Whats going on??

[Cheese2007]

I've been looking forward to having a baby since I was about 15 but knew that being a teen mum was a bad idea so I waited till I was in the right possition with a good education, job and stable relationship and home. It's somehing I've always dreamed about so when this month the test was possitive I was over the moon. However things have been changing. Gradually I've been liking the idea less. Now I'm not sure it's what I want. I keep thinking I don't want my body to change. I don't want to risk damaging my relationship. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my fairly care free life. I'm actually really worried and starting to dread it. I've got everything I've ever wanted and now I don't know that I actually want it anymore. Please help. xx

[nutgoneflake]

It's a huge step and it's bound to make you think long and hard about everything - it's only natural as you set off into the unknown! What you have to keep in mind is that changing everything as you know it will ENHANCE your relationship, as you've created a tiny replica of both of you. The second that little mite enters the world, you will never be the same again - you will be a mother, and I promise you, you'll be over the moon and will never look back! Dad too.

You've done yourself proud by not rushing this, and by making a good foundation for your future as a family before falling pregnant. You've obviously got your head screwed on tight, and I think that that is what'll be making you worry. You're sensible, and suddenly your body has taken over, doing things that don't make sense any more, and your hormones will be flying round making things worse. You need to relax and go with the flow a bit more. There's a lot of stranger stuff yet to happen...!

You'll NEVER regret having a baby - you'll be consumed with love the instant you lay eyes on him/her, and all the doubts will melt away. You'll feel complete and will be ready to lay down your life for this tiny part of you to stay safe. It's an extremely powerful thing - the mothering instinct - I'd do it all again in a heartbeat!

ENJOY this time while your body does what it does. You don't have to know how to do it - just relax and watch the amazing process. Please don't worry yourself about anything - you're a sensible, lucky, lucky girl and I'm sure you're going to be a fab mum xxx

[jane1098]

lovely answer nutgoneflake.
there you go cheese i totally agree.
once you've seen the scans your heart melts and the minute the baby arrives you'll be walking on cloud 9.
enjoy every moment. time goes by sooo quickly.

[redcrx]

nutgoneflake has given a great answer there!

Just to add though, if you are still feeling like this when you have your booking in appointment with midwife, usually at about 8-10 weeks, then please mention it.

Never bottle these feelings up, always talk honestly and openly with your partner as well.

[Ellegirly 74]

Just to add...

I am currently 23 weeks pregnant and happy with the situation BUT my 2 closest friends both fell pregnant unexpectedly and both were pretty much devastated by the news straight away.
One of them in particular was care free and always out partying all weekend - she was the last person you could imagine to have kids and when she told us she was pregnant there was almost a gasp of disbelief from everyone!

However now, she has a gorgeous 18 month year old and she is totally a dedicated, doting mum and now, you can not imagine her NOT being a mum. She has now decided to come off the pill to try for a second baby as she loves being a mum so much.

She still goes out partying from time to time, but the baby gave her a new perspective and a new lease of life, she has no regrets whatsoever.

Everyone is different, but I think it's quite natural to worry as you venture into this world of the baby-unknown - this is my first baby too and although I am happy I still have major panic moments - but just think of it as a new chapter of your life, with new adventures and pleasures -and just because you've got a baby you can still do things that you enjoy, it's just going to be different.

Good luck and do talk about it with whoever you can, like Redcrx said don't ever bottle it up and if you are still feeling bad about things do see your doctor or midwife for help, but you'll be fine I'm sure - it's just a BIG thing - but a fantastic thing too!

All the best and keep us posted (just you wait until you see your baby on the scan screen for the first time! It's lovely)
xx

[aims1202]

Those are some of the nicest answers i have read and i have tears in my eyes!
I agree totally, you are about to experience the most amazing thing to ever happen to you and over the years you will experience many emotions, good and bad and sometimes all at the same time!
I wish you and your family all the best.

[secretspirit]

Hi, all the above answers are right, and I don't want to put a downer on things. Hopefully this is just nerves and hormones and you'll be fine soon.

BUT there is such a thing as ante-natal depression. If you keep on feeling like this do talk to your midwife or doctor as there are things they can do. I've got depression that started off as postnatal depression after my first child and with the best will in the world if you get that then no matter how much you love your children their arrival won't make everything OK just like that. I don't want to scare you but I'd hate to see someone suffering because everyone tells them how wonderful it is and how happy they should be feeling so they get too afraid to 'let everyone down' by admitting it.

Lots of good luck for your pregnancy, kids are wonderful, funny and mad creatures who will keep you on your toes forever!