up to the point i give up. I know this my own doing for not nipping it in the bud but please can any body help i feel like he will still be in my bed when he is 18.

[lady_p_gold]

Well if you want to stop it you are going to have to be able to go through the crying barrier. What has happened is that he associates his comfort and way of getting to sleep as being in your bed. You have to retrain him. Just decide that he is going to go into his own bed 'like a big boy' and maybe involve him in some changes to his room. Make it a place where there is not too much stimultation. Then put him to bed in his bed. If he gets up return him firmly to bed. Continue to do this all night if necessary and until he finally gives up, and he will. Also have some sort of reward system going, that he gets a sticker or something if he sleeps in his own bed all night and lots of praise if he does. When he gets five stickers in a row or whatever then he can choose a small gift or toy. Do not give in. It will be hard but its better to do it now, and it can't be doing your relationship much good, or your sleep. Good luck, and be strong !

[Taz70]

I had the same problem myself with my son who's now 9. It's easy to say keep putting him back to bed and go through the crying barrier, but sometimes its easy to give in, especially when you need matchsticks to keep your eyes open. I was very often too tired to keep putting him back to bed and so most of the time we allowed it. Eventually, he grew out of it and wanted his own space (my son was about 4 when this happened).

Lady_p_gold has offered good advice if you've the energy to use it. But if not, don't worry. He'll grow out of it and certainly well before he's 18, lol.

Can you wait until he's fallen asleep in your bed and then move him into his own. I know its the easy option, it just depends how much patience you have.

[dizydosydoll]

many thanks for your replys, i will definatly try them out, at the mo im letting him watch dvds till he falls to sleep.
I dont think there is anything i can do with regards to his room lady p as it is a lovely room and he has millions of toys in there but he will not even go in there and play with them during the day on his own the only time he will entertain them is when he has friends around

[katieb73]

This may sound very 'supernanny', but a good bedtime routine is helpful. watching dvds until he falls asleep won't help him wind down after the day. My son slept in my bed, partly because i liked it and also he liked to be cuddled to sleep, i made a huge rod for my own back!! It is always easier for us to tell you what to do, its the doing it at 2.30 in the morning thats that hard bit...

putting them back and being strict about staying in their own bedroom does work but you have to be strong and keep it up. i really feel for you as i have been there, but keep at it and you will find that you are all sleeping better and feeling much happier generally. Good luck x

[dancecaller]

How about a double bed in his room for you and your partner?!

Seriously though, I like the idea of stickers and rewards, maybe not even saying 'you should sleep in your own bed' but 'do you want to try it tonight?'. Then lots of praise when it works, a shrug and 'maybe tomorrow' when it doesn't.

[Pea Pod]

Is there something in the room that is worrying him. If he doesn`t like going in there through the day on his own.