Please help! my daughter is a nightmare!!

[onlyme26]

basically my 9 year old daughter just refuses to do as she is told! im so fed up now i dont know what to do, i shout at her, then i always end up feeling guilty and shouting does nothing!!
i send her to her room she refuses to go, i litterally have to drag her there and then she just comesstraight backout!!

i need some tips and ideas on how to control her!

she isnt bad all the time, i mean i would say she is naughty 3 out of 7 days, she is lovely when she wants to be.,its just when i ask her to do somehting and she doesnt want to she really really kicks off about it!

i have tried the charts and giving her treats for good bahaviour but doest ever last she gets fed up and starts being naughty again :(:(

[Sqad]

Never had that problem......I just smacked them hard.

[ummmm]

I would drag her to her room and everytime she comes out, drag her back in and take out one of her possessions.

That'e me being nice....

If my daughter showed such a lack of respect I would have her room absolutely bare...and that's the way it would stay until she learnt....

9 year old refusing to go to her room...who is the parent here?

[onlyme26]

yeah i talk to her all the time, when she is naughty really naughty and always will come and apologise for it and we talk about how its wrong and she needs to respect us etc etc and she agrees and is all nice as pie,,,,,, untill next time!!!! :(

no i dont think violence is the answer :S

[ummmm]

Helen...he has a point.

[Sqad]

redhelen....it is only my opinion had the problem which as parent is known to be "worthless" on AB.

I know that it is illegal to smack them....pity in my opinion, but I never did have the above problems......sorry.

[Bobbisox]

onlyme, maybe she has a little bit of a problem as Helen has said,
a Doctor maybe able to point you in the direction of help with this or it may just be a phase for her, I wish you well

[LoftyLottie]

I never had that problem either and I never smacked anybody hard.

I don't believe in treats for good behaviour though, it's like bribery. Is she occupied enough, does she have plenty to do and keep her interested?

[ummmm]

It's not illegal to slap them. It's illegal to use a weapon and leave lasting marks.

I gave my son a good slapping once. The school asked me why (the little grass!) and I told them that he'd raised his hand to me. There answer...fair enough..!

[ummmm]

A doctor Bobbie? Are you being serious?

The child lacks discipline...what can a doctor do about that?

[onlyme26]

probabilly spoilt her too much which is where the bahaviour stems from, but i have now removed the laptop and ds for 2 weeks as this morning she was 40 mins late for school coz she refused point blank to go because she doesnt like her school skirt!!!

i think the best thing is to keep removing her things untill she learns, then maybe she will think twice before saying no all the time :S

[Sqad]

This post is going to go on and on with the most bizarre of suggestions.........give her a bl00dy good hiding and say that if she doesnt behave, another one is on the way........then let her make the choice, a good hiding or behave. At the moment you are going nowhere.

[LoftyLottie]

I don't know what a doctor could do Bobbi!! She sounds like a perfectly healthy normal child who is testing her Mum out.

If she kicks off about things I would walk away and let her get on with it until she runs out of steam. Don't try and talk to her until she quietens down.

[ummmm]

Helen...My Mother never hit me. But I knew she would...and I respected her.

[Bobbisox]

I was think ADHD, hyper-activity ummmm
which in turn can cause a child to be naughty?

[ummmm]

Onlyme...what you're doing is not working. Late for school because she didn't like her skirt. I'd have dragged her outside without it...I bet she'd soon put it on..

[LoftyLottie]

An attention seeking child - just don't give her the attention until she behaves properly. Shouting and smacking solves nothing, in fact children that are smacked and shouted at all the time just get quite used to it and don't give a damn.

[ummmm]

She's a spoilt brat...end of.