Meeting my birth mother today

[Halifaxmum]

I'm meeting my birth mother for the first time today (I'm 41) and am absolutely bricking it!

We've been emailing for a few months, but she has been very guarded.

I've decided I'm not going to try to be anything but my honest self and she can like it or lump it, but I'm sooooo nervous.

Not really a question I know, but can anyone give me some words of advice or support please! :-)

[netibiza]

Good luck but just remember that when she gave you up,it was with love, and she must have felt very guilty so think of her side too!

[RATTER15]

Hell!! Scary, I have no idea what that would be like, so many emotions I would expect.

Just be yourself and don't expect too much, take each step one step at a time and remember it will be just as scary for her, maybe more so!

Good luck xxxx

[abstibus]

Have a look at this advice (from a US forum).
http://www.thelaborof...ts-for-the-first-time

[ChuckFickens]

I understand where you are coming from! I've not done it (and not sure if I would to be honest) but I like youe "I've decided I'm not going to try to be anything but my honest self and she can like it or lump it" attitude, it's the correct one to use :)

Good luck.

[tillyh345]

Dont expect too much, and you wont be disappointed. Will be thinkin of u and hope all goes well. let us all know..........

[roslyn251254]

We all wish you the best of luck for today - let us know how you get on!

[sandyRoe]

I hope the day goes well for you both. Just over a year ago I met a sister I didn't know a thing about. I was very nervous too. I was surprised, and a bit ashamed for our mother, to learn that she had given up a daughter for adoption. That's the way I felt. It was probably silly to feel like that because I couldn't know her circumstances at the time.

[Halifaxmum]

Thank you all for your lovely words - I will update you all later! x

[netibiza]

Well to be honest, I think "she can like it or lump it" is being a bit aggressive. Go there with an open mind, you may like her (and do not worry if you don't). Yes be yourself but listen to her reasons for giving you up.I'm sure she is more than willing to explain it all to you. Don't forget that the 60's and 70's weren't very kind to unwed mothers as there was little or no help and a dreadful stigma attached to the whole situation.

Just remember that you do not have to commit to a lifelong friendship, it is up to you!

[kerriesmum]

I bet you are bricking it . I think i would if i were in your shoes. Just take each moment as it comes. I hope the meeting is a happy one for you both x.

[Ric.ror]

What a day for you
Good luck - I hope everything turns out well for both of you

[pusskin]

I am thinking of you Halifaxmum, and hoping today turns out to be one of the best days of your life, so good luck and hope it all turns out well for you x

[ttfn]

Halifaxmum - take a deep breath and don't expect too much too soon. I think you are absolutely right to be your normal self. Hopefully this will be the first meeting of many so don't rush it. One day at a time. I wish the very best outcome from it and admire your fortitude. Good luck xxx

[albaqwerty]

hope all goes well

She may well have been 'guarded', it's a hugely emotinal thing to give up ones child. The child is never out of mind and birthdayss and Christmases and son on are always in the back of the mind. How is the child doing? Is the child happy? Are they doing a job they like?

[josaphine32]

Hi, Just to say that I hope things went well today, I have thought of your meeting most of the day and like most other abers are waiting to find out how it went.. fingers crossed for you both. x

[pusskin]

i sincerely hope that all went well for you today Halifaxmum.
I've been thinking of you and mum with my fingers crossed, hoping that the reunion went well! x

[kerriesmum]

Hello Halifaxmum did all go well for you ?.

[Halifaxmum]

Hello!

Well, it went really well! She seems a decent person - she explained a lot of things for me and was very honest and up front. Not everything was exactly what I would like to hear, but I'm big and ugly enough to cope with that. We chatted for an hour and a half non stop!

She held my hands and touched my cheek and we even had a hug (in the middle of M&S cafe!) at the end.

We agreed we'll continue emailing and will meet up again.

So Halifax is a happy place this weekend :-)))

Thank you all so much for your advice and support xxx

[RATTER15]

Great news Hilifaxmum, im really pleased it went so well for you :-)